Mothers Day

[ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed]

Its my first Mothers Day with my dd (after serious fertility issues, she was a long time coming) and I would like our lunch out to be just me my husband and our dd (we would visit pil and my mum later that day) My mil wants us all to go out together which would include
my pil and my mum. My husband thinks we should but I dont want to. AIBU?

I have celebrated Mother's day with MIL every year. We all go out for lunch together - it's quite nice and it kills two birds with one stone. It's not the competition wife vs MIL that many seem to go in for on MN.

Difficult one as theres alot of mums here...discuss this with dh and reach an agreement. Its my first mothers day too after a long time waiting for her, but my dd is too young to understand. Personally i dont see it as a big thing as its mothers day every day in my eyes.

As the cranberries said....

Sabzil said it better!!

YANBU. It's your first Mothers Day after struggling to conceive so why shouldn't you enjoy it how you want to.
Same for Christmas Day, we stayed at home after the children were born, anyone was welcome to come to ours but it was too much hassle to take all of the kit and caboodle for the baby so we stayed home. My daughter does the same with her dc, we get invited to spend the day with them and we love it.

I agree with everything Worra has said.
I never understand why women think they should become their partner's main focus on mother's day. It's a day for him to show appreciation of his mother and when you appreciate your own mother. That shouldn't change because it's your own first year as a mum.
It's one day a year for his mum and yet she doesn't deserve that any more?

YANBu but I've basically given up on Mother's Day for myself. My mum expects it to be her day. I think your compromise was a good one, bear in mind that the grandparents will be very excited about your little one though and want these family occasions more and more.

This thread is actually hilarious. Can't believe some of the replies here!

OP your not being unreasonable. I'd see the point if you weren't going to see MIL at all. Perhaps some people on here are MIL themselves hence the 'MIL trumps all' attitude!!

Can't believe some of these replies

OP you are most definitely not being unreasonable. Its your first one you should cherish it.

Your mil has had decades of it. Its completely selfish not to appreciate its a special day for you.

Totally agree current mothers are equal it's not just for mothers and mils because they have been a mother longer! I work two jobs do majority of home care but seriously that doesn't mean I am less entitled to some time to be appreciated as a mother to my two children just because my MIL is older, it's perfectly reasonable if you have offered to see her either side

YANBU, it's your first Mother's Day (as with your first family Christmas), spend it as you choose. Your DH can see his DM later in the day. Next year, I'd think about sharing it with a meal for your mum and his PIL.

Mariposa, OP said she would see PIL and her mum later in the day, what's so wrong about wanting a meal with just her family unit on her first Mother's Day? She's a new mother who has waited long enough for her first child.

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT This family is no longer brand new, the dilemma no longer exists....

FFS! I've just read the lot. Why can't there be a warning that stays on Zombie threads

Why not go for a meal as a 3some on the Saturday? It will be cheaper and better anyway.

Then do a bigger family meal on the Sunday (or even better, another Sunday when it will be better service and not a rip-off).

Can't understand the going out for lunch on Mother's Day thing - just plays into the hands of the restaurateurs who shove up their prices and provide under-par food.

Oh for goodness sake. Oh well if anyone else is reading with the same dilemma this year!

ZOMBIE THREAD