To ignore the upstairs neighbour banging on his floor about crying baby

[MrsHende]

Baby hates getting dressed and usually screams her way through the 5-6 minute process. Twice our upstairs neighbours has banged on their floor, presumably because of the noise. Both times were after 7.30 and before 8am, once this morning and once last week, on a week day.

Who IBU?

(My mum thinks I should change the baby in a different room, possibly the best solution for everyone's blood pressure!)

Maltesers might work better

I'm not saying that the decision to put a relative in a home should be dictated by a neighbour. I'm saying that the neighbour's health matters.

Christ almighty, listening to a few minutes of a baby crying is so extremely unlikely to cause a person health issues that I'm actually flabbergasted it's been mentioned so often on this thread.

So am I Cupid.

Sleep deprivation night after night is another matter though.

Saturday is my morning off. Being woken before 8 every Saturday by 5 minutes of screaming baby would really get to me.

Well unfortunately, the baby isn't aware of that. And in all likelihood, the parent is probably doing all they can to calm it. Get some earplugs.

I thought about getting ear plugs when living in student digs but was worried about not hearing smoke alarm. Has anyone else had experiences if this?'

You can still hear the alarm. With earplugs AND a loud fan at full pelt (I even put a wool blanket over my fan so it's even more of a white noise).

When you live in a flat, there's going to be noise from other people, washing machines, hoovers, dishwashers, even babies crying.

As long as it constitutes 'normal household living', then being noise sensitive is one's own lookout.

If your health is being 'jeopardised' due to flat living and you cannot afford to live in a detached home, a motohome or similar, I suggest you see a doctor about some strategies to help you cope.

You are responsible for your own health. If you are having that much trouble sleeping, you need to see a doctor.

I did. I've always been noise sensitive, but having PTSD really compounded this.

So I saw a doctor and got some help developing strategies to help me.

Not expect my neighbours in a flat to dance round my own issues.

Our toddler now awakes at 5.10am every morning got the habit from next door's newborn. They have moved out but our toddler still wakes up. It's part of living in a confined/attached home whether it is flat/terrace/semi etc. It is annoying but it's part of life unless you live somewhere detached/less populated/remote. Fact is that babies cry, don't come with a mute button or a computerised body clock, so as annoying as it is for the neighbour, he is being a prat.

We all do things that neighbours might be disturbed by if the walls are thin. Watching TV, hoovering, listening to music, mowing the lawn. If you're a considerate neighbour you try to avoid upsetting others. Watching action films in bed at 10pm might be normal life. If you know there's a baby in the flat above you might lower the volume just like their parent might dress them in another room so the five minutes of screaming doesn't disturb you.

DH is using a fucking loud drill, at the moment.

Shall I send him round?

DS1 and I have noise sensitivity, too, but we need a new bathroom door frame. There's a pair of ear defenders available, if it gets too much for anyone.

Is there a particular reason you have to dress the baby at 7.30am? Could you not just change him/her a bit later if that's what causes the crying?

Just a suggestion, but maybe you could introduce a song you sing just before you change your baby?

My dd responds very well to songs, and if I sing the 'bath time' song then she knows what's coming and is more accepting. Same with the 'time to clean your hands' song. Very rare to get tears anymore, but then she may have just grown out of the phase.

Moving room will help the neighbour but isn't helping your baby to not be upset.

Did not expect such a big response when I checked in again this afternoon!!

Some interesting replies.

I don't know much about the neighbours. I think it's a flat share, two guys and a girl. All in their twenties. I don't know what they do for a living so no idea if any of them work shifts.

As I said earlier, I will move from the living room if the baby starts her screaming again too early in the morning. I would happily change her later in the day but don't want her wearing poo covered pjs all morning!

Will definitely consider sending up a creme egg .

As lots of you have said, the banging didn't help at all, and just added a lot of stress to an already stressful time.

Thank goodness she isn't colicky or refluxy.

Must admit, I didn't consider my neighbour 's health when planning to have our babies.

If they are only in their 20s then 7.30 on a weekend morning would feel very early.

It feels early to me too and I'm in my late thirties and the child's mother !

I would rather a baby upstairs then the boots walking prick who lives above me. What takes the piss is she will bang on the floor at me when my tv is on and shes ready to go bed at 9pm but she can walk around in boots all day.
Your neighbour is rude, i dont get the logic of banging on the floor what makes them think you will stop just because they bang on the floor?
Dont move your baby anywhere he can go fuk himself, maybe he should learn to speak or write a polite note.

They can just roll over and go back to sleep.

I think you are making big assumptions if they have only ever banged on the floor twice though, as presumably your baby cries multiple times each day? Maybe they are just noisy getting out of bed or doing something else that causes banging? If they were that annoyed by the noise, surely they would bang every day?

Maybe you should go up and ask them- you might find there is some other explanation for the banging, and this will make you feel less stressed?

Tell them to shut up and deal with it or move into a house where they won't have to listening neighbours if u live in a block of flats then it's obvious people will hear each other and as for people saying change baby in another room I think you're aload of dicks to be honest, change your baby wherever is most comfortable for baby. Adults can learn to shut up and put up when an innocent child is distressed! The absolute cheek ( noise sensitive or not that is ridiculous)

Cupid I'm with you 100 percent, get some ear plugs or better still appreciate the fact you have your hearing unlike some

And why would the baby be any less comfortable being changed in a different room??

A baby crying is not something you can stop or something you are doing on purpose. Hence there is no point in complaining as it won't achieve anything,unlike asking someone to turn music down.

They are only banging when the baby is being changed... so yes you should change her in another room since she is obviously waking them up! Flats are not ideal choices for ppl with babies... but you chose to live there, so you need to do everything you can to stop your baby disturbing neighbours.

I don't think banging on floor is rude... why should they have to get out of bed, get dressed, come downstairs to knock on your door and speak to you in person to tell you you're making too much noise? It's your baby, your responsibility!! Banging on floor/wall is just a way of indicating 'this noise is unacceptable please do something about it'. I agree a note through your door would have been more polite but if she screams every morning at this time your neighbours are understandably fed-up!!