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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 07/04/2015 17:25

Come on, OP, keep going - you can do it ! This is post No 824! Not far to go now!

spiney · 07/04/2015 17:27

I have been wondering about a child on the ward.....- what would the hospital do in this circumstance when there was no where else for dependant children to go?

Icimoi · 07/04/2015 17:29

skinoncustard, as someone else has explained upthread it is entirely possible that someone presenting at A&E with a nosebleed could be admitted to hospital. Broaden your mind.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 07/04/2015 17:29

Social services would probably try to find an emergency placement if they stay would be a long one.

Fairenuff · 07/04/2015 17:31

Hopefully someone will finally call social services to help that boy out.

spiney · 07/04/2015 17:39

So If the little fellow has been left at the hospital with his mother who has been admitted at least overnight we should presume that this is what would probably happen- he wouldn't be allowed to just stay with her?

Straycatblue · 07/04/2015 17:40

As a health professional Im quite shocked at how ignorant people are about nosebleeds.

Lots of people get admitted to hospital daily with nosebleeds (epistaxis)
they usually go to an ENT ward if the hospital has one.
Whilst most nosebleeds are mild and require little or no treatment, spontaneous nosebleeds can be a very serious indicator of something else wrong ie high blood pressure, abnormal blood clotting. Also if they are recurrent and not stopping then obviously there is also the blood loss to consider which can cause anaemia and sometimes require blood transfusions, nasal packing, cauterisation and sometimes surgery.
If someone is pregnant and having nosebleeds its not unusual at all for them to be admitted for further investigations.

Nosebleeds aside, pregnant women are more likely to get clots, especially is she has been flying recently.

NotNowBono · 07/04/2015 17:46

this is one of the most inadvertently educational threads I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

Any social workers out there who could throw some light on the child protection issue (if there is one?)?

spiney · 07/04/2015 17:51

I find it hard to understand how you can drop off a child with a parent who has been admitted onto a ward? Or did that happen in the A&E? It would cause massive issues on the ward wouldn't it? Causing Social services to be involved etc Its one thing dropping off a suitcase... but a child!

spiney · 07/04/2015 17:52

That poor little fellow.

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 18:14

She should be getting released today so him staying there is fine. If not the other "friend" is coming to get him as that was where she told me she was heading to when I went to the hospital this morning. She asked me if I can come and get get him or should she tell the other friend to get him, and as I'm not going to be back until late so I advised that the friend where they stayed the other night come and get him.

OP posts:
skinoncustard · 07/04/2015 18:20

I apologise if I missed it amongst all the ridiculous details given, but I don't recall anyone, OP or other having observed the nosebleeds .
I know that nosebleeds can be a sign of serious problems , but it is just a little bit suspect given the story to date.
It still doesn't explain a 10 year old boy being dropped off! Does the OP mean she literarily dropped him at the door and told him to go in and speak to someone?? Or did she take him in and explain that his mother is her guest and their patient, but unfortunately she is out today and tomorrow so here he is, bye bye???????
We are all entitled to our opinions, just because someone has written the story thread it doesn't mean it's the gospel truth.

Missymum6 · 07/04/2015 18:27

So the hospital just think the boy is a visitor... ?

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 18:28

She asked me to drop him off. We went onto the ward and directly into the room she was in. It wasn't a problem, although they did say it was out of visiting hours, I just said the boy needs to see his mother. Then when I went back to drop off their chargers and washbag they let me through no problems.

OP posts:
FishWithABicycle · 07/04/2015 18:31

Take the suitcase to the hospital. If you do not do this we will know that you are deliberately milking this for the drama rather than trying to get to a resolution.

Do not let her back in the house again. If you do, you will end up having her as a houseguest FOR WEEKS because she will be conveniently unable to fly because of the previous clot.

You have the choice at this point whether to resolve the situation or not.

skinoncustard · 07/04/2015 18:31

Add message | Report | Message poster Lilylonglegs Tue 07-Apr-15 11:11:44
Update: she was supposed to text me the ward last night and didn't. I got her son up and then We started getting ready to go. On the way she text me the ward and room number so I went and dropped the son off.

Add message | Report | Message poster Lilylonglegs Tue 07-Apr-15 18:14:23
She should be getting released today so him staying there is fine.

Really !!!! Our NHS is truly amazing .

This boy has been in the hospital for at least 7 hours . But it's fine

I don't think so .

willowtree62 · 07/04/2015 18:34

Marking my place, sorry

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 18:38

There is the option to get the train through Paris and Switzerland. I'm not near home or the hospital and I'm not having a houseguest for weeks that I can GUARANTEE!

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 18:40

Skinoncustard both myself and the mediator remarked that for someone having regular heavy nosebleeds I've seen no evidence at all. Not even rushing to the bathroom and holding the nose, no dried blood, no bloody tissues in the bin. Nothing.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 07/04/2015 18:45

CHANGE THE LOCKS! She may have made a copy surreptitiously. Don't risk it.

MmeMorrible · 07/04/2015 18:46

I missed the meeting with the mediator, what happened there OP?!

Fairenuff · 07/04/2015 18:47

House Guest took the mediator's shoes Mme

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/04/2015 18:50

Never mind, Lily, you're on the last lap now - in every way!

I, for one, think you've done really well. Grin

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 18:54

Mmsmorrible All the issues were hashed out. She said she wanted to even leave my house earlier as she is not comfortable.

OP posts:
spiney · 07/04/2015 19:00

As you never saw any nosebleeds at all - why do you think she is in hospital Lily? To fabricate an excuse to stay or a cover for something else? She took herself to A&E didn't she? I am so intrigued.