To be jealous of new female friend

[ABroads]

My DH has recently started up a friendship with a girl he met through a work related conference (they don't work together). She's slightly younger than me but very attractive and single. They have a lot in common and have been meeting for lunches and went for a night out recently. He has been totally open about it and I've seen her messages, which are friendly but usually with a work related twist. I do trust him, but I'm feeling a bit insecure in myself at the moment and frankly jealous that he can have fun lunches and nights out with an attractive girl, without a kid in tow like we usually have.

I'm becoming a horrible jealous and suspicious person and I don't like myself.. But I guess I am jealous and worried about how their relationship will develop.

No I wouldn't be over the moon with it either.

I would be very unhappy if my dh went on a night out with another woman and meeting her for lunch.

Others may comment that there's nothing wrong with this but I wouldn't like it.

i wouldnt be ok with it. Youre basically watching them dating, and wondering why it makes you feel crap. Just because hes open about it, doesnt mean its ok

I'd hate it! Maybe unreasonably, but it would really irritate/worry me.

Can you befriend her? Better the devil you know, keep your enemies closer, etc. And fix her up with a single male friend - quickly!

I would not be at all pleased with this.

The lunches wouldn't concern me too much. It probably depends on the industry but in those where networking prevails meeting either immediate colleagues or work contacts for lunch is absolutely the norm.

I do think it's off for him to go out in the evening with her though.

Did he go only with her or with other colleagues or common friends?

He's dating another woman in plain sight

Do you have any reason not to trust him? It's not the actions of a trustworthy man. I'd be very frank with him how it makes you feel. Ask how he'd feel if you went out with a hot new man all the time?

Yes, he is dating another woman and OP gets a front row seat
OP, would your dh be ok with you 'dating' an attractive man.?

I wouldn't be happy. How would he feel if you were meeting an attractive man as a friend.

Get him to invite her round to dinner? Introduce her to the children. If it's all above board there should be no problem with that.

'Fun lunches and nights out'

Are these work related 'outings' with other colleagues or just them pair as a couple?

Hhhhhmmmmm

Are you kidding?

Maybe time for you to do some 'fun lunches and nights out' with some hot young single guy from your office.. I would LOVE to see hubby's face.

So because he's been open about it, you think it would be petty to be unhappy about him having nights out with an attractive younger woman?

Ok I'm in the minority that I don't see a problem with a friendship just because the other person is female. Surely the problem is the inequality in free time, if you don't also have the ability to for lunch/nights out with a friend without child in tow? Can you not arrange your own meet ups with other friends?

Yep, he is dating her. Having an emotional affair which might turn into a physical one if it hasn't already.

I wouldn't be happy about this either.
My DP meets female clients every day and frequently takes them out for lunch. I trust him implicitly, but if he had lunches/dinner dates with the same woman frequently I would tell him not to put himself into temptation. But I think/hope he'd have more sense.

Even if you don't happen to have a hottie at work available for some pretend dating I would call your DH's bluff by telling him that you are going out next week.

On said scheduled evening, get seriously dressed up. I mean heels, cleavage, hair, make-up etc etc. When he asks where you are going don't be elusive - cocktails and dinner with work colleagues. If you can happen to mention the hottie's name (Nick, maybe?) then do. If not, it wont kill him to wonder.

Stay out for a few hours, return home with make-up slightly smudged, and if possible, slightly drunk.

*Even if you don't happen to have a hottie at work available for some pretend dating I would call your DH's bluff by telling him that you are going out next week.

On said scheduled evening, get seriously dressed up. I mean heels, cleavage, hair, make-up etc etc. When he asks where you are going don't be elusive - cocktails and dinner with work colleagues. If you can happen to mention the hottie's name (Nick, maybe?) then do. If not, it wont kill him to wonder.

Stay out for a few hours, return home with make-up slightly smudged, and if possible, slightly drunk*

Or just talk to your husband about how you're feeling? I personally don't think game-playing is terribly constructive.

Oh blardy blah all this nonsense about it not mattering what sex his new friend is. Put your foot down OP. If he'd rather make you uncomfortable than stop seeing her, then that tells you all you need to know.

I am a bit biased here, because my lovely friend's otherwise lovely husband went off with his new "friend", leaving her with three small children. She used to joke about their relationship.

bold fail

No, I don't think anyone in their right mind would be happy with this.

He's essentially going on dates with his new friend. This is not OK, IMO and he's relying on you not challenging him. No need to be a "cool" wife, here, if you don't like it, tell him.