to think I should be allowed to have a messy hair look at work and smelling a bit at the end of the day is normal

[vicecave]

Nc as there's people I know and this is very embarrassing.

My manager has just called me as side to comment on my appearance. Apparently my hair looks too messy and not "business like" enough or reflects the professional image. The office is business causal and I work for an architects. If you watch food upwrapped on channel 4 I have the same hair as that woman. Also apparnelty someone has complained that I smell. I do pong a bit at the end of a warm day when I get home, I just thought that was normal? I do only wear natural fibers. I'm allergic to perfume and most deodorants so use a rock deodorant, that probably doesn't do much but I try.

Aibu to keep my hair how I want it?

Right so a bit of an update (can't remeber the password I signed up this morning.)

I do wash every day, I dry skin brush every morning before my shower to get rid of dead skin. The office is like a metal barn, so often gets very hot when there is a bit of sun.

I do wash with soda crystals my clothes, usually at 60 for whites.

I'm very at the suggestion to inject a known poisen to stop what my body does naturally. I may not be as fresh as a daisy by the time ive got home but I don't smell like a kipper. I've asked my honest friends and they can't see a problem. I smell far less than all the smokers who constantly smell horrific IMO.

My grudge is management suggesting how I should wear my hair. Personally my manager who said this to me I don't think he is particularly professional looking, he eats junk food all day (ate burger van food at his desk for lunch today) and looks like he's expecting triplets. But its his choice what he does to his body, why can't I have my hair in a style I like that is its natural style.

Your friends are not going to tell you that you smell.

They're your friends.

You definitely smell or your manager wouldn't have mentioned it.

Are you really saying you'd rather leave your job than comb your hair?

That's your prerogative.

No really one friend would say for sure, she has verbal diarea and never thinks before she speaks.

I do comb my hair, but that doesn't make much difference to my windswept look by the time I've walked an hour into work.

I do feel like all aspects of my life work bleach away, one thing I would like to have is control of my haircut.

Do you have an employee handbook that describes how you are expected to dress/appear? My employee handbook says that neatness, cleanliness, and general good grooming is expected. If you have something similar, I can see why he might mention the hair. The woman you mentioned in your OP looks like my 4-year-old when she first gets up in the morning; a tangled mess.

OP, I hate to ask this question, but are you extremely overweight?
Overweight people seem to suffer more in the heat and will sweat more, especially in all the folds.
If this is the case, and I apologize if it isn't, Losing a bit of weight could help?

You definitely smell or your manager wouldn't have mentioned it.

I have to agree with this. I've been in the position to have to mention it, and it's humiliating for both parties. I think there must have been some complaints for him to bring it up.

I do comb my hair, but that doesn't make much difference to my windswept look by the time I've walked an hour into work.

Could you comb it again once you get to work?

FFS Botox is a perfectly safe medical procedure; many, many things (including foodstuffs) are poisonous at certain levels. Quick, safe medical procedure, or stink. I know what I'd choose. I know what I'd prefer a work colleague to choose.

OK well this is probably where I'm going wrong, I think said woman looks fabulous.

I will check the handbook.

I do think the smell was coming from wearing the same trainers daily into work, then kicking them off under my desk into normal shoes. IVe just bought a second pair to alternate and will wash them more.

All the people saying that OP needs to see her GP about her body odour. Surely that depends on how often she washes. From numerous threads on here since I joined MN, it's clear that a hell of a lot of people don't wash their hair or their bodies very often at all. A GP can't do much about that.

*Personally I hate using deoderant, it just doesnt feel "right" to me somehow to block up the sweat glands like that.

What I DO do though is shower every morning using shower gel/soap, and then every few days or so use the Lush Sea Salt body scrub on my pits, it has lime juice, salt, and vodka in it which all combine to kill off any smell-making things that may be there.

Even if you are allergic to deoderants, there are other options, ignoring it isnt really one of them in a professional office.*

I agree with your first part and I do do a lot to minimise any smell. But a slight pong when sniffing the pits at the end of the day I think is normal and to be expected. But I know I'm alone on that

I'm really sympathetic, OP, because I hate using deodorant too - don't like the chemicals. However, I do know that at certain times of the month I can get a little... whiffy. I use deodorant then. The other posters here are correct, that it's not the sweat, it's the bacteria which makes things a bit pongy. I avoid any man-made fabics too. But we all know that there's a line to be drawn and I think that if others are telling you that there's a problem then you should take that at face value and maybe change something about your routine. Stale bo is awful and not a smell anyone wants to be associated with.

My hair is a little unruly at times too because I'm quite a curly pops. I tend to scuttle into the loos for a quick tidy up because I don't like looking messy. But I love my curls and they make me look pretty. I'm also going grey and I get (genuine) complements all the time.
My working environment is very formal but that doesn't mean we all need to look the same. It's nice to look like yourself. Good luck getting the balance right.

I'm pretty appalled at some of the harsh comments on this thread.

But a slight pong when sniffing the pits at the end of the day I think is normal and to be expected. But I know I'm alone on that

I know a lot of people on MN think shaving the pits is evil or something, but I think if a person is prone to bad BO, then shaving this area is a very good idea. The sweat has less surfaces to cling on to.
Also, are you wearing tops that allow air to circulate?

Me too floaty.

Niamh's being a prime example

I think it's funny how people see not smelling a bit whiffy almost as being a moral choice, instead of a culturally conditioned fixation which has only featured in people's thinking in the West for a tiny, tiny fraction of human history.

OP - YANBU. They can all just fuck off. I'd be tempted to start eating raw garlic before going into work just to annoy people even more.

I'm pretty appalled at some of the harsh comments on this thread

It would be more harsh if OP were to be fired from her job, because posters weren't prepared to tell her the truth.

At least this way, she will see that being pongy is not acceptable in any work environment and can take some positive steps to sort things out.

Oh beloved I could hug you!

Which bit of you smell aren't you getting.Crystal deoderant's are crap.'windswept' hair is scruffy and if you wear those trainers for more than one day they will be bogging.None so blind ( or anosmiaic ) as those that can not see or smell.

Sympathies OP, this must have been humiliating.
I do all the things suggested (clean clothes each day, shower each morning, anti-perspirant, etc) but occasionally I find that I'm a bit sweaty by the end of the day (I'm usually mortified about this and keep a mini a/p in my bag just in case).

The things that contribute to me sweating are man-made fibres, wool jumpers/cardigans (probably making me overheat), wearing too many clothes. I also find that I sweat more at specific times of the month.

Can you do a review of the type of clothes that you wear for work (in terms of fit etc) to see if that helps (along with finding a decent a/p etc)?

In terms of your hair, I think you'll have to bite the bullet and take a comb to work if your hair gets messed up on the way.

Someone on here once pointed out to me that work is a mutual relationship - they pay you and expect you to do what's needed in return. This is usually the job you do, but it could also be being considerate to others in your work place. Unfortunately having poor personal hygiene in terms of body odour could be considered to be not meeting these requirements.

Hope you find a way forward.

Sorry, but if you've been spoken to at work about it, it is NOT a slight pong. And not usual.

It's very unfair on your colleagues to not take this on board, and proactively do something about it. The BO is a far worse problem than the hair, sharing an office with someone who smells is awful, and I'm speaking from experience.

I think it's funny how people see not smelling a bit whiffy almost as being a moral choice, instead of a culturally conditioned fixation

Thank God we don't live in the dark ages anymore and are now more cultured.

Here's to smelling Clean!

You might not want to Vicecave, I've been eating mackerel

I bloody got called into school and spoken to about complaints that my child smelled - of fish, because I let them eat sardines for breast fast.

What happened to bodily autonomy?

It's my fucking body. Don't like it? Stand further away.

We all wash way too much in this country. It's a disaster for the environment.

And as for Beloved's comment. I used to be made physically sick by the smell from a colleague when I was pregnant. Smelling is ANTISOCIAL, and unless you have a rare medical condition, completely avoidable.

Then shower daily
Keep a Mitchum deodorant & baby wipes in handbag apply at each loo break
Tie hair back in a sleek up do.
Wash & Iron clothes regularly
At least you still have your job. Be thankful and just do the above