To want to flying headbutt DP?!

[WhingeyMinge]

I look after DS (7 months) all day every day and put him to bed every night. I bath him at 7pm, dress and feed him and he's usually asleep in his cot by around 7.30pm. DP gives him lots of kisses before I take him up to bed but when we go up to bed ourselves (usually around 10pm) he is just so noisy and has to kiss DS on the face at least 10 times which wakes him up EVERY SINGLE FRIKKIN NIGHT!! DP then gets in to bed and lays there while I have to get up and try to settle DS because he's now crying his eyes out, this can take about 30 mins or more, which is a lot when I've been up since 6am and just want to get in to bed. It's really winding me up so I've decided to move DS to his own room starting from tonight so that he doesn't have to be disturbed, when I told DP he said "I'm not really happy about you moving him yet, I'll still have to go in and give him a kiss anyway because it's just the way I am and I've always done it"
AAAARRRGGGGHHHH I told him that from now on if he wakes him then he has to stay up with him until he's settled as it's unfair cos I'm really tired and it's also unfair on DS having to be woken every night. Plus he's less likely to re-settle when he realises he's in a different room without us.
He thinks I'm being unreasonable! It's not as if he doesn't kiss him before I take him up to bed in the first place, plus if he really really has to why can't it just be one gentle one that doesn't wake him?!
Who is being unreasonable here? I'm so fed up his selfish attitude!

Is he really really thick or really really horrible?? There are no other possible explanations for this behaviour

My first MN 'darling'

So what other sociopathic tendencies does he have?

He is an absolute prick to a little baby to deliberately wake him and then leave him to cry.

He is cruel, but he dresses his cruelty up in sentimental bullshit.

The very thought of him makes my skin creep.

Wow. I used to go mental at my DH when he did the washing up too loudly when DS was sleeping. Your DP obviously doesn't give a shit that he's waking him up. What an arsehole.

"A man has been deliberately causing his wife to be sleep deprived for months on end, but the take away one poster gets from reading this is that she should make sure she watches how she expresses her irritation about it?"

I think everyone's got the controlling twat stuff covered, haven't they?

Oh op, I am lost for words!
It's the fact that he says even if you move ds into a different room he'll still go in and kiss him that bothers me. He's being selfish and cruel to both of you and has absolutely no intention of stopping

What is he like the rest of the time? Hugs to you!

He sounds vile. He's not thoughtless, he's actively thinking of ways of inflicting misery not only you but also on his own tiny baby. And, as a PP said, dressing it up as "loving the baby so much he can't not kiss him" or some such sentimental shite.
I'm sorry, OP, I really don't think there's much that can be done here. He sounds fundamentally broken, and unless he's willing to take the time and put in the effort to fix himself, this is only going to get worse for you and your DS.

What happens if you explain he's being unreasonable and to please stop doing it?

I find it very odd he finds waking a sleeping baby up every night ok.

I would kill him.

Make sure that whenever you wake up in the middle of the night you also wake him up by kissing him in a slobbery way.

he has to suffer the consequences of his behaviour.

either he settles ds, or you have to think of some other natural consequence.
eg: you and ds slepp in a locked room away from the twonk
you refuse to do anything for p on the grounds that you are too tired

Wow my first MN hope im doing it right probably not

Oh and it's for zoe not OP. Can I second the suggestion of alarm clock at 3am but then everytime he dozes off give him lots of annoying sloppy kisses. It's irritating being woken up when you're trying to sleep

zoe I'm sorry but I seem to have missed which part of your post is meant to be helpful to an op who is clearly having a difficult time? 99% of us can see she isn't actually planning an act of violence but is just expressing a need for support..

We have a 9 month old dd. If dh was to do what yours is doing I'd be telling him to fuck off. What planet is he from to think it's ok to do this

What a fucking arsewipe. You're a better woman than I am, I would've lost my rag with it after a few days.

Does he actually understand what a dick he's being? Or is he generally a bit thick?

He is being cruel to your son (and you by leaving you to deal with it)

Waking a sleeping baby every night for no reason is evil and cruel.

Zoe comments like that do a grave injustice to actual sufferers of domestic violence. You may think you're making a really deep and profound point, but you're not. At all.

your DP is a prick.

Who gets to decide that Rocket? I don't think I'm doing myself a injustice. Jocularity around domestic violence is all of a piece with the idea that it isn't real violence.

In fairness, this thread would probably be different if the genders were reversed, but I'm not sure that's a really good thing.