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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers Day

367 replies

ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 09/03/2015 16:07

Its my first Mothers Day with my dd (after serious fertility issues, she was a long time coming) and I would like our lunch out to be just me my husband and our dd (we would visit pil and my mum later that day) My mil wants us all to go out together which would include
my pil and my mum. My husband thinks we should but I dont want to. AIBU?

OP posts:
slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:08

Yes I didn't say op's mil wasn't normal.

The fact that she is ok with her idea not happening, shows she is.

Someone who took offence, or said op shouldn't be celebrating etc, that is slightly less normal.

slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:10

see, this any sodding day you fancy celebrating your dc's existence to me reads as really harsh.

I fancy celebrating the fact that my dc exist and I'm able to be a mother to them, on Mothers Day.

Weirdly, my mum seems to agree. Never ran it by mil.

Mummyusername · 10/03/2015 16:10

I think Mother's Day is about showing appreciation for one's mother. Surely you and your partner have every day to spend time together relishing the fact that you have a child but not every day for your partner to makes a fuss of his Mum? That's why there's one specific day for it.
Yabu

Original poster
ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 10/03/2015 16:11

If you cant see whats dumbass about a MOTHER being told she shouldnt have a MOTHERS day because a baby doesnt count then I really cannot be fucked to indulge you anymore.

OP posts:
Behindthepaintedgarden · 10/03/2015 16:11

You have put it so much better than I ever could Hesterton.

pictish · 10/03/2015 16:12

You're simply making yourself seem more and more self absorbed with each post OP.

slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:13

gently teach children not to take their mums for granted

But only once they are 4 years old?

So many contradictory messages in this thread.

Original poster
ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 10/03/2015 16:13

Mummysusername, my dh sees his mum everyweek, in fact several times a week so can 'make a fuss' of her those days just as much as I get to be with dd.

OP posts:
AlPacinosHooHaa · 10/03/2015 16:14

You're simply making yourself seem more and more self absorbed with each post OP

And your making yourself sound like an insensitve ass with each post.

TheRealMaryMillington · 10/03/2015 16:15

haven't RTFT, will do in a min

I think YABU, big time

As I posted on another thread I'v recently revised my opinion of all pointless made-up holidays - I think we should all grasp any little opportunity for joy or celebration or connectedness no matter how silly. And therefore you should do stuff with your mum and his mum.

Being generous will make you much happier than not, in the long term. And it will stop you turning into the person who expects the world to turn around you.

Do something with the grannies, and do it with love. It's not ALL DAY after all.

hesterton · 10/03/2015 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Behindthepaintedgarden · 10/03/2015 16:15

Slithy,

If you and the OP want to make Mothers' Day all about yourselves and your children then that's your privilege.
If other posters feel that is not really in the spirit of Mothers Day then that is a valid view too and they're entitled to express it without constant snide responses from you.

pictish · 10/03/2015 16:16

I'd stay to back and forth with you Al, but alas swimming lessons call.

Original poster
ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 10/03/2015 16:17

So be it then pictish. Im tired of going over and over. My mil is happy, im happy dh is happy and so is my mother. To me that is the end of the matter. Thanks for all the replies mumsnetters. I see no need for me to continue with this.

OP posts:
CrystalCove · 10/03/2015 16:18

OP no-one I feel has actually said you shouldnt be "entitled" to a Mothers Day just because your child is young, just that its a bit different when they are actually old enough to show their appreciation. No-one has said having a baby "doesnt count". Confused

Notonthestairs · 10/03/2015 16:19

So OP gets to celebrate Mothers Day for a couple of hours her preferred way AND the Mil will be seeing her child on Mothers Day too.
It's all good people - relax!

AlPacinosHooHaa · 10/03/2015 16:20

So be it then pictish. Im tired of going over and over. My mil is happy, im happy dh is happy and so is my mother

Brilliant and so it should be. Have a wonderful day, everyone is happy Smile

hesterton · 10/03/2015 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:22

Behind, I posted several times what I would like for Mother's Day.
A child free lie in. So you are outright lying that I want it all to be about me :)

Just because I don't want what op wants, doesn't mean I dont understand. and I really don't think I've been snide.

Crystal, worra did say that.

slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:25

DS is at nursery this year hesterton, he is nearly two. So doesn't comprehend Mother's Day. Yet I am very much looking forward to seeing what he brings home. For christmas it was a handprint calendar, just lovely.

Hope noone tells the nursery he is too young to appreciate it and therefore shouldn't make anything. And yes behind, now I'm being snide.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 10/03/2015 16:26

Good grief!! So glad my Mother has never given a flying Fuck about MD and has just been content to get a card and flowers from me. And it's rubbed off on me and I feel exactly the same.

Behindthepaintedgarden · 10/03/2015 16:27

How is a child free lie on not making it all about you Confused.

Nothing wrong with that by the way . But your posts suggested that you didn't agree with the view that Mother's Day is not really about celebrating your own motherhood, but about showing appreciation to your mother.

slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:31

I think there is ample room for both.

And my DH gets a child free lie in every Sunday. If me having one on Mother's Day is making it all about me (while he was with his own mum for instance?) then fine, I'll take that criticism.

slithytove · 10/03/2015 16:32

As it stands, neither of us can celebrate with our mums.

So it seems to please some posters, we should let the day pass unremarked.

Shame.

CrystalCove · 10/03/2015 16:33

I dont think Worra did though, its just a different way from how you - and obviously the OP view Mothers Day and the link to "celebrate". Mine are 21, 12 and 7 and I enjoy MD in different ways now they are all old enough to actually do or say something. That no means diminishes being a Mother of a baby at all - I just remember those MDs as being pretty different thats all. I didnt feel the need to "celebrate" being a Mother either. Im lots of things as well and to me MD is about my relationship with my children and following on from that the day is about my relationship with my children - relationships take more than one person by the definition of the word - and of course I had a relationship with them when they were tiny but its not the same to me.