...To think the mum who attacked bullies is RIGHT?

[candidkate]

Just read this story

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/i-know-what-wrong-im-8870532

This poor mum has witnessed her DD be bullied for years. 15 school kids had the balls to even show up at her home screaming abuse, threatening to kill her poor DD! She comes home furious and attacks one of them, punching the other who tried to break it up.

I don't condone violence full stop. But these were 14 year old hardly little kids who do not know better. I'm sorry but I'm putting my hands on you before you ever harm my child!

It was a daunting situation - she had even called the police and what did they do? Nothing. Kids are killing themselves while schools and police twiddle their thumbs. Enough it enough!

And with the OP's last post..I think I can (almost) rest my case.

I'm not the scary one here candidkate, you really need to take a serious look at some of the inflammatory nonsense you've posted.

You're in a hole...quit digging.

And OP if you equate every bit of dissent with being bullied, that's probably where your problem lies.

"Some of these "children" know that they are untouchable - and behave accordingly. My DH has been robbed by a gang of "children" at 3am (he's a milkman). There were about 10 of them, they were about 13-16 years old. He knew, and they knew (and taunted him) that he could not physically touch them to protect his goods or self. They nicked loads of stuff and smashed his mobile that he'd got out to ring the Police. He's self employed so cost us directly.

He was 17 years in the Army before, did several tours of duty in NI in the 80's when things were tough. When he got home after being robbed and tormented by these "children" he wept. He had never felt so vulnerable.

So shag off some of you. Pray that you never find yourself or yours at the mercy of these bastards. "Children" - my arse."

Exactly.

...and you're the one continually using my name, goading and provoking...hmm...could even be construed as "bullying" type behaviour...I think you doth protest too much OP, bit of a dish it out and can't take it merchant, are we?

The little shits are even going to get compensation.What a great message to send out to the bullies. Goad and bully and provoke to such an extent that someone snaps and hits you and hey presto you're going to be rewarded.Its sickening.

The thing here is, that the mother WAS lucky she didn't get a sentence.

because then she would have left 3 young kids to be looked after by a family member, or the state. Would they be better off then?

Look, I get it, I really do...after years of this behaviour she snapped, but honestly, it makes her no better then the bullies, it makes her worse, because she is an adult who should have known better. She has made the bullies into victims.

If she had been hitting her own kid, they'd be no remorse.

When people say "I'd do anything" for my child they obviously don't mean it and I don't say that in a judgemental way. I wouldn't kill for my child. Because then I'd be locked up & what fucking use am I to my child, locked up? I'd rather be with my child, helping her, than locked up with even less power over the situation. You're a fucking idiot if you think killing for your child will end any kind of grief, end any kind of upset, because all you will be doing is giving them ANOTHER thing to contented with, only this time, they will have to do it without YOU!!!

If you want to add to your child's pain, be my guest, but don't have a dig at those of us who wouldn't do so.

And saying you don't mean it in a judgemental way doesn't take away the fact that it IS judgemental!

I'm tired of people on MN perpetuating the very actions we complain our kids have to suffer from But that is EXACTLY what you are proposing & supporting here....you are condoning this woman's actions & saying it is OK for her to beat a child, but it isn't OK for the child to beat her daughter...

I'd rather become part of the problem And what of your already struggling child when you are in prison?

Not one of the pro-violence to bullies on this thread had thought through the consequences of their tit-for-tat crap. Exactly..I said it before...hypocritical much?*

But I won't let anyone harm my child, and if violence is the only way to stop that from happening (which many posters have proven is sometimes the case) then so be it. Don't harm my child, but I can harm you..

I doubt it to be honest, because otherwise you'd have more empathy So just because she isn't yelling support from the rooftop in favour of violence, she hasn't experienced bullying etc? Wasn't it you who criticised finnbarrcar for calling out the op for not sharing her opinion, yet you have just done the same, criticised her for disagreeing with you & called her a liar to boot? Why accuse her of lying just because she doesn't agree with you? Not everyone's experiences are the same, doesn't mean you are allowed to crap all over hers just because you don't agree with what she would/wouldn't do did/didn't do!

The little shits are even going to get compensation And whose fault is that? The person who hit them, because by doing so, she turned THEM into the victims. Which is why it is never a good idea to fight violence with violence!

sympathy, not remorse

Most 14 year olds are hardly little kids are they! They are adolescents and many are practically adults.
Forget the DD - I would be pretty intimidated if 15 of these thugs turned up outside my house making threats against my family.

I wouldn't have been so restrained with them to be honest.

Don't harm my child, but I can harm you

Could equally be seen as If you hurt my child, then I will hurt you.

Might be a slight difference, but there is a difference.

I agree with you about the 'killing for your kids' bit. Not going to help them if you're locked up, however difference saying 'I wouldn't do it' and 'I wouldn't want to do it'

There's a lot of hypocrisy on here.A week or so ago there was a thread about smacking children (tapping their bums) and I would say 95% of posters were apalled and thought it never was justified.
We have had threads where step child (teen) has been hit by partners ex and it is hearts and flowers for the poor little lamb.
Yet hitting this child is somehow justifiable!
If a parent had caused an injury like to that or their son or daughter, the kid would have been in care and the parent charged before you could turn around.
So what is the message.It is ok to punch other people's kids but not your own?

maninawomansworld
The girl was 13.,SAhe might have been 12 a few days before.That is not practically an adult-that is a little girl.

Alice I think you're very fortunate to not be able to imagine just how feral some 12 years old can be...

. Which is why it is never a good idea to fight violence with violence!
Sorry I don't agree with that. There are occasions in life when violence might be the only thing that will save your life.

The people who are saying 13 and 14 year olds are practically adults and not children? Do you actually have 13 and 14 year olds (or teenagers), regardless of how they behave or what they get up to, they are children physically and mentally.

I totally accept some children behave terrifyingly and that adults can become victims. I totally accept some children bully other children sometimes violently and that is horrendous.

But let's not forget the fact that a) there is a REASON kids become violent and 'feral' and that is because they are neglected or come from violent homes and that's why it is wrong and dangerous to dismiss the fact they are children.

What do we want 14 years old tried as adults like they do in America?

And anyone who comes on here ranting about these kids going from that one newspaper feature is ridiculous and knee jerk.

It tells us pretty much fuck all in terms of facts about the situation, the two sides, what this woman is like, her daughter is like, what these kids are like, what really happened from both sides, what the school thinks and knows.

Whether Alice can imagine how feral some 12 year olds can be or not, Rocket, they are still children! They have become 'feral' for a reason. It is a very dangerous slippery slope to see 12, 13, 14 year olds as culpable adults.

If 12 or 13 year olds roam around in feral gangs making death threats to children they give up the right to be treated as children. What are we supposed to do, sit back and let it all happen. They're frightened of NOTHING. Maybe what this woman did might make some of them realise that not everyone is prepared to be a victim and put up with their vile disgusting antics.

thatsucks I totally get your point, the type of children I'm describing obviously haven't got the best home lives, and are probably abused/neglected and it's very sad.

However knowing that doesn't stop them behaving how they do, and doesn't stop them making peoples lives a misery.

As a PP said, a lot of them seem to be fully aware they're 'untouchable' as it were.

I'm not sure what the answer is, but just excusing it as 'but they're only children' doesn't seem to very helpful either tbh.

..amd looking at the 15 year old.She was attacked purely for trying to help and protect the younger girl!!

If my sitting in jail means i saved my childs life so be it. Obviously I'm not killing someone who pinched my kid but if robber has a knife to my kid and I can clobber him behind the head with something of course i will.
Of course i don't mean i'd come to school with a rifle. But you all knew i didn't mean that of course.

The same way Finbarr can't find one negative thing I've said about her. We just disagree and I' happy for that but some people on MN always have to take it past that.

It's not an easy topic to discuss with people who can't comprehend the things that these people do - or who have no answer to what they would do if they had been failed. But its okay to say you don't know!

Candidkate - no, I don't believe you would kill your child, that is clearly a figure of speech. But I'd like to know what you meant by "And I'd warn them that if they so much as snicker at someone being mistreated I'd give them something to laugh at. " What would be the "something to laugh at" because that, to me, is not the sort of expression I, or any parent I know, would use to refer to not letting them play their Xbox for a week.

thatsucks This is all true what you are saying. However what type of innocen t kids go to someones home throwing eggs and sprouting death threats? Hmmm?
I understand those who think IBU but how can you umm and ahh about the responsibility of these hooligans when they made the choice to taunt bully and threaten someone who no longer even attends the same school as them? What do you mean two sides? As though anything could justify their actions? Not having a go these are genuine questions.

DrSethHazlittMD That's fine where i grew up and still to this day people use that expression for the smallest of things. I already answered you but perhaps you missed the post : I simply meant that I'd tell them about suicide and self harm and self hatred and not wanting to leave your home to see if they'd find that funny (which they obviously wouldn't hence the threat)That's what i meant by "id give them something to laugh at" x

And I respectfully disagree with your 'whether she can imagine or not' comment.

I do think people here can be spectacularly naive!
I can imagine people, having not dealt with this kind of thing, or encountered these types of children before, looking at there own teens and thinking 'they're so young' etc.
I get that.

But I don't know one person who has dealt with this kind of thing sitting saying 'but they're only kids'. That to me is very telling.

And while treating young teenagers as culpable adults may not be the answer, dismissing their behaviour because they're 'just children' certainly isn't either.

Springtulip I also feel like some posters think the mum or any of us think this is an ideal/fun/exciting situation to be in. I'm not a thug I don't want to have to resort to shouting at or threatening another person let alone putting my hands on them. I guess we just differ on whether its an option - and a last option may i stress before you start misquoting and hounding me again :)
If some of you genuinely could take it - essentially sacrificing your freedom to live without fear for the sake of their sadistic entertainment - fine. Each to their own.
I would adivise rehousing? Will the council help? I hope they will.
Would any of you sell your home and move?

RocketInMyPocket The just children thing is perverse. I suppose they can shit their pants every day and have you wipe their arse because they - like 9 month year olds are just children.

We all know the difference between a teenager and a little child and yet some posters act as though it's the same as slapping a new born around the face. If a woman hit another fully grown woman it would be very unfortunate as well. Violence is always very unfortunate. Some "kids" are scum yes i said it. Some "kids" are rapists, racists, killers and terrorists.

I've said this before and of course it was ignored - Damilola Taylors killers were 12 and 13 at the time. I'm sure his mom would have happily clobbered one of them around the head to deter them from attacking, and thus fatally wounding her precious son if she could have. What are we supposed to do? Wait until the chants turn into actions? Wait until our house burns? Until petrol bombs come through the letter box?

Aside from them being children - can someone honestly answer what you do when you have been forsaken and your life is threatened? Anyone?