to think I should be allowed to have a messy hair look at work and smelling a bit at the end of the day is normal

[vicecave]

Nc as there's people I know and this is very embarrassing.

My manager has just called me as side to comment on my appearance. Apparently my hair looks too messy and not "business like" enough or reflects the professional image. The office is business causal and I work for an architects. If you watch food upwrapped on channel 4 I have the same hair as that woman. Also apparnelty someone has complained that I smell. I do pong a bit at the end of a warm day when I get home, I just thought that was normal? I do only wear natural fibers. I'm allergic to perfume and most deodorants so use a rock deodorant, that probably doesn't do much but I try.

Aibu to keep my hair how I want it?

No one is that breath takingly unaware, surely? Usually when people are taken aside for issues like this they are utterly mortified, not defiant? I call reverse or wind up thread, sorry.

Topping up your usual detergent with soda crystals can really help with removing lingering smells from your clothes.

On the assumption this is real...

If you can smell yourself at the end of the day, the smell for other people must be overpowering, sorry but it isn't normal (unless you're the stoker for the office boiler) to sweat so much that someone has to have a word with you. It must have been just as mortifying for them discussing this as it was for you.

you must smell pretty bad because management know full well what a minefield it is to approach staff about B.O.
are you showering very morning before work?
do you wash and change your clothes very regularly?
find a decent deodorant that works; those rock deodorants are hopeless.
do you have a problem with excess sweating?
botox or an overnight deodorant like Perspirex will sort that out.

Argh, just typed and lost a huge post! Will do it as a list instead, as I need to get on. :-)

Basic suggestions for cleaning clothes:

Wash jackets, bras and tops in bio, then again in non bio.
Spray the inside armpits of very sweaty items with anti bac and/or white vinegar before washing.
When items are dry, warm the armpit area by breathing on it - any hint of a smell and re-wash, as this will taint new sweat on wearing and you'll start to smell very quickly of BO.

Yourself:

Shower every morning using soap on sweaty areas.
Apply antiperspirant immediately after shower (trial and error or GP to find one you can use).
Put on clean clothes, don't overheat on the way to work.
Take spare clothes along with baby wipes or a washcloth and wash armpit area and change halfway through your day, or as needed.

Hairdo:

Lots of ten minute and less dos on Google, but this sort of thing can be very quick and just needs a spritz of hairspray on top to stop it going flyaway.

beautyandbedlam.com/inverted-pony-tail-styles/

I sympathise though, as you become used to yourself and how you smell, and it's not something you would notice (in the same way that people reapply perfume when they stop smelling it during the day and end up wandering about in a semi toxic scent cloud ;-) ). You'll get it sorted, so don't worry. X

I had to Google the hair.

Sorry but if you are not on TV then it looks unintentionally messy. That's taking bedhead a step too far.

It sounds unprofessional and I have to say the food unwrapped woman's hair gives me the rage, I wish she would brush it, it looks like a really bad haircut. I've wanted to say that for ages

Sorry OP but working with people who smell bad is the worst thing ever IMHO, it must be worse than you realise as managers hate this kind of chat. Bed hair is also unprofessional.

Re the rock deodorant alone and smelling. Have you tried using rock in conjunction with a natural organic deodorant? Holland and Barrett's do a roll on by Dr Organics. You can easily top up with the roll on during the day. I find the combination of both types works better than one alone.

Have you tried Tom's of Maine deodorants?

I work with a man who smells like he doesn't wash for days, it's not a BO smell, more like wet dog, farts and mouldy veg! It literally makes me gag. He's always been known for having hygiene issues but a few of us have had to go to our line manager because it is unbearable now

I think some people sweat more than others. I have to shower and wash my hair every morning or I look (and smell) bad. That's just my bad luck. Some people don't have to. I also need to wear clean bra and top every day.

Have you tried the Simple roll on deodorant (sold in Boots)? I'm allergic to a lot of things in cosmetics but I find that one ok and it works for me. I didn't find the rock one worked at all. The Simple one doesn't seem to leave residues on clothes either, which I think can sometimes make you smell as the clothes get older and the white marks build up.

When I worked in a very hot environment in a physical job, I'd take a flannel in a plastic bag to work and just have a quick freshen up at lunchtime and reapply deodorant.

Poor you! How mortifying. But you can make this better.

The rock deodorant can work brilliantly but if you use it, even once, on skin that hasn't been washed immediately beforehand (as in, you step straight out of the shower and use it immediately) the rock itself starts to smell of 'sweat' and then you are just transferring the bacteria and smell back onto your skin every time you use it. I found this out the hard way

Another option worth trying might be home made deodorant? It's easy to make with coconut oil and bicarbonate of soda. Might be more gentle on the skin than spray on deodorant.

I agree with capsicum, try: this range from Holland and Barrett. DH and I are both v sensitive to normal deos but manage with this. There are several types but tea tree is best if you have odour concerns.

You've had good washing advice. Bear in mind too that synthetics do hang on to odour, so cotton or linen tops that can be washed hotter may suit you better.

Sorry you had to hear this. It will have been excruciatingly hard for your boss to tell you this too, so please do something about it rather than being offended as it's really better that they have said it to your face than lots of nasty whispers behind your back.

Do you shower every morning and wash your hair? If not, that would be a big start. Do you shave your armpits? That really limits the smell. Work is work, tie your hair back in a simple ponytail or something and have done with it. Express yourself at weekends and evenings. Really it's pretty inconsiderate if other people are having to smell your body odour. It can really make you dread work if you work with someone who smells. It will also be massively stunting your career.

The smell issue I completely agree with.

However, that hair isn't bad in my opinion. You should try having my natural hair, very frizzy and unmanageable. I have tried everything, conditioners, mousse, straightening works until it gets just a little bit wet/hits moisture. Tying it back makes it poof out at the top, not that I can make it look nice as it won't grow enough to style. I was bullied for years about it. There's no way on good lords earth I would take a comment about it now, in fact I would make a complaint back. Its my natural hair, we can't all have it straight and perfect.

I am a community care worker, I have to wear a tunic which isnt exactly light and airy and after 2 back to back shifts, mainly morning and lunches I should smell rough as I had a sweat problem, well, it was actually a running deodrant prob as it never smelled (I got other people to sniff) and turned out Im not able to use deodrant spray, I use Mitchum (sp?) roll on and im dry and fresh all day long. my morning shifts consist of entering a persons house with heat blasting, even in summer, and carry out personal care and dressing tasks and we get roasted so have to take care of our smelling.
So im sorry but I dont understand how being in an office, even a hot one, can make you so hot you smell enough for people to complain yet in my job we manage just fine

Fresh sweat doesnt really smell though, unless there is some underlying medical issue. What causes the stink is old sweat so you should make sure that your clothes are fresh every and even perhaps wear a little vest-type thing underneath which you could easily change.

As for the hair, if its genuinely like that photo then, yes, unprofessional.

I've tried long and hard to find a deodorant my bloody awful and outrageously sensitive skin will tolerate, and it's this one. Apply spray when freshly showered and it works a treat. No nasties in it to irritate. Worth a go?

You need to go to your GP or search in Boots for a non scented deodorant, Toms of Maine do a natural one or Weleda or linked is the Simple one.

[http://www.boots.com/en/Simple-Skin-Kind-Roll-On-Deodorant-50ml_867581/]]

The hair needs sorting out eg brushing, ponytail or whatever works for you.

I used to work in two different architects' firms and though it's relaxed to be scruffy or smell isn't professional, suppose you have a meeting with clients?

I also used to occasionally come into work with freshly washed but not necessarily brushed hair, no makeup etc until I got a comment, not nasty but just an aside. Now I make time in the morning to sort my hair out, style it and a 5 minute makeup routine.

I'm lucky enough in that I don't generally need deodorant apart from in summer maybe but I shower every day.

I think that the hair situation is compounded by the smell situation. If you didn't smell, I think the messy hair wouldn't be a problem, or as much of a problem. I feel awful saying this as, I had to have th 'people are complaining that you smell' conversation with a staff member and it was awful for both of us. But i think your bosses view is that overall, you come across unprofessional and a bit of a mess.

I'm another one quite shocked at these comments about hair. Mine is very wayward. Always. Hairdressers moan about it (cheers and way to be professional).
Here's a thought for those who think a bit of effort improves things: hair products absolutely stink. They are either very chemical or sickly sweet. You guys, wearing them daily make me gag and I can't wait gor the day people decide looking all dolled up is actually false and naff. But I've the sense to stfu in my life. Not go telling everyone how they should look, smell.
As for armpit hair. It's bollocks that a shaved pit smells less. It's the level of bacteria on your skin. Getting some sort of soap that doesn't encourage these to multiply quite so fast will help. How much you sweat (unless visibly a problem to yourself) is a bit irrelevant to the smell.

flora I can't understand why you think the hair comments are unacceptable.

most hairdressers can do something or recommend something for hair. I've known several people with frizzy/curly/unmanageable hair and yes they can do something with it. sometimes it comes down to a hairdresser who knows how to deal with curly hair.

Sorry but I think OP is being lazy, not waking up to her appearance problems and as seriously and others have said she is looking a bit of a mess and smelling too and it's not nice for her colleague to have to speak to her about it.

Because the gist is if your hair is not smooth and glossy you're unprofessional (that's a reasonable chunk of many populations). How does my hair affect my thinking? Do those willful strands waggle their way into my brain cells and block my receptors?
Do my unruly locks get in the way of my hands performing tasks? I can see how too long fringe could be an issue. But really the rest is madness.

And congratulations on having known some people with curly or unmanageable hair. Are they now wearing their hair straight to appease your sense of propriety?