To ignore the upstairs neighbour banging on his floor about crying baby

[MrsHende]

Baby hates getting dressed and usually screams her way through the 5-6 minute process. Twice our upstairs neighbours has banged on their floor, presumably because of the noise. Both times were after 7.30 and before 8am, once this morning and once last week, on a week day.

Who IBU?

(My mum thinks I should change the baby in a different room, possibly the best solution for everyone's blood pressure!)

Of course it's rude. And intolerant.

In BabyHende's defence she doesn't scream every morning!

(But she does cry at some point every day! Because she is 5 months old and it's how she tells me how she's feeling...)

I maybe wouldn't say anything actually Hende, are you sure they were actually banging because she was crying and it wasn't a coincidence? Like you say, she's not screaming every morning at awful hours, and they've only banged twice.

The baby can be removed though can't it or sound proofing put up and neighbours of a crying baby need their sleep as much as those of an individual who plays loud music.

BTW The OP INBU

Playing loud music is nothing like a baby crying.

Apply soundproofing? How ridiculous

Today 17:13 Today 17:13 theboatisleaking In sure the neighbours also chose to live in a flat and with that they obviously understand that it's not sound proof. I feel sorry for your kids if u have any U sound like a knob lol

If anyone even dared to bang my floor because of MY innocent baby crying I would be banging something and it wouldn't be a floor

put a note through the door saying that you apologise that sometimes your young baby cries at inconvenient times, and that they can be assured that you dont like it any more than they do, but banging on the floor doesnt stop the baby crying, it just stresses everyone out even more. That you hope this phase wont last long. I would also bung in a box of earplugs and a bottle of wine.

If theyre still cunts after that, theres not much you can do

I used to find the racket of babies screaming extremely irritating and would wonder why on earth the parents didn't just shush the baby up, though I never said anything to anyone about it.

That was more than 20 years ago now, in my pre-children days. Then I had my first baby and realised how deluded and naive I had been to think it was that simple.

Perhaps this neighbour is someone with no experience of babies or young children so thinks that they can simply be silenced on cue.

\i think you have probably hit the nail on the head Topseyt

Hit send too soon. I like Branleuse's suggestions though.

It is probably a good idea to change baby in a different room for now, but if that proves too inconvenient then your passive-aggressive neighbour doesn't get to dictate.

We used to live in a flat. To an extent you do have to get used to the sound of other people and their children in the building. That goes for your neighbour too. Everyone needs to try to be as considerate as possible, but in some circumstances there is only so much you can do (babies crying etc.).

Why is soundproofing a ridiculous idea Fanjo? DH and I seriously considered it when we were looking to start a family (polystyrene tiles or similar) because party wall is thin and neighbour uses a hearing aid which amplifies everything.

We decided not to have DC but that's a different story.

Morgan's Mummy - would you like Morgan to be kept awake night after night, unable to concentrate at school and constantly irritable at home due to neighbour's baby?? It happened to a friend of mine although baby was sibling.

And Fanjo - soundproofing solved the problem. I think they used some sort of polystyrene board.

Because the baby is just crying for a few minutes and is growing up

Morgan and Fanjo... Why are you against soundproofing?? If YOUR baby is disturbing neighbours (and you chose a flat with no soundproofing), it's your responsibility to take action and do something about it! The neighbours are not the ones causing the noise disturbance. And I agree with the poster who said a baby screaming can be just as annoying and disruptive as loud music. Obviously harder to control, but you can still take baby to another room.

We soundproofed our maisonette when DC1 was born (neighbours complained about the noise and they had every right to). We also moved his cot to a different room and apologised profusely. Our baby, our responsibility! They were understanding because we were sympathetic and did all we could to resolve problem...it's horrible to be woken in night or early morn by someone else's kid!

It's not screaming in night. But for a few minutes at 730

Good on you Boat - neighbours are likely to be more tolerant if not disturbed by your baby. Tolerance is a two way thing.

Ahh, the shopping list for a new bundle of joy, Moses basket, booties, baby grows, teddy bear and polystyrene tiles WTF! Babies crying is within the normal range of noises that human beings make and that other human beings need to accept as part and parcel of living in close proximity to others. If a neighbour is that sensitive to noise then the onus is on them to buy the polystyrene tiles or some ear plugs.

ILovePud you've left something off the list.

A chauffeur's peaked cap!

'Why is soundproofing a ridiculous idea Fanjo? DH and I seriously considered it when we were looking to start a family (polystyrene tiles or similar) because party wall is thin and neighbour uses a hearing aid which amplifies everything.'

Tenancy agreement might forbid altering the property like that.

The cheapest, most easily obtainable form of soundproofing, that's definitely allowed in a property without specific permission, regardless of who owns it, is earplugs.

Queenofthevalley- No I wouldn't like it but as a mother I understand that sometimes there's just nothing you can do for them apart from give them a cuddle but you can't physically stop you're child from making noise. I'm not against soundproof but I think the banging on the floor is just aggravating the situation, i know I would respond a lot better if somebody was being polite! Half seven in the morning for a few minutes shouldn't be a massive problem to people who are not selfish, it's not as if it's in the night or continuous, it's a 5 month old baby who doesn't like getting changed.

Cupid, earplugs aren't suitable for everyone, eg if you need to be alert to your own child waking or worry about break-ins. My DH can't wear earplugs because he gets frequent ear infections. And would you tell your kids to wear earplugs every night if neighbours' baby was waking them?

Expat, if tenancy agreement/landlord forbids sound-proofing yet neighbours are being disturbed, maybe it's not a suitable flat to raise children in?
When choosing a place to live you need to consider how suitable it is for your needs and whether you'll disturb others in the building. If you have a baby or noisy child why not find somewhere with decent soundproofing (or the potential to adapt it if necessary)?

The baby is crying in the daytime