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AIBU?

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Original poster

my dp NEVER tips

483 replies

suzzieanneba46 · 05/03/2015 06:13

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

OP posts:
RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 18:59

Best comment ever from ds1

"Strangers in Subway are judging us"

Just thought I'd share

Notagainmun · 07/03/2015 19:17

I worked in a restaurant for years and we shared the tips with the kitchen help at the end of each shift. If the restaurant got unexpectedly busy we gave up breaks and lunch. The mess some customers leave behind was appalling and we had lots of cleaning and prep to do including moving heavy tables and chairs, so not just putting plates on tables.

Regular customers who didn't tip got the expected level of service, tippers got an exceptional service.

I always tip waited service (unless it is poor) and my hairdresser (whose prices are so much cheaper than the trendy salons in town and she is more up to date, as she is always sending her staff for the latest product and style training).

Bambambini · 07/03/2015 19:53

I've worked as a waitress in my distant murky past. Wonder old waiting staff are more likely to tip Than those who have never done it.

Feckeggblue · 07/03/2015 20:20

How can you give someone better service when you don't know of they'll tip until after their meal is finished though?

Southeastdweller · 07/03/2015 20:51

Having a good server who is efficient and pleasant can really add to your meal experience. It encourages good service

Bamba Are you aware that this is part of the waiting staff's job descriptions, that they're paid an OK wage for?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2015 22:05

I'm still a bit baffled by the concept of tippers getting exceptional service. What about customers who quietly come in, are pleasant, order, eat, pay and leave - without making a mess of lots of demands. Are they less wanted than other customers who might well tip but leave a tremendous mess and are demanding?

I can't see how waiting staff who are busy - and worth their salt - have the time to actually notice and pay such heed to who is leaving money and who isn't?

... also what Feck said. How would you even know until the meal is finished?

I've already said that I tip. I will tip exceedingly well if the service is pleasant and knowledgeable but doesn't intrude. I host a lot of business lunches and the worst thing ever is to have to fend off waiting staff who keep popping over to check that' everything's alright?'. Once is fine and quite enough, more constitutes bad service as far as I'm concerned and is a cynical attempt to gain a bigger tip. I'd tip more if they didn't do that.

dexter73 · 07/03/2015 22:14

Totally agree Lying. I don't eat out very much so I am not 'known' at a restaurant even though I do tip.

Southeastdweller · 07/03/2015 22:29

To get a tip, sometimes, as an experienced waiter or waitress, you can make an assumption about a customer and their spending habits and then make the effort to go and above what you're paid to do.

limitedperiodonly · 07/03/2015 22:35

I'm still a bit baffled by the concept of tippers getting exceptional service

What baffles you about that?

I go to a small number of places and tip very well.

I receive better service than the non-tipping customer and I expect it, because I pay for it.

The staff also give good service to other customers but just not as good as they give me.

Mainly that means they give me a table on walk-in and given a bit of time, a very good one.

I've also been to restaurants where I have tipped well and have received indifferent service. I didn't go back because I'm not going to waste my money.

But what I don't understand from the people who say they tip only in exceptional circumstances is what that is.

What do you think is exceptional circumstance? A tap dance?

One poster said that she tipped a waitress who was very nice to her children but added that she was probably angling for a tip.

With that attitude you can't fucking win.

SwirlyThingAlert · 07/03/2015 22:52

How do they know if you're a good tipper or not unless you're there all the time though? That is the question being asked.

limitedperiodonly · 07/03/2015 23:07

How do they know if you're a good tipper or not unless you're there all the time though? That is the question being asked.

Because the intention is that you like the place and want to build a relationship you tip well.

Waiters should be good at spotting regular customers and good tippers. That their job. If they can't do that, I don't want to waste my money.

Feckeggblue · 07/03/2015 23:11

I am a tipper but I don't buy the loyalty thing. I think it's the exception rather than the rule. Most of us live in areas with lots of places to eat and don't go back to the same place over and over and even so restaurants have notoriously high staff turnover so it's a misguided investment

Notrevealingmyidentity · 07/03/2015 23:33

I don't agree with it in the Uk. It does not make up the wages. We have minimum wage here.

Plenty of people earn minimum wage and don't get tips of any kind.

I might if they were extra nice/helpful as a thank you but I hate that it is expected. And I was a waitress for most of my student days and then again afterwards for a while.

OddFodd · 07/03/2015 23:34

I always tip. It's very bad manners not to. I don't care what the staff earn; it's irrelevant. If you can afford to eat out, you can afford to tip at least 10%.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 07/03/2015 23:37

It isn't bad manners. They are doing their job, like everyone else. There's no need to be giving money on top.

If you want to then fine. I sometimes do as well.

But it's not bad manners and should be expected. Not here in the UK. In the states where it is part of the wages ofcourse I would tip unless they were really awful.

PrettyFeet · 07/03/2015 23:39

I don't tip if there's a service charge. I tip if there isn't.

I always give a food delivery driver a quid due to them being on such a low wage I don't want my food spat in

I don't tip at all if the service was shite and I also ask for the charge to be removed.

I also think it's time for your partner to get over himself Grin

OddFodd · 07/03/2015 23:46

In places where there isn't a 12.5% service charge, you're expected to tip 12.5%. If you don't, you're ill-mannered. Sorry.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 07/03/2015 23:50

No idea why being expected to pay the wages of someone who is already being paid to do their job and not doing so is bad manners.

I never ever expected tips when I was working. It was lovely to get them but I would never judge someone for not tipping. Being polite and saying please and thank you was often more appreciated as some people think they can treat a waiter like dirt because after all if they want a tip they must put up with it.

Redglitter · 08/03/2015 00:13

I agree it's not bad manners. why on earth should you feel obliged to add 12.5% onto a bill. That's ridiculous. IF I tip ill tip what I think is appropriate.

OddFodd · 08/03/2015 00:19

It's a social convention. Like not pushing in at bus stops. You can pretend that it isn't, but it's a fact that a tip is expected in restaurants. Check on any guide to Britain. It's why they add 12.5% to the bill for large groups ( and as standard in many london restaurants).

The fact that you're too tight to pay is neither here nor there.

Bambambini · 08/03/2015 01:28

It is expected and it is a social convention - a social norm. I don't really know anyone that chooses to deliberately go down the not tipping path. If the service or whatever is crap then I won't tip and perhaps complain but tipping is the norm and expected no matter what some folk say here.

I think I have been in company where they didn't tip even when good service and others paid their share of the tip. So others covered for them. I doubt I chose to eat out with them again as it is a vague recollection. Most folk think it's stingy and rude even if they don't say so.

FuckItBucket · 08/03/2015 03:08

Why is it 12.5%? Why not just round it up to 13% or just 12%?

Who decided that was the right amount and how?!

Redglitter · 08/03/2015 05:04

Actually I'm not tight at all Far from it. I just don't agree with Having to tip regardless of the service. You continue to tip away & I'll continue to tip when service deserves it along with many other people Smile

BathshebaDarkstone · 08/03/2015 05:13

I tip on the rare occasions that we go to a restaurant. He should really get over it. Smile

Southeastdweller · 08/03/2015 08:30

Examples of exceptional service:

Knowing the menu inside out so if I ask the waiter or waitress any question about it then they know the answer.

Making a genuine effort with my kids (if I had any), or my friends' kids.

Asking if my white wine is cold enough.

Over time, he or she knows my eating and drinking habits, will ask the odd personal question without being intrusive.

I disagree that it's the norm to tip, here in the U.K, anyway.

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