my dp NEVER tips

[suzzieanneba46]

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

So you go to a fast food restaurant. You are a big group and order a large order that you have to wait for. Till staff askyou to sit down and they'll bring out your food when it is ready. The lobby staff open a closed dining area for you, help you to settle there with the kids, get balloons/crayons for them. Your food is brought out when cooked along with extras that you didnt ask for like sauces, that the staff member could get into trouble for handing out willy nilly. People going way above what their job is, to make sure the family is happy.

How is that not even slightly comparable to an average waiting staff member, who gets a tip automatically, not because they have gone 'above and beyond'?

Back in the day, i did also take dessert orders at the table and take the payment up to the till, bringing the dessert out to the table.

One last thing in my rant
90% (made up stat, but it is a very large amount) of people in fast food restaurants dont put their own rubbish in the bin, re 'dirty plates are collected'

Stinkers Wait staff in restaurants are constantly offering you drinks, sides, desserts because they are trying to sell you more food .

Anyway, that is part of the job that they are already being paid to do. As others have said, there are many other jobs that are at least as hard as waiting tables and attract the same wage, but little or nothing in the way of tips.

What about care workers who rush from house to house to feed, dress and wash elderly or disabled people for minimum wage, if they are lucky, because their employers claim that travelling time between houses is not part of their job .

And I am at those saying if you cant afford to leave a tip, you shouldnt eat out. Why shouldnt low paid people be able to eat out and why should they be giving extra to someone who earns the same or more than them due to being tipped?

And chefs dont always get paid a lot more. Sometimes they are also on minimum wage. Even experienced staff will probably be on 16 to 20k pa and for that they will be working well over full time, so their hourly rate is probably minimum wage or less.

And they are at least as responsible for your experience as they are actually making your food, rather than merely asking what you want and bringing it to you.

When I eat out, it is the food and the company that is the most important part of the experience.

Service is also important, but the act of taking orders, bringing the food in a timely fashion and more or less all at the same time, occasional offering of drinks but not intrusively, bringing the bill when asked and bringing any change back in a timely manner, not taking ages in the hope that you will just give up and leave, is a fairly basic expectation so just part of the job, certainly not 'above and beyond and worthy of extra payment'.

I live in a tourist place, but only the odd few people tip. People haven't got the money. I have done lots of jobs in my younger days such as bar, waitressing, chambermaiding but rarely would anyone get tips. You could tell they were the loaded ones if they did. London is different as nearly everyone is well off.

I would never expect a tip off anyone. Dh does a job now that involves tips, but most people pay on card. Only much older, clearly well off people tip. Some of the comments on this thread are deluded.

My DP never does either, ever. My sister is to the other end of the scale and will always tip generously regardless of the service received! I will if the service has been great.

As well even though the richer ones do tip. In general the poorer ones are nicer people who talk to you, and treat you live a normal person. I would rather have that and no tip tbh.

we very rarely tip because the wages for the staff is already built into the price of the food you have eaten. YOU are already paying the wages of the staff working there - the owner of the establishment doesn't magic their wages out of thin air...

just because someone brings your food to you, drinks to you and takes your plates away doesn't mean they should automatically get a tip - that's the very least I expect them to do - after all that's why I go to a restaurant instead of cooking at home.

as for the mcdonalds thing - its not self service - you don't get your food from the kitchen, you don't pour your own drinks, you don't get your own ice cream/desert etc. etc.

I really wish that there was a hard and fast rule. I don't like tipping because I like to know what I am paying and I don't tip in shops so why in a restaurant? I went for lunch with a couple of friends this week. Food was good, service was ok. When we walked in there was no one to greet us but the waitress was ok when she showed up, did the usual asking if e everything was ok, brought out meals and drinks when asked. Did not engage in any other way. We probably rounded the bill up but why should we leave a tip? She didn't make us feel special, wasn't particularly welcoming, she just effected the transaction.
It is not fair to suggest that people shouldn't eat out if they don't tip.
What should happen is that waiting staff should get decent wages, it isn't an easy job but I don't see it as my responsibility to top up their wages. I do tip if service is particularly great though. But only if I feel like it.
If there was a rule I would just stick to it. I really object to sweeping a service charge already on the bill though, that is really cheeky.

I tip, around 15% in a restaurant. I have a friend who thinks £1 is a reasonable tip regardless of what meal she's had. This is not a person in any way strapped. I don't like gong to eat with her.

I didn't say that low paid people shouldn't eat out. I said that if you are too skint to be able to leave a small tip then maybe you shouldn't be eating out, as you obviously can't afford to do so. Eating out is a treat not a protected human right!

Almost all restaurants in London where we live automatically add a 12.5% service charge, so no I don't tip another 12.5%. Otherwise I would be adding almost 1/3 to food bill every time

Shocked at the If you cant afford to tip dont go out comments. Bet the restaurants and pubs wouldnt like that!!! We have had a live in hotels (very unstable dh job two years ago) and believe me if we hadnt gone out we dont eat. Do have one lovely person at a bed and breakfast we stayed at cook us a pasta meal.

I think being tight with money is deeply unattractive and it would put me off someone tbh.

I'm another one with a generous DH who tips heavily, although I think it's more because he is uncomfortable with being "served" - he once rented a flat which included a cleaner and was one of those people who cleaned before the cleaner arrived

We went out for breakfast once and it was obvious he wanted more coffee but wasn't ordering it, I asked why and he said it was because the waitress who was serving was really heavily pregnant and she "looked tired" - he didn't want to ask her to go back to the kitchen.

Meanness is very unattractive but I think kindness is one of the best qualities a partner can have and kindness is usually connected to generosity, IMO.

I always tip, unless the service charge is included.

I also tip taxi drivers and hairdressers.

When I was younger I would very rarely tip. Mainly because the sort of places I'd go to eat were the kind of places where you get your dinner carried from the kitchen to your table, end of. If the waiting service is limited to purely that then I don't think that is worthy of a tip. If we'd been really looked after, with advice, or changes to the menu etc then yes I'd tip.

My stance hasn't really changed, except that now I have DC I'm always tipping to compensate for the mess/noise my kids have made!!

When I was a waitress I earned £3.30 an hour. The lowest paid kitchen worker earned £4.70. We did share tips though.

I always tip in restaurants, although it's less if service is included. I would be very unimpressed at someone who didn't, unless the service is bad.

The last tipping thread I read on here had one poster who said she and her party left a penny tip after a meal. For such rudeness and social ineptitude as that, I'd dump a partner on the spot.

you are not allowed to accept tips or gifts from the customers if you work in a supermarket or you werent when I worked for a few.

As for anyone who says don't eat out if you cant afford to tip. Oh please. Really?

Can you imagine if everyone on a low income did that. The pubs and restaurants would be empty. I bet you lot are mostly well off and can afford to tip.

I do tip now and again. Especially if I have had good service. I only tipped 2 pounds once and it was gratefully received along with an apology from me that it wasnt more but I was skint. She said dont be silly its still very thoughtful thank you.

If a service charge included I don't tip. If there is no service charge I usually do leave something but not 10%. Will only leave more if the waiter/waitress really has to put themselves out more than usual. I don't doubt the work is hard. All jobs that involve dealing with the public are hard.

Hairdresser.....I don't go that often but if I'm spending £80-£100 I'm not tipping sorry. Especially when they try to push 'products'. The young lad tried a proper sales pitch last time I went. He wanted to know which 'product' I use.........Whatever is on offer at Asda was the answer.

Taxi.....Have only used a taxi a handful of times. The last time was to get DS4 to A&E. The fare came to £14 and I gave driver a £20 note. I was more bothered about getting DS through the door than waiting for my change.

I do tip the postman at Christmas. He's out in the cold and rain and has been bitten by dogs several times. That's hard work IMO.

To the previous posters who said 'If you can't afford to tip don't eat out'. I'm guessing some establishments would shut if that were to happen. Poor people still pay the bill!

To the previous posters who said 'If you can't afford to tip don't eat out'. I'm guessing some establishments would shut if that were to happen. Poor people still pay the bill!

I don't get this statement. Are you saying that people have a duty to go to restaurants and eat so that they stay open even if they can't afford to do so? I don't spend money on treats unless I can afford to do so but it would appear that many people don't do this after reading this thread!

"As for those that say they work in supermarkets or whatever, and they aren't tipped. Well... that's life... it's never going to change, waiting staff get tips, and if you feel that strongly, you should get a waiting job! "

But surely the exact same argument can be used to counter this or the "if you can't afford to leave a tip don't eat out/ you should factor the tip into the cost of the meal when you're eating out" line of argument.

If these staff feel so strongly that they should earn more than minimum wage then go get a job that pays it or if they want an easier minimum wage job go get one.

Not that I hold that view, but surely it's the logical counterpoint to any argument like the ones above.

Non tipper here btw just to out my bias

Nobody is saying that anyone has a duty to go to restaurants, people are responding to your suggestion that anyone who can't afford to tip shouldn't be eating out. What complete tosh. So if i've saved a tiny portion of my weekly money for 6 weeks so that my family can eat out as a treat, and i've already prepped the kids and said we can't afford desserts so please don't ask, I should also be saving just that bit extra so I can tip someone who is already being paid? I don't think so.

I don't tip because taxi / cab driver, hairdressers, waiters / waitresses all have an income larger than mine.

My mother was in hospital once, defying death, and when she recovered, my stepfather took in a dozen bottles of wine to the ward. He thought it would work out at one for each worker who's helped my mother. He was told that they couldn't accept such a gift but I think all the bottles went to a raffle or something like that unless there was someone who liked his cheapo wine.

I don't tip for normal expected service. I tip for fantastic service.

The best server at my local left he used to earn a fortune in tips from us regularly but the restaurant dropped their food standards so he left and we have stopped going as most of their waiting staff are teens who look like they couldn't careless. Our old guy would easy get a £50 tip when there was 7 of us as he was very attentive, would engage with the children ect birthday meals he would section off part for us without us asking and we would get to jump the waiting list for que times. It pays to tip fantastic service like that.

I would factor in a small tip always unless the service is rubbish