my dp NEVER tips

[suzzieanneba46]

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

I don't agree that being a waiter or waitress is harder than other kinds of work (I've done it for years by the way). It is hard but so are most other minimum wage jobs. My dh works 40 hours a week in a customer service industry where he provides customers with drinks and so on and tips are not part of the deal. Lots and lots of people work very hard for very little money in places where tips are not expected. (As I said, McDonald's and other fast food places, betting shops, most busy high street shops especially places like boots where they are expected to go out of their way to serve a customer and offer advice, a litter picker for the council, a lollipop person who is always lovely to the kids so on and so on and so on....).

What's wrong with paying for your half of the meal?

The not tipping is another issue. I was mortified when I went out with my sister and she loudly refused to leave a tip on the grounds that no one tipped her at work. We'd had a lovely waitress who'd really put herself out for us too. I've never eaten out with her since.

To everyone that thinks it's mean or stingy not to tip, what is the reason you feel like that? I genuinely don't get it. What's the logic in paying extra on top of something you are already being charged for for no real reason?

I understand paying a tip in recognition of service that goes beyond expectation but what's the point otherwise?

So I googled tipping in the UK after reading this post and found advice for tourists on tripadvisor. The etiquette section makes interesting reading. I think it should be taught in schools!
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Travel-g186216-s606/United-Kingdom:Tipping.And.Etiquette.html

To everyone who tips waitresses, would you tip people who serve you in supermarkets or shops? What about people in Greggs or on the food counters at supermarkets - they're often cooking and serving you food and earn minimum wage too.

Why tip one type of server and not another?

My husband has the opposite problem; he tips far too much.

I must admit our local restaurants love us for it. But he tips far too much especially when tipsy. I love that he in generous but he refuses to go out unless we can afford to tip a very generous amount. He will buy the bar staff a drink as well and all they have done is pour a drink!

I tip as well but not quite as well as him. I tip taxi drivers and delivery people around £2.00. Hairdresser £5.00 and my post man gets a nice tip at Xmas. I tip 15% at restaurants.

I would not go out or get a take-away if I couldn't afford a tip, but my husband is in a different league with what he tips.

I wouldn't have dated a man for long who refused to tip at all.

i have never understood why we have to tip.
I get when you go to the hair dresser and tip the saturday girl who is paid peanuts.
but waiters and taxi drivers?? odd
do you tip the person who does your online shopping, they are on mw??

What's the point in lots of things we do. Why do I say 'thank you' to the till staff for giving me my change and receipt as that is part of the transaction in shopping? It is a social norm and makes the world a nicer place to live in.

How is being a waiter harder work than other minimum wage jobs like care assistant, cleaner. They don't get tips. Unless the service is exceptional, or my children made a right mess, I don't tip.

I don't tip unless the service has been exceptional

Saying thank you is polite, it would be rude not to say thank you when someone has just done something for you even if they are being paid to do it.

I don't think tipping should be a social norm, and I don't actually believe it is. Tipping is done in recognition of good service, it's not something that should be expected no matter how poor the service is. What's the point in waiting staff making any effort if they assume they're going to be paid more than they earn either way?

What makes some jobs worthy of tips and not others?

Employers should be paying the wages, not the customers.

I always tip because I feel cruel not doing it, it's some kind of forced social etiquette that I adhere to because I'm typically British and don't wish to be rude. The only times I don't tip are when service has been appalling. Sometimes if it's been little above adequate I'll leave a stingy £1 tip. I never tip more than a fiver though.

I agree it seems pointless when so many other people work for the same wage and never get tips. I'd rather not tip when I've paid through the odds for a meal I could easily cook at home for much less as well but it's etiquette init .

comparing tiping greggs staff to tipping a table server in a restaurant is comparing apples and oranges.

In a restaurant I am greeted, sat at my table, drinks order taken, drink delivered to my table. Menu is brought to me, order is taken at the table. Food is served to the table. My satisfaction with my meal is enquired after. The dirty plates are collected from my table when I have finished. More drinks are delivered should I want them. A dessert if I fancy. Then the bill is given when requested.

In Greggs, I walk in, go up to the counter, order a sausage roll, get said sausage roll served lukewarm in a paper bag, charged £1 or whatever, then I leave.

But you'd already be paying more to be served a sausage roll in a sit down restaurant than you would in Gregg's. If you're already paying more to reflect the fact that you are in a restaurant and not a take away place, then why pay even more on top of that? The restaurant has already charged you what it needs to to ensure the servers are appropriately paid.

The boundaries are different now in catering jobs though stinkers- having worked in a chain bakery a few years back I was expected to do keep tabs on the heat of products, cook certain things, prepare sandwiches and bring them to the table, go back and get things for customers if they needed them, pack and prepare orders for offices and so on. It's actually quite rare now due to staff cutbacks etc that you get someone who just works on a till and puts a sandwich in to a bag even if at that moment they serve you that's all they are doing. I think all customer service jobs are mostly equally as difficult and stressful but not all of them attract tips.

The attitude of 'I don't get it so why should they' is kind of depressing.

I tip hairdressers (including the person who washes my hair) and waiting staff. Why? Mostly because I am sitting down, usually for more than an hour, while someone else treats me like a princess. I don't have to move a muscle- everything is brought to me.

If any supermarket/shop staff treated me like this, I would tip them too.

Not really. The people in bakeries or on supermarket counters
prepared your food first. I work on the hot food counter at a well-known supermarket. I prepare and cook food, wash dishes afterwards, serve customers their food, answer questions about allergies, etc. The only difference is my customers don't sit down, it's a takeaway.

So why shouldn't someone in my position, on minimum wage, not receive tips when wait staff do? Their job is no harder than mine.

Ptolemy I was once told you should tip for any service you have to sit down for eg taxi driver, hairdresser, waitress

I find non-tippers cringey tbh. ESpecially when they make a big song and dance about t

In our family if we get good service we give the tip directly to our waiter/waitress because both me and my mum were waitresses, otherwise it goes to the managers instead. When I went for my birthday lunch, we weren't planning on tipping because the service was awful and the waitresses were rude but when we paid they all magically disappeared for 10 minutes instead of bringing us back our change.

I'm in the same boat as U2TheEdge, my DH is over generous with the tipping. I don't mind but sometimes I do stop him when service has been really mediocre. He's an easygoing type and both of us have worked in service industries in the past, as have our DC's, so we know what hard work it is and how much tips mean.

I strongly object to service charge added onto a bill. I had a meal in Central London the other week, there were 5 of us, the waitress was so rude and I went to the head waiter with the bill at the end and asked for the service charge to be removed. Embarrassing but I am no pushover!

I will always tip something but it's rarely over 10% - my DH is more like 20% - we really must keep going back to the same places to get the benefit of his generosity!

That's an interesting way of looking at it BitOutOfPractice, I still don't really get it though.

A hairdresser couldn't do their job very easily if their customers don't sit down, so I still can't really see how whether the customer sitting or standing is relevant to the service received.

Tipping is a way of showing appreciation for the artistry of those serving you. I think that in the UK we severely underestimate how important a role the serving staff play in making a meal out enjoyable.

In a bog standard Pizza Express place, I would just pay the service charge rounded up. Likewise taxis get rounded up, sometimes with an apology if it's only 20p.

However, in fine dining and very posh hotels, tipping is part of the culture and I would feel a it meh not tipping on those occasions. It's a bit of a dichotomy because excellent service is expected as the norm in those establishments, yet also excellent service is what normally triggers larger tips from myself or my DH. Most restaurants of that calibre do share out the service charge element of the bill amongst all of the staff.

As for those that say they work in supermarkets or whatever, and they aren't tipped. Well... that's life... it's never going to change, waiting staff get tips, and if you feel that strongly, you should get a waiting job! I've worked in retail, exhausting and one-to-one with customers for long periods, no way would I expect to get tipped!