...To think the mum who attacked bullies is RIGHT?

[candidkate]

Just read this story

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/i-know-what-wrong-im-8870532

This poor mum has witnessed her DD be bullied for years. 15 school kids had the balls to even show up at her home screaming abuse, threatening to kill her poor DD! She comes home furious and attacks one of them, punching the other who tried to break it up.

I don't condone violence full stop. But these were 14 year old hardly little kids who do not know better. I'm sorry but I'm putting my hands on you before you ever harm my child!

It was a daunting situation - she had even called the police and what did they do? Nothing. Kids are killing themselves while schools and police twiddle their thumbs. Enough it enough!

So in certain circumstances you are allowed to be violent, flout authority and beat people up. And, in certain others you are not. The difference appears to be that the 13 yo is supposed to adhere to the law and not be a vigilante and the 33 yo is allowed to 'lose it' and not be able to control herself. I wonder where these kids got the idea that it's OK to threaten, harass and bully.

The law should deal with the bullies AND the mother.

I don't believe any school , even a really shit one, would ignore a child being beaten to a pulp. I believe the mum is lying to deflect from the fact that she is an adult who attacked and injured a child.

hedgehogsdontbite They have and they will continue to do so. I'ts not as rare as you think it is.
MsTerryPratchett If you could hold your cool after years of people ignored and have your children screaming with eggs being chucked out your house and death threats being shouted at you by 15 children who have tormented your child for years you are an amazing person. Bare in mind she took her daughter out of the school.

There are two sides to every story, and I don't think an adult punching a child in the face is ever the right course of action.

However, I can only imagine how awful it must be to watch your child be mercilessly tormented, assaulted and threatened for years on end. I can also imagine, in the heat of the moment, with younger children screaming in fear, finally snapping and lashing out.

I think the situation, whatever the ins and outs, is pretty horrible for everyone involved, and it sounds like there were repeated failures to address the situation before it escalated so far.

I have come very close to losing control with some of the girls who bully my daughter. DD is no longer in school however we still have problems with the bullies.

My DD was beaten up in school, I have had girls shouting abuse outside our house (including calling my severely disabled son vile names relating to his disability and spitting at us), my DD doesn't go out anymore or use any social network sites but even in the doctor's surgery she was called names by one of the ringleaders.

These people have no fear of police, teachers or any other authorities. The police have been totally useless in our case, one officer inferred that by being 'different' i.e. a goth that DD was bringing it on herself. The school were worse than useless with the counsellor advising my daughter that she needed to change herself and try to become 'popular' to fit into the group who were bullying her. My DD is a quiet, pleasant girl who just wants to be allowed to be who she is and like what she likes.

I certainly don't condone what this woman did, violence is never acceptable but part of me understands as I've come very close to breaking point myself.

candidkate you only have one side of the story. I hate bullies, but a grown woman kicking the shit out of a teenage girl doesnt make the mother a hero in this. I'm sorry but it just doesn't.

Hmm. Ten is the age of criminal responsibility. She's a kid, but frankly, she also needs to be stopped. If anyone threatened my DC in that manner, I'd not just sit on my arse and chat about policies this and policies that.

Having read the Head teacher's comment, I'd say there is definitely much more to this story.

I can understand why she snapped but no, she wasn't 'right' to go after the kids and punch them.

She's basically given her kids the impression that violence solves violence, when in fact it hardly ever does.

I wouldn't be surprised if there is repercussions from this for both her and her family, especially now it's in the news.

*are - not is

My DS was bullied for year. No-one does anything. The school do nothing - to some extent there isn't much they can do. I took him out of school and he practically hid in the house for a year. he still does not go to F/T school.

If those kids had come to the house I might well have done the same.

Would any mother NOT intervene if her child was being beaten? (I know in this case they were inside and physically safe but why should your child be a prisoner?)

No-one is condoning the violence at all but the general debate seems to raising th.e issue of when it is right to intervene. (Police do nothing by the way)

Even if the school didn't do anything the mum could have gone to the police earlier and pressed for assault charges against the girls when they beat her dd up.

There are some schools with so much violence. Teacher's being beaten, kids going in with knives. And so violence outside of school too. Here, people fight to survive. I know. I've been there. All well and good, legal system and police it but quite frankly, it just doesnt work in some parts of the country. Its not right but at the end of the day, these people, kids, parents do what they can to survive.

You'd be the same. If a hunch of kids are waiting with base ball bats to literally, kill your own.

And for a lot of these bullies, the only language they understand is violence. Is there a better way? Maybe, might be too late by then. Your child might not survive a hospital trip.

MrsPeterQuill I agree she isn't a hero but I cannot condemn her

CookieDoughKid I agree. When does it end? When your kid gets punched a little to hard, slips into a coma and dies?

LondonRocks I agree, how can your instinct not kick in and you just go mad? I'd kill someone and I don't say that with pride. But perhaps growing up in working class inner city london and seeing how sadistic and fearless children can really be as hardened me.
I've seen kids pretend to rape other kids and threaten to do the real thing
I've seen kids tell other kids they are going to get AIDS in year ONE
I've seen teachers have a fag in the playground while a child cried after being hit being told "toughen up"
When I was in primary school if someone hit you you were told verbatim "hit them back" by the unqualified, unbothered, chavvy "playground ladies"
This wasn't that long ago....

VivaLeBeaver I promise you a lot of the time nothing gets done I know this for a fact parts of the country are in grave grave trouble regarding anti-social behavior and police incompetence.

My head says it is wrong to hit/punch a 13 year old 'child'
However, in those circumstances when a 'mob' were attacking my child I think my heart and gut feelings would be to lay into them.
They may be children, but they are dangerous and sadistic. You don't have time to psycho analyse them in that situation or offer a softly approach.
I think a mothers instinct is to protect her child. We are not talking about a woman just randomly deciding to pick on and punch a 13 year old.

From some threads on MN I have seen some parents on here cannot control their own 13 year olds, so what chance does a stranger have when they that child is attacking their child.

engeika I agree - the police usually do nothing. When enough kids say nothing happened there already is an issue of insufficient evidence. Furthermore many schools don't even have sufficient CCTV.
I've seen some vile things guys and the perpetrators get off with a tap on the wrist no charges nothing.
I'm proud to be British but I'm not deluded of where we falter in our justice/police/educational departments.
There are too many middle class Highgate/St Pauls mums on here completely out of touch. Get off the tube at Archway instead of Highgate and open your eyes!
Disgusting

Viva the police aren't always interested. I took DD to the doctor and he noted the injuries she had (black eye, clumps of hair missing, finger shaped bruises on her arms and numerous other bruises). We took photographs as well.

The police spoke to the school and then didn't take it any further because there were no adult witnesses and seven girls all saying that DD had attacked them so her word against seven.

They then bragged to all and sundry about how untouchable they are.

The system fails bullied children. My DD stays at home 24/7 while these bullies go on living their lives.

When I was at school - we were supposed to report bullies. Some people did and they got bullied more for 'grassing'.
I found the only way to stop being bullied was to fight back. Bullies want an easy prey, not someone who will go for them.
Not every child CAN fight back and god help them because the adults are crap at sorting bullies out.

People respond differently to threatening situations. The fight or flight response isn't it?

I have autism. I have had to face bullying, aggression, threats and violence my whole life, from both adults and children. I have learnt that my instinctive response to danger is 'flight'. Not just physical flight but mental and emotional flight, by which I mean disappearing inside myself.

Dragzena I agree, there are too many moms on her who are out of touch with what really goes on in Britain.

Candidkate I agree with you. The bullies get away with it and there is no such thing as karma. This woman snapped and lashed out. She was wrong to thump someone but at least that lot won't be coming round to egg the house any more. What a disgusting state of affairs.

The school did absolutely nothing to protect this girl, by the sounds of it and are still taking the stance of nothing to do with us.
They haven't even disclosed their anti bullying policy which is normal under these circumstances.
Just the reaction of don't blame us, absolutely terrible, but can't say as I'm surprised.