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Original poster

To want to flying headbutt DP?!

233 replies

WhingeyMinge · 17/03/2015 21:09

I look after DS (7 months) all day every day and put him to bed every night. I bath him at 7pm, dress and feed him and he's usually asleep in his cot by around 7.30pm. DP gives him lots of kisses before I take him up to bed but when we go up to bed ourselves (usually around 10pm) he is just so noisy and has to kiss DS on the face at least 10 times which wakes him up EVERY SINGLE FRIKKIN NIGHT!! DP then gets in to bed and lays there while I have to get up and try to settle DS because he's now crying his eyes out, this can take about 30 mins or more, which is a lot when I've been up since 6am and just want to get in to bed. It's really winding me up so I've decided to move DS to his own room starting from tonight so that he doesn't have to be disturbed, when I told DP he said "I'm not really happy about you moving him yet, I'll still have to go in and give him a kiss anyway because it's just the way I am and I've always done it"
AAAARRRGGGGHHHH I told him that from now on if he wakes him then he has to stay up with him until he's settled as it's unfair cos I'm really tired and it's also unfair on DS having to be woken every night. Plus he's less likely to re-settle when he realises he's in a different room without us.
He thinks I'm being unreasonable! It's not as if he doesn't kiss him before I take him up to bed in the first place, plus if he really really has to why can't it just be one gentle one that doesn't wake him?! Angry
Who is being unreasonable here? I'm so fed up his selfish attitude!

OP posts:
cleanmyhouse · 17/03/2015 22:58

Wowsers. This thread has unsurprisingly gone wacko.

I'd be inclined to show him this thread so he realises he has been unanimously voted a dick/twat/arse/cock. Then i'd leave him to settle the baby. Forever.

AnyFucker · 17/03/2015 23:03

zoe I am sorry you experienced what you did

whoopsbunny · 17/03/2015 23:05

Look, the joke's been deleted now - so relax. The 'joke' was posted because you were giving the OP a bloody hard time, OK? I didn't think that the hard time you were giving the OP was warranted or justified - it's perfectly clear that she isn't about to domestically abuse her dh.

However, it is clear that his sort of behaviour (waking the baby, sleep depriving the OP) is extremely damaging behaviour - and the OP doesn't seem to feel equipped to deal with it. She's asking him to stop, she's going to move the baby to another room - but he's still going to kiss and wake the baby. That is worth talking about - not the wording of her thread title.

textfan · 17/03/2015 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheoriginalLEM · 17/03/2015 23:19

see, is it me or am i the only person wondering how one actually does a flying headbutt?

DixieNormas · 17/03/2015 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whoopsbunny · 17/03/2015 23:29

There was a poster with the name "bittennipples" - who was censured by another poster because she had been sexually abused, and the NN had reminded her of the abuse.

The poster tried to explain that it was a reference to breastfeeding.

I dunno - sorry for my joke zoe, I would never want to cause another woman distress on here. Ever.

Moln · 17/03/2015 23:31

Choice of wording of the thread aside, OP this is very cruel behaviour from your husband. He understands that waking the baby causes you distress and yet he continues and plans to despite your requests.

He's also manipulating the situation to make you seem the unreasonable one by moving your baby.

On top of that his only input into your sons care appears (from what has been written) to make a show of kissing him. No actual care, just for appearances only.

BlueBananas · 17/03/2015 23:53

Flying headbutt = you run at the person, jump into the air as you approach them and headbutt them in a downwards motion
They fucking hurt

Chillyegg · 18/03/2015 00:12

...getting back to the issue at hand!!

It seems to me your primary carer for the child op! Doesn't seem fair that your doing anything and your DH gets to walk around like lord of the manner waking the kid up as he wishes
Its cruel And unnecessary! He's taking the piss!
He's a twat!

TheSingingMonkey · 18/03/2015 01:49

Also, why are you doing bath and bed every single night? Unless your DH is still out at work then it's entirely bloody lazy of him.

DarthVadersTailor · 18/03/2015 02:04

Flying headbutt? Personally I'd feel like beating him with a baseball bat!!!

As a dad who works FT and has a DP that stays at home all day with the DD I certainly appreciate them doing what she does every day, in fact I feel guilty at times that I can't do more. When I get home I try to do what I can to spend time with DD (she's about 11 weeks) and take some of the pressure off DP, I also know how it feels to want to kiss her all the time because I don't get to see her all day.

But this situation is just borne of pure selfishness and disregard for your child....as far as the OP said in the first post the disturbing is all about HIM and his needs, and as for not even making the effort to calm the child down.....well I'd be livid in your shoes.

Time to take a very firm stance and tell him to stop being such a fucking melt, be reasonable and if he can't then you wake him up at stupid o'clock in the morning so he can't get back to sleep and see how he likes it!!!!

OP you certainly have my sympathies and I hope you manage to get this sorted out Smile

goodnessgraciousgouda · 18/03/2015 04:53

You need to see the bigger picture here I think - your twat of a partner is saying "oh leave them they will settle" and kicking back because he KNOWS that you will get up and deal with it.

leaving your child crying for one night might be very painful for you, but your child isn't ever going to remember it, and it will:

a show your husband he is wrong
b show your partner you are serious about him taking responsibility.

tell him in no uncertain terms that if he insists on waking the baby for his own utterly selfish reasons, because "that's who he is" then it is HIS responsibility to settle them afterwards. Tell him if he goes to bed that if the baby hasn't stopped crying in five minutes then HE will be the one to get up. You won't pander to his selfishness any more.

I'd also point out to him that making a big show of kissing the baby doesnt mesh very well with being fine to let the baby scream alone after being woken up BY HIM.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/03/2015 05:47

Your husband is a selfish fucking bastard who is unnecessarily interrupting your baby's sleep for absolutely no good reason, purely for selfish reasons and to piss you off. Tell him he's interfering with your baby's growth and development. IF you're ever calm enough to speak to him without grinding your teeth, that is.

I had a similar problem with DH when I was moving DS1 to his own room at 6m - I'd be sitting in a dark room, no sound, getting him to sleep and the FUCKING KNOB would insist on coming in to "say goodnight" - to ME. Despite my hissing, vigorous headshaking etc. he would NOT fuck off and just shut the door again, OH no. He did this about 3 times before he learnt not to EVER interfere at bedtime again.

5 years on, DS2 was born - he had forgotten by then of course and tried it once - but never again.

I do a very nice line in murderous death stares, apparently. I'd never actually act on them, but they're scary enough to keep the male wanky selfishness at bay.

BathshebaDarkstone · 18/03/2015 05:52

I'd flying headbutt him if he was my DP. Flowers

BathshebaDarkstone · 18/03/2015 06:05

I third FlabbyMummy! Grin

petalsandstars · 18/03/2015 06:05

The mother of all rows would happen in my house if my DH did this. And he wouldn't be doing it again

slw95xx · 18/03/2015 06:06

Flying headbutt? I'd be burying his body love.
YADNBU.
He's a cunt

SummerHouse · 18/03/2015 06:24

I would rather pull out my eyeballs that wake a 7 month old baby at the time that I, myself want to go to sleep.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/03/2015 06:39

You need help
Wink

Original poster
WhingeyMinge · 18/03/2015 07:08

Do you really think I'm going to headbutt him Zoe? It was just an expression of my annoyance, jeez! I wouldn't harm a hair on his head.

As a few of you have asked, he is otherwise lovely. He's a miserable bastard but generally a nice person, he has 3 other kids with his ex who is stopping him from seeing them out of jealousy that he's moved on (it's been 2 years so far) and he says "I want to kiss him before bed because I used to do it with the other 3" but he doesn't see that he is being unreasonable at all. We had a huge row about it yesterday and didn't speak all day, last night he went to bed without giving him a kiss for the first time ever but told me in bed "it's not fair that I'm not even aloud to give him a kiss now" so he still can't see that he is wrong! Confused
He's self employed so he doesn't work every day, it all depends on how much work he has in, sometimes he can work a full week and some weeks 2 or 3 days, however I'm still usually the one who looks after DS. If he has a day off he will sometimes watch him for a few hours for me to get on with housework but he always has "stuff I need to do as well you know"
We take turns getting up every morning as DS wakes at 6, generally he is a good dad, it's just the waking up thing that really pisses me off.

OP posts:
TheSingingMonkey · 18/03/2015 07:10

Your DP sounds like a twat.

You wake him, you get him back to sleep! Why on earth would you wake a sleeping baby anyway? It's unbelievably cruel and twattish.

And get him to do bedtime! FFS! Does he do anything at all for him, apart from behave like a selfish dick.

chocolatescones · 18/03/2015 07:10

None of this 'get DP to settle him' stuff- don't let him wake your poor baby up in the first place poor little thing! What a dick! How does he not care that he's causing a baby to cry for half an hour a day?!

TheSingingMonkey · 18/03/2015 07:11

He doesn't sound like a good Dad OP. He sounds like he gets away with doing more or less fuck all.

prettywhiteguitar · 18/03/2015 07:15

He sounds like a selfish idiot, whining that he can't wake his baby up ffs