to think I should be allowed to have a messy hair look at work and smelling a bit at the end of the day is normal

[vicecave]

Nc as there's people I know and this is very embarrassing.

My manager has just called me as side to comment on my appearance. Apparently my hair looks too messy and not "business like" enough or reflects the professional image. The office is business causal and I work for an architects. If you watch food upwrapped on channel 4 I have the same hair as that woman. Also apparnelty someone has complained that I smell. I do pong a bit at the end of a warm day when I get home, I just thought that was normal? I do only wear natural fibers. I'm allergic to perfume and most deodorants so use a rock deodorant, that probably doesn't do much but I try.

Aibu to keep my hair how I want it?

Is this a reverse???

Reverse or not it is completely unprofessional to smell at work in an office and to have messy hair.

Well your boss has a problem with your hair so it depends how much you value your career.

You need to sort out your personal hygiene, sorry. It's not normal to pong a bit at the end of the day. And I say that as someone who works 13 hour shifts on my feet on a hot hospital ward. If you're allergic to most deodorants find one that you're not allergic to and use it.

The woman on that programme has awful hair. It looks like something is nesting in the back of it.

It's much worse than you think it is if you've been taken aside and spoken to.

Businesses try to avoid this wherever possible - lots of people will have complained.

You have to try much harder.

Sorry, must be really hard to hear.

It's not ok to smell at work, start or end of the day.
And if your hair looks messy then brush it.

OP are you serious? Unless you have an incredibly sweaty job I don't think it is normal to smell at the end of a working day. Also, would it kill you to 'spruce' yourself up a bit at lunchtime?

Sorry op but in my experience it takes a lot for someone to actually come up and talk to a colleague about something like this. I'm not saying it was easy for you to hear it obviously but I think you have to take it on board.

You are being unprofessional. If it's a casual work place and you are thill found to be messy then I would say you are downplaying how messy you look and how bad you smell.

I think if it's enough of an issue for your manager to have raised it then you do have a problem you need to address

Messy hair - not a big deal. Hair is hair.

If you 'do pong a bit at the end of a warm day' then maybe you need to work in a 5 minute freshen-up into your daily routine.

I wouldn't care what someone looked like when I worked with them, but I would be bothered if they were smelly, for want of a better word.

www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276415/Article/images/21963465/6522428-large.jpg

Just googled. Her hair looks awful.

Work means fitting in and clearly some people in your office have a problem.
I'm guessing it must take a fair amount for your manager to have a word with you (so not just one occasion), so, although in principle you can look as you wish at work, in practice it never works like that.
Can you have an extra wash at lunchtime?

I should add my DH works in a similar sort of industry and spends a lot of time on site too and is over weight he doesn't come home smelling. At worst he might have got a bit muddy if he's been on site all day and it's been raining.

I think its a bit off to smell in work. have you tried just a bit of baby powder under your armpits and sweaty areas??

is the hair style supposed to messy or do you just not brush your hair?

Their workplace, their rules, whether you like them or not. Professional firms do need to project a certain image.

To be honest, having to speak to you about this was excrutiatingly awkward for the manager as well. I've had to do it as a manager and it was awful. Who finds it easy to tell someone they smell? You don't do it unless there is a serious problem.

So you need to tidy up your hair a bit and deal with the B.O. It's not normal to 'pong' as you put it. You admit your rock deodorant doesn't do much so you'll have to either find an alternative - there are deodorants you aren't allergic to? - or be more aware and do what you can to cut the BO down. Can you go and wash your pits and reapply the rock deodorant during the day?

The man I had to speak to left a cloud of BO behind him, you could always tell what rooms he'd been in even 5 minutes after he left and I STILL agonised over having to speak to him and how. I suspect your problem is worse than you have realised.

Sorry to be blunt but better me here, than them having to speak to you again about it.

You need to bring a couple of flannels to work and give your pits a wash at lunch and maybe again around 3/4ish. No reason for you to smell. It doesnt have to involve perfumes.

Sorry op but I think the problem is bigger than you think it is.

Messy hair looks awful when working, Its fine at home.

I think you probably need to take a clean shirt and a wash kit to work and freshen up at lunch to stop offending the people you work with.

I know its awful to hear but now you know you can do something about it :)

I think the rock deodorant may be your downfall re the smelliness issue. I really don't think they work. If you are allergic to most normal ones, why don't you as your doctor to prescribe you a hypoallergenic one? My DH gets terrible underarm rashes with normal deodorants but the medicated ones are amazing.

Re hair - sorry but I don't really get why you cant just brush it down neatly? I know everyone has a right in general to their own appearance, but you work in a professional office so you have to make compromises. I cant say I like wearing suits as much as I like wearing my jeans, but I don't insist that I should be able to wear them every day to work because I think I have a right to individuality. Same goes for hair - just tidy it up.

Most people don't smell at the end of the day unless doing manual work.

Some food make you sweat a lot and make your sweat smell worse, maybe look at that.

Re: messy hair. Brush and tie in a low pony, it take 30 seconds and looks "tidy" on most people. Leave the dragged through a hedge look for weekends.

Depends on the workplace. Messy hair may be acceptable in some workplaces, but it's not in others.

If your manager has commented, then it's likely that your hair is too messy for your workplace, and you should consider changing your hairstyle.

Re. smelling at the end of the day - unless you're doing lots and lots of hard physical work, no, it's not normal.

Unfortunately I think these are normal professional demands and that your employer is well within its rights to raise them.

The smelling thing is hard bc of the medical reason but I think it will be vastly beneficial to you to try to find a solution. Can you look into more effective deodorant alternatives? I would try a range and see what works. Or failing that even was the armpits and reapply the rock deodorants several times a day. Botox to reduce sweating even? You really don't want to be smelly - this is something people will notice in all parts of your life and dislike, no matter that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. Smelling will hold you back.

The hair thing is annoying I agree. I similarly rock a messy hair look when left to my own devices, but I have to say that I embraced a blowdry for work (law firm) for professional reasons. I felt sad about it but never considered that there was any alternative. People simply will not respect you in a professional context with birdsnest hair. My firm would definitely have not let me go see clients with wild, natural hair. Some big law firms have it written into female lawyers contract that they have to blow dry their hair. It's a hassle and time consuming but I think you may have to bite the bullet on this and just invest in a hair drier. If you get a very good hair drier (ie a very hot, powerful one) blow drying is vastly easier. Parlux ones are amazing.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers

I clicked on that link and it automatically downloaded the image onto my mac

tbh, if your manager has had to talk to you, which is a mortifying thing to have to do and horrible for all involved, I am 99.9999999% sure that the odour is more than 'end of day less than freshness'. It is more likely that the smell is more, erm, extreme than you realise.

Messy hair is unprofessional. I just googled food unwrapped and you mean the woman with the ponytail? Her hair looks like it's not been brushed for days. Fine for tv, they wear all sorts for telly - not suitable for an office.

Your hair looks unbrushed and you have B.O. It must have been utterly humiliating for you to hear and I'm sorry for any embarrassment you felt but you have been asked to do something about it and you really need to.

Sorry, OP, I just googled the woman on food unwrapped and her hair is a bloody mess. Also, if your manager has had a word with you, collegues have been working up for weeks to tell her how bad it is and she's probably been having a panic for a while on how best to broach the subject. You really need to sort something out, it's not normal to be a bit pongy at the end of the day. Don't forget your clothes will probably be a bit smelly too. Clean clothes everyday, and if you're inclined to be a bit pongy, wash and change at lunch too. There are also anti-perspirants and deodorants that do not contain nasties.