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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore the upstairs neighbour banging on his floor about crying baby

420 replies

MrsHende · 14/03/2015 08:04

Baby hates getting dressed and usually screams her way through the 5-6 minute process. Twice our upstairs neighbours has banged on their floor, presumably because of the noise. Both times were after 7.30 and before 8am, once this morning and once last week, on a week day.

Who IBU?

(My mum thinks I should change the baby in a different room, possibly the best solution for everyone's blood pressure!)

OP posts:
fluffymouse · 14/03/2015 10:42

Neighbour is unreasonable as she should knock on your door and have a polite conversation if the noise bothers her. Banging on floor is extremely childish.

Sounds like you have found a good solution op. I am with the majority who believe that baby crying is a normal household noise. Most of their crying cannot be predicted, and I certainly never thought of complaining when my downstairs neighbours had a baby when I lived in a flat.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2015 10:46

More like the neighbour thinks they are the centre of the universe

ProudAS · 14/03/2015 10:55

I thought about getting ear plugs when living in student digs but was worried about not hearing smoke alarm. Has anyone else had experiences if this?

Andrewofgg · 14/03/2015 10:57

Change rooms if you can. If your delightful neighbours still bans ignore them.

vegplotter When you have invented your volume control for babies can you please create the Fast Forward button for adults?

Bunbaker · 14/03/2015 11:25

Smoke alarms are very loud. I don't think there is an ear plug that would completely deaden the noise of one.

QueQuesto · 14/03/2015 11:40

Your neighbour is BU, babies and toddlers cry/scream sometimes, until they are old enough to reason with it's unavoidable.

RavioliOnToast · 14/03/2015 11:46

I'd be tempted to have a big broom to hand to bang back...

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 14/03/2015 11:54

When did we become so intolerant of children that we started thinking of their existence as merely a 'lifestyle choice'? Babies are people. Would you all be berating someone for say, caring for an elderly relative with dementia who once or twice a day shouted? It's out of their control, and is caring for them a lifestyle choice too?

Babies make noise. Babies are people. If you don't like people, that's your problem. Buy some ear plugs.

JudgeyHotPants · 14/03/2015 12:01

I'm often amazed at how intolerant many posters are on here.

When you live in close proximity to others you have to expect some noise, normal neighbourly noise. Things like banging doors, DIY, cars starting,, children playing and yes babies crying. Loud dance music blasting out at 3am is anti social, a dog being allowed to bark constantly at all hours is anti social but a crying baby isn't IMO. 7.30 am is not that early. You'd have to be an epic twat to complain about a baby crying anyway, but at that time of day they need to get a life.

People are going on about parents of young children thinking they are the centre of the universe on here, but in my experience so do shift workers. Normal daily life doesn't stop just because they are on nights, get some ear plugs and stop thinking the world revolves around you.

I don't have children either, so am not really biased.

BlueBananas · 14/03/2015 12:04

Eurgh we used to have neighbours that used to bang on baby's bedroom wall every time she cried in the night! Like that would help settle an already distressed child Hmm
Your neighbour is being a knob and I would have no hesitation in going up and telling him so either

Bunbaker · 14/03/2015 12:13

"I'm often amazed at how intolerant many posters are on here."

I'm not. I think quite often parents of young children become immune to the amount of noise their children make and are unaware of how it affects others.

We now have the opposite problem of having a teenager who doesn't get out of bed before lunch on non schooldays Grin

Can I borrow your baby OP?

ProudAS · 14/03/2015 12:15

An elderly person with dementia should not be disturbing neighbours at all hours any more than a baby should. OK so they can't help making noise but the neighbours can't help them making it either. I can see how the situation can be difficult but making another person ill is not the answer.

Tolerance is one thing - being sleep deprived to the point of your own health suffering is another.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2015 12:17

What should the carer do?

uglyswan · 14/03/2015 12:32

Baby is being unreasonable. Should dress herself in complete silence and then tiptoe out to put on coffee.

trufflesnout · 14/03/2015 12:33

I have knocked on our next door neighbours wall gently at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6am consecutively on some nights. Their baby just wants attention, his room is the other side of mine and when I gently tap the wall his cry gets much softer and then he settles. Sometimes I have tapped and then heard his parents come in, so god knows what they think of me.

But yes, it is very very irritating. Esp in that case because the baby just wants attention and you know how quickly the parent could be remedying it. Just to again bring up the point that you have no idea what the neighbour may or may not be up to, inc shift work, and that, ultimately, having a baby does not trump someone else's right to peace.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2015 12:36

The parent is probably remedying it as quickly as they can. If you are very sleep deprived sometimes it takes a while to wake up.

trufflesnout · 14/03/2015 12:44

I know. But it doesn't make it less irritating for me, esp as he wakes me up fine. Although I am more accustomed to less sleep since my OH is very unwell and needs a lot of care. I quite like knowing that my tapping settles him for a bit until his mum gets there, but I know they must have heard me sometimes and I do wonder if they think I'm an anti social lunatic Grin

ProudAS · 14/03/2015 12:44

I'm not saying it's easy Fanjo but don't think that jeopardising another person's health (carer or neighbour) is the answer.

When my gran developed dementia she went into a home. It was a lovely place and my grandad was so much better for not having to care for her and getting a good night's sleep without being disturbed.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2015 12:48

I think you'll find putting your relative with dementia in a home is a very painful and personal decision and not one that can be dictated by a neighbour.

butterfly2015 · 14/03/2015 12:56

Drop a note t thigh his door saying:

I assume from your banging on the floor that you are not happy about my baby crying in the morning. To try and prevent further disruption I will change her in a different room from now on. Please find enclosed a set of ear his and a creme egg by way of apology from my baby.

butterfly2015 · 14/03/2015 12:57

Ear plugs*

trufflesnout · 14/03/2015 12:59

Oh my god someone got the creme egg thing on this thread. Gutted it wasn't me Sad

butterfly2015 · 14/03/2015 13:03

This is the second one I've got it on. It's become something of a mission.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2015 13:05

Or send him two as ear plugs

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2015 13:06

Mini creme eggs