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AIBU?

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Original poster

my dp NEVER tips

483 replies

suzzieanneba46 · 05/03/2015 06:13

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

OP posts:
CatsCantTwerk · 05/03/2015 07:26

If service is good I always tip but I wouldn't expect the waiter/waitress who I tipped to share it with kitchen staff. I've never heard of tipping kitchen staff.

Same as takeaway delivery drivers, I wouldn't expect them to take their tip back and share with the chefs Confused

Your dp is bu.

Whocansay · 05/03/2015 07:27

I hope you aren't going back to the same places, as if you are, I suspect your meal will be liberally coated with saliva by pissed off waiting staff.

If he didn't like his job, he should have changed.

You go to a restaurant, you tip (unless service is bad). He sounds like a prince!

LaLaLaaaa · 05/03/2015 07:27

My dh works in hospitality and tips make up his salary. Jan/feb we always struggle because people tip less. He does declare his tips.

If you have terrible service obviously don't tip. But if service has been good it is very rude not to - if you can't afford to tip then you shouldn't be eating out. It's part of the deal to tip 10%. It's extremely difficult working in hospitality.

Oh and kitchen staff do get tips - 10% from each server. So not sure why your dh didn't get them but perhaps it's time for him to let that particular grudge go?

Stinkersmum · 05/03/2015 07:30

I always tip unless I'm dissatisfied with the service I've received. And I will quite happily admit to judging people who don't. What's wrong with you? Do you get off on being mean? Or are you proud of being a tightwad? Are you the kind of person that waits for the 15p change from a £65 bill?

CakeEqualsCurves · 05/03/2015 07:31

I asked in a restaurant once wether the chefs get tips. The manager said no because they are on a much higher wage. Waiting staff were on a shit wage so tips were theirs.

CatsCantTwerk · 05/03/2015 07:32

Yes Rascalls3, I always tip my hairdresser too, I felt really sorry for her at christmas though, I took her a bottle of wine (I knew her bf had just been sacked and she was in a pretty shit place just before christmas) She was really grateful and the bottle was on her work station, Just as I was leaving her boss whipped it away into the back room and said 'thanks for the wine'. I was mortified but didn't have the balls to say anything. My stylist's face dropped.

TiltedPenguin · 05/03/2015 07:32

I wouldn't judge somebody who didn't tip, but I can't bear people who go on about not tipping. If anyone dares to suggest tipping or tries to put down a tip in front of FIL, he gets very aggrieved. And god forbid that any restaurant puts a service charge on the bill (even when we've booked for large groups and the charge is advised in advance) - he is so rude to the waiting staff. It's mortifying. Tip or not tip, just be quiet about it!

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 07:33

If you are that skint that you can't afford to leave a small tip then maybe you shouldn't be eating out.

avocadotoast · 05/03/2015 07:35

I had an ex who never tipped; his argument was that he didn't get tips at work so why should waiting staff. My argument back was that he had a piss easy job working in a high street computer game shop and didn't get paid minimum wage.

I always tip if I can, rarely more than 10% though. If the service has been shit I don't bother, and I don't bother if it's the kind of place where you do a lot of work yourself (ie. ordering at the bar, fetching own cutlery etc).

LongDistanceLove · 05/03/2015 07:35

In America I will tip because those servers are getting paid $2 an hour and they make their money from tips.

Here not so much, in my eyes as a retail worker I don't get tipped for providing a service, ours get paid at least min wage now as it became illegal to make up min wage with tips a few years ago.

2fedup · 05/03/2015 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chiefbrody · 05/03/2015 07:41

I do not tip, I pay what I am charged.

Lots of people do not get tips shop workers for example most are on minimum wage dont get tips.

jammietart · 05/03/2015 07:46

I always tip. My Granma was a waitress and I remember her coming home and counting her tips . She relied on them. I agree with whoever said if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to eat out.

googoodolly · 05/03/2015 07:46

I don't tip in the UK unless service is exceptional. Wait staff make at least minimum wage as it's illegal to pay them any less. I also make minimum wage and work retail and fresh food. I cannot accept tips and I think it's throughly unfair that some
places can but others cannot.

In the US it's different as they get paid under minimum wage as tips are expected to make up their pay (I don't agree with that but I'm not going to take my political beliefs out on some poor waiter/waitress).

mommy2ash · 05/03/2015 07:49

to those saying they tip to make up their wages. that isn't your responsibility as a customer. here we Have minimum wage and plenty of people work hard in minimum wage jobs Without tips. this custom only makes sense in America where they are truly paid a pittance. a lot of restaurants have service charges included so why would you then pay more again

Torwood · 05/03/2015 07:55

It would be a relationship deal breaker for me. I would wonder what else he was stingy and uptight about. I used to have a friend like this and she would also moan about stopping in costa when you can make a cup if tea at home. She was forever commenting on how much things cost such as a coat that another friend had bought. The coat night was the last straw for me and I didn't really see her socially after that. She did not have financial worries but she was obsessed by the cost of everything.
She also refused to ever, ever let other cars out or in when she was driving. This drove me more nuts that the tipping thing tbh. But I think those sort if traits often go hand in hand.

RedButtonhole · 05/03/2015 07:56

Being a waiter/ess if really hard work and you have to put up with a lot and deserve more than the minimum wage.

So is being a shop assistant, in my seven years of working in retail, I never received a tip.

There are many jobs which are difficult, hard work and underpaid where tipping just isn't the done thing. I do tip if service has been exceptional, but don't bother normally. I don't tip my hairdresser either.

Fairylea · 05/03/2015 08:00

The first 5 minutes of reservoir dogs is amazing regarding tipping :)

I have worked in catering most of my life and I tip if service is truly exceptional but not if they're just doing their job. That's what they're expected to do. You don't feel the need to tip someone in mcdonalds. They're serving you food and being pleasant. As others have said plenty of people work in minimum wage jobs. It's not our responsibility to top up wages.

If someone truly goes out of their way then I will tip.

fairyfuckwings · 05/03/2015 08:00

I don't think I've ever had a meal with anyone who didn't leave a tip. And if I did I certainly wouldn't eat with them again.

I can't believe the amount of stingyness on this thread as in real life I just haven't encountered it. I wouldn't think much of a partner with such a mean attitude.

42isnottheanswer · 05/03/2015 08:00

I used to manage pubs where we served food. All tips from food tables were split equally between all staff involved: waiting staff, bar staff on duty in that room, chefs, kitchen porters. Cleaners got a smaller share but we're still included. They each played their part in creating a tip-worthy experience for the customer. My staff needed those tips to supplement the basic rate and they worked hard for it. Catering is never going to be well enough paid in the UK as we do not appreciate the service industries Sad. Yes they get the same minimum rate as other jobs but it is damn hard work and it has always been presumed that tips are part of the going rate IME.
I sympathise with your DP since this wasn't the case where he worked but still think it is the norm to tip unless service or food wasn't up to standard. He could always request that a share goes to the kitchen staff?

PtolemysNeedle · 05/03/2015 08:01

I tip only when I get service worthy of it. I have no problem not tipping if I didn't think the service was anything special.

When you go to mediocre restaurants, it's not unusual for the service just to be bog standard with people just doing what they are already paid for, so where's the need for a tip? It's not mean, waiting staff get paid only slightly less than I do for doing a significantly easier job. Whether I can afford to tip or not is irrelevant to whether I should tip, because my income doesn't make any difference to the service.

The expectation of tips is wrong IMO.

DollyMcDolly · 05/03/2015 08:03

I work in a kitchen and we get a share of the tips. I always tip as I know what it's like. It's hard work for minimum pay and the abuse the staff get on a regular daily basis is shocking. A tip is very much appreciated.

dexter73 · 05/03/2015 08:04

You tip for the service so you wouldn't tip in McDonalds as it is self-service.

Watchmestumble · 05/03/2015 08:04

I thought everyone tipped waiting staff, the hairdresser and the taxi driver.

I went out with a guy recently who would pocket the spare change after paying for a meal (we would split the bill) and would wait for the change from the taxi driver when he could have easily rounded it up. It really put me off. He told me he finished with his last girlfriend after he had paid for a meal and he was fed up of it. Even when he took me for breakfast in asda I had to pay half. Says it all.

I think not tipping is a sign of general stinginess.

Treaclepot · 05/03/2015 08:06

I agree fairyfuck. Having worked as a waitress for years people tip.
This thread has just attracted all the tight wads.

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