Neighbour won't give me my parcel!

[Nannyplum2015]

I've problems with this neighbour before over parking.

She's had a parcel of mine since Wednesday last week and I know she is in but she is refusing to open the door. Wibu if I knocked the door down? It's a present I need to give to someone on Saturday.

Ooh yes - do what Raptor suggests with the sello applied to the doorbell!! This woman is loop-de-frigging-loop, that's for sure.

(Is it wrong that I am now imagining NAR to look a bit like Poldark? Topless scything, anyone?)

Goodness this woman is rather odd isn't she?

Definitely get NAR involved!

I'd go with holding down the doorbell too and warning the post office that there's a thief at number X

Keep ringing until she answers, I think I would get a big stick and bang until she gives it up

I'd put a note on your door for the postie 'please do not leave parcels with lady at no.X as she refused to give me the last one and I had to report it stolen' - if she reads it even better!

This neighbour just keeps on giving - she's a MN stalwart now, popping up just at the point when you think she's finally gone, but like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction .

I think you fucked with the wrong neighbour

Dear Retailer

I have not received the order number which I understood was to be delivered on X day. A neighbour at Y address said they thought a delivery may have been left at Z address but I do not believe this is the case because I have called there several times this week and there is no answer. They must be away, so I do not think the parcel has been delivered at all. Certainly there is no note through my door telling me it has been left with a neighbour. Please would you therefore explain the delay and ensure my delivery is made as soon as possible. I wanted it delivered by X day so that I could give it to a friend for their birthday on J day.

Yours faithfully

Then post a copy of the letter/email through the neighbour's door and see what happens.

Hurrah! Oh no! Not that neighbour again!

I like the blocking her in idea, although probably not strictly allowed. If there's any possible way that NAR and FONAR could get involved at all, please ensure that it does happen.

Alternatively, if it was delivered by Royal Mail, could you leave a noteon your door saying that you understand your parcel was delivered to bat-shit crazy lady your neighbour and she's not allowing you to have it. Is there anything that they can do to enforce its return?

What a bellend she is!! I vote for sellotaping the door bell

She obviously opens the door to some (eg the postman) and so can see you coming up the path. Seems to me you need a friend to go round. Then either jump out from behind the bushes once she's opened the door, or friend can claim to be from the post office seeking back said parcel

I vote supergluing her door closed :o

I'd go over and knock on the door, then shout through the letterbox that you will return every hour, on the hour, through the night if necessary until she opens the door and gives you your parcel.

Then do it... she won't like being knocked at 10pm... 11pm... midnight... 1am... and so on.

She'll open the door.

Baseball bat?

Ridiculous woman.
I would

1. report it to the company who sent it - it hasn't been delivered to you
2. report it to Royal Mail saying that she is refusing to give it to you and that they are under no circumstances to leave any parcels for you with her again
3. ring 101 and ask what you can do about the situation.

She thinks it is payback time for the car parking incident. What a nightmare she is! I really do not understand why people behave like this. What on earth is the point of being such a PITA?

I would check with the delivery company that they did indeed deliver your parcel to your completely bonkers NDN.

Then park your car very close to hers so that she can't get in, it made her knock on doors last time. When she knocks to ask you to move your car, tell her you'll move it if she will hand over the parcel. Oh and you could point out that it might be considered theft if she were to hang on to your property and then you could call the police if she would prefer that.

One of my neighbours ,S,lives at number 37. She is a seamstress and ordered a new sewing machine from Germany-cost her £1200. She was told it would take a week to be delivered.
After 10 days, she hadn't received it, so she rang the company. Apparently they had delivered it 3 days earlier, but to number 17-think it was a mistake as they don't really know the people at number 17-and they'd signed for it.
They went to number 17 several times, and he wouldn't answer the door. They knew he was in as they could see him moving around inside,but he wouldn't open the door.
In the end, S's son went banging on the door and told him he would call the police if he didn't let them in. He eventually let them in, and they found the sewing machine sitting on the dining room table. He'd opened it, thrown all the wrapping and instructions away,and decided to keep it. He knew it wasn't his, but had signed for it then thought he could get away with it!
Bizarre!

The sewing machine could be used to make a postie outfit for op.

great idea kissed-will ask OP for sizes if she needs one!
Can't believe the cheek of some people though,especially when they live so close!

I would ring 101 for advice. She clearly has issues with you and I don't think it's a good idea to keep trying to sort then out on your own. (Entertaining as it may be for all of us

Oh good lord, the woman is unbelievable. She wouldn't know neighbourliness if it slapped her.

No way would I let her get away with it regardless of cost of parcel.

(Pulls up beanbag ready for another excellent Nannyplum crazy neighbour story)

*waves

Holy shit! Just finished reading. She's batcrap crazy!

Report her for stealing.