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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think SAHMs should stop referring to this as "a full time job"?

552 replies

ConfusedintheNorth · 01/04/2015 20:50

Ok I'm probably going to get pulled apart for this, but this really gets under my skin. Every time I go on facebook or twitter there are a barrage of statuses/comments from friends who are SAHM going on about how busy and hectic their lives are and how "being a mother is a full time job", and it's driving me insane! I'm sorry but it's just not, is it? I was a single mother who home schooled, and ran my own business full time, and managed to get through every day without any sort of time travel devise. I am aware everyone does things differently and I'm possibly over reacting, but seriously if you only have a couple of kids, a supportive partner and don't have to work, in the grand scheme of things you have it pretty good and should probably stop endlessly telling the world how hard your life is. (and breath!)

OP posts:
SoupDreggon · 01/04/2015 20:51

AIBU to think that some people should shut the fuck up?

UghReally · 01/04/2015 20:51

Fucking easter holidays...

spongebob5 · 01/04/2015 20:51

Batten down the hatches!

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/04/2015 20:53

Everyone has different children as well. I know people that could work at home with their DC, I absolutely could not.

People's lives are their lives and just assuming they know their life and you know yours is fine. It's not a contest.

UghReally · 01/04/2015 20:53

From the moment any SAHP wakes till the moment the kids go to bed they're at work. So essentially 12-14 hours.. That IS the definition of full time job non stop with very few breaks
YABU, Sit down

Cantbelievethisishappening · 01/04/2015 20:54

Oh fucking dear.
So much I could say but have decided to have a Wine instead and sit back while someone else will no doubt say it for me.

tethersend · 01/04/2015 20:54

Of course it's not work.

It's slavery.

FilbertSnood · 01/04/2015 20:54

Full time jobs are usually around 40hrs per week. Childcare is more than that. Working mothers are also doing lots of childcare. But SAHM's are at least doing a full time jobs worth of childcare.... If they don't do it someone else gets paid to do it for them...

What's your point?!

Fairenuff · 01/04/2015 20:54

Are you new to mn OP? Grin

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 01/04/2015 20:54

Star for you OP. I believe that is what you were looking for.

SpringtimeForShatner · 01/04/2015 20:55

Is childminding a job?

Blueskybrightstar · 01/04/2015 20:55

Why not just be happy that other people are proud of what they are achieving, and accept that they are different from you? Why judge like that?

GoGiYerHeedAWobble · 01/04/2015 20:56

Wow op, your amazing parenting and timekeeping skills are only surpassed by your ego. Well done you.

Trumpity · 01/04/2015 20:57

I'm trying to work out how you home schooled, ran a full time business and still managed to sleep (I presume?!)

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/04/2015 20:57

There are some funny threads tonight. Making me go Hmm, they are.

Ubik1 · 01/04/2015 20:57

Very good op.

Well done and all that

peppercold · 01/04/2015 20:57

I've just got in the bath from being up since 7.30am. Oh I sat down earlier to feed the baby and when I went to the loo! I class it as full time but with no breaks.

Goldmandra · 01/04/2015 20:58

I consider my role as a childminder to be a full time job so, if the mothers of my charges were caring for them at home, they would also be doing a full time job.

You could do it in less than a full time job if you wished but that's your choice and it doesn't detract from the effort that others put in.

Idontseeanydragons · 01/04/2015 20:58

AIBU to think that people should quit bitching about what other parents do and look to their own house? Some work out of the house, some work in the house and some stay at home in charge of the house and children. We all bloody work one way or another and should support each other instead of looking for a spot to stick the knife in.
YABU, find an original looking bun to start a fight with, this one is a bit stale.

Original poster
ConfusedintheNorth · 01/04/2015 21:00

I guess it's more to do with issues from my past then anything else, but it does genuinely drive me mental. I do know that some children take a lot more attention than others, and for some people caring for them is a LOT of work. But there are a lot of times where I think people just need to count their blessings and stop complaining about every little thing, it makes motherhood sound like some endless slog that eliminates everything else from your life... and it just doesn't. Yes it changes your life massively, but it doesn't end it.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2015 21:00

It depends entirely on whether the children are school age or not.
Being a sahm to school age kids is a lovely life.
Being a sahm to preschoolers can be tough.

MistressMerryWeather · 01/04/2015 21:01

You're just JEALOUS!

LACH KEY KIDS!

RAISED BY STRANGERS!

And so on...

PippiLicious · 01/04/2015 21:02

Genuinely curious (as someone who works FT).

How can you work FT and HE your children?

I work 8 - 7 ish and hardly see mine so there is no way on this earth that I could educate my children as well as working FT.

Thisismyfirsttime · 01/04/2015 21:02

Isn't everyone who is a parent doing the same amount of 'work' though? Whether you work all day looking after the children or are out at work for all or some of the time we're still all doing the 24/7/365 parenting job, aren't we? The posts that go around FB now and then that SAHM's are cooks, cleaners, taxi drivers, nurses etc etc still apply to working mums!

nottheOP · 01/04/2015 21:03

I'm kind of with you op. Parenting isn't a job but it can keep you busy ish. I work 4 days and the 3 that I'm full time parenting are still my days off. Extending this out would mean that by giving up work to be a childcarer would be 7 days off but it doesn't quite work.

I don't know what I'd do with all the time.

I don't fancy it though. Non of my friends are parents yet so it'd be lonely. Cleaning would probably get dragged out and dh wouldn't think he has to do his share.

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