my dp NEVER tips

[suzzieanneba46]

My dp just refuses ever to tip. This is because he worked in a pizza restaurant when he was a student and never got any of the tips as he worked in the kitchen.

Aibu to think he needs to give this up and just go along with social norms?

I silver service waitressed before University and quite enjoyed it
I found the job fairly easy and the money was alright as it was an unskilled job and I was 18.
Unsure how that translates into older adulthood as I would be exhauseted doing that job now

"People vote with their feet and if you can get an easier similar job for the same wage they will go for that if they can. The best staff would probably work in shop or bar rather than a restaurant if the wage was the same as the shop/bar work is easier. The ones that were left would probably be the less employable and probably not as good at the job."

I agree, good servers would go to places that pay above minimum wage which is largely happening anyway.
My point was simply that employers currently paying their staff the bare minimum would most likely take the hit on quality and keep their overheads lower. So in that sense, away from the larger debate about tipping culture, I disagree with those saying confidently and definitively that tippers are subsidising non tippers as I don't think places paying the bare minimum would change their practices if faced with the abolition of tipping. They're more likely to simply get staff who will work for minimum wage. But that's my hypothesis rather than me stating that this is definitely what would happen.

Oh but I don't agree that shop or bar work is easier.
Retail can be fucking hell and I'd take waiter in a restaurant over being a bar man in a busy bar in Dublin any day of the week.

Ok your partner is being mean, he got paid more for being in kitchens.

At Pizza Hut I got £3.10 an hour for being shitty waitress, I hardly ever got tables so I hardly got tips. Kitchen staff started on £3.50 to make up for tips. Wish I'd applied to be kitchen staff, probably would have stayed longer if I had!

I sometimes tip and sometimes I don't, depends on the service. I have totally stopped tipping at the hair salon now, it costs me enough! Service charges annoy me, I decide how well the service has been thanks.

I agree, good servers would go to places that pay above minimum wage which is largely happening anyway.

Is it? I thought that good servers just went to good restaurants where you get good tips.

My point was simply that employers currently paying their staff the bare minimum would most likely take the hit on quality and keep their overheads lower. So in that sense, away from the larger debate about tipping culture, I disagree with those saying confidently and definitively that tippers are subsidising non tippers as I don't think places paying the bare minimum would change their practices if faced with the abolition of tipping. They're more likely to simply get staff who will work for minimum wage. But that's my hypothesis rather than me stating that this is definitely what would happen.

If they took the hit on quality then not as many people would go to the restaurant though so they won't necessarily do that. Regardless, if non tippers get lower prices or better services because of those who do tip they are effectively being subsided by tippers.

Oh but I don't agree that shop or bar work is easier.
Retail can be fucking hell and I'd take waiter in a restaurant over being a bar man in a busy bar in Dublin any day of the week.

Really, I've done all three and without doubt waitressing was much harder than bar work. With bar work you serve the drinks and the job is done. Retail was fairly relaxed in comparison as well.

I think the bottom line is - tipping is not going to go away, as a PP said, tipping happens all over the world, why should the UK be different?

Also, I think that you are a true non-tipper if you make a point of not tipping no matter how pleased you are with the service, the meal, the friendly waitress - I just think that's mean to stand by some sort of 'principle', you don't make a point, you just seem tight. You not tipping is not going to change how much people are paid or abolish tipping as a practice so you need to embrace it. At least we're not like the US where you can barely talk to anyone or do anything without flashing the cash.

It doesn't make me 'a better person' because I tip, I just know how hard I and my DCs have worked in our lives at this type of job and how appreciated that small gesture of appreciation is. Therefore, I tip but not as a matter of course if the meal is not good, or the service is poor.

Yeah definitely
If forced to rank them id take retail then waiting tables then barwork.
Far busier in bar work, people far drunker, hours tend to be less sociable on a regular basis than waiting tables.

But it's all subjective, bar work and waiting tables were completely the wrong job for me because of the customer interaction nature but that doesn't make them objectively more difficult.
They're not essentially more different than many other jobs of their ilk, which is why I can certainly see why other mw workers might resent the idea that if it weren't for the tips then these wait staff would simply get a much easier job like X mw job that other people currently hold as though the wait staff would be taking a step down.

"I think the bottom line is - tipping is not going to go away, as a PP said, tipping happens all over the world, why should the UK be different? "

Because you have a national minimum wage which guarantees servers a level of income that other countries don't have.
Because cultures develop differently and will naturally have different social norms and etiquette. For example I got reprimanded when working in a New York restaurant for not clearing off a customers plate when he had finished despite the fact that the other diners hadnt finished and he hasn't placed his cutlery together. I couldn't think of anything ruder from uk or Irish staff than whipping away one diners plate while their company was still eating.

Also it's not just the uk and Ireland there's plenty of Asian countries where tipping isn't the norm or social etiquette.

If forced to rank them id take retail then waiting tables then barwork.
Far busier in bar work, people far drunker, hours tend to be less sociable on a regular basis than waiting tables.

Bar work may be busy but you are not serving several customers at once and effectively juggling several balls in the air as you are in a busy restaurant. Plus you do not have to rely on other people ie. kitchen staff to cook food on time. With bar work you can just serve the customer the drink with little interaction and then you are finished. Where or not it is busy, the job is much more simple and that is why I think it is worth less money.

Because you have a national minimum wage which guarantees servers a level of income that other countries don't have.

I don't think that the nmw has made much difference to the salaries waitresses have receive though. I got the same kind of salary in relative terms nearly 30 years ago as they do now. Therefore I think it is fair for tips to be the same.

I don't tip as standard. I certainly don't tip my hairdresser - she owns the salon and is clearly making good money. The times when I do tend to tip is when I'm out for dinner with my nieces and the waiters are good with them.

last time we were out on holiday we went to the same place 3 nights in a row. The staff addressed the girls like adults took their orders from them, asked them about their day - they were brilliant. Imo they went above and beyond what was necessary. could be tactics to get tips but it worked

" the job is much more simple and that is why I think it is worth less money."

And I think it's far more difficult, that's my only point. Aggressive drinks, people trying to skip q's, multiple orders from drunk people, handling money constantly rather than writing down an order from people sitting and politely ordering.

That's my only point, it's so subjective that arguing over which minimum wage job is more difficult is pointless. A good barman is a far more respected skill in Ireland than a good waiter. Other countries will see it differently and also it completely depends on the type of place and crowd etc
In my pro barman argument I can pick a crowded cocktail bar or rammed Friday night pub and compare it to a waitress in a small restaurant with maths 8 tables of which they're only covering 4.

I can accept you see waitressing as more difficult and understand your points but still disagree as I think it is far far simpler than being a bar tender. And you'll just as likely disagree with my view.
Which is why I think either of us claiming one job to be objectively more difficult and this worthy of more pay would be foolish to do so.

Having worked both in the kitchen and as waiting staff in my student years, I can confirm the waiting bit is way worse and more tiring, and the taxes take into account the fact you are expected to take in tips. Also, tipping is not only American, it is the norm in the rest of Europe as far as I know. At the hairdresser and in cafes, hotels and restaurants. And I would consider it tight not to. If you can't afford to tip, you can always eat at home or in a place where you collect your own food (fast food, buffet). I am surprised at how many people seem not to tip!

Being a good waitress is a lot harder than you think. When I ran a restaurant we only took about 1 out of every 4 or 5 who trialled. Posh girls were useless

If everyone stopped tipping then wages and prices would go up. The average earnings of waiting staff wouldn't change much and neither would restaurant profits or the total amount paid. That would be perfectly ok. But at the moment the 10% who don't tip are being subsidised by the 90% who do, which is a bit annoying.

Sorry, no sympathy AT ALL for those who go into waiting and complain that it's hard work. So bloody what, so is nursing. Carrying hot plates -v- carrying bedpans. I never hear nurses whinging about what their work entails, only people who wait tables.

If tipping is required then it should be fairer, ie. across the board in the service industries - not just waiting staff, the odd taxi driver and occasional hairdresser - across the board.

If people tipped when the service warranted it, the service would improve. It's risible reading that the tippers are subsidising the non-tippers. Newsflash - nobody is asking you to and it's not mandatory.

This thread is actually putting me off tipping entirely, so many posters who feel entitled to tips for doing what they're paid to do.

I tip. I don't understand the people who say it's an American import.

Maybe they're right in their part of Britain. However it's always been the norm where I've lived in the South East of England, so that's the convention I follow.

I've been surprised by people who don't tip, leave a derisory 20p or even worse, clear the change bowl of shrapnel. After reading this thread I realise it might be a cultural difference. I am not going to name the principally-offending county but a poster named it as a badge of honour. I don't agree.

When in Rome, or London...

If you don't want to tip, don't do it. But don't try to say it's for any altruistic, social or political measures that you don't and that I am stupid or have a Lady Bountiful complex because I do. In return I promise not to insult you either.

I do maintain the view that tipping oils the wheels and gets you the elusive table and better service. Being nice also does. But money talks and that's just the way things go.

i never hear nurses whining about what their work entails

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Every nurse I know is an Olympic class moaner.

Tipping isn't obligatory in the uk or France, I think it's considered an insult in japan

In the US it makes up part of the wages and staff can be very upset if you don't leave enough of a tip, let alone no tip

Leave a tip in the uk if you want, don't if you don't want

I think that if you replace the word "tipping" with "bribing" in some of these posts they will sound a lot more interesting

I think whether you tip or not is up to you. It's also up to you to live with whichever choice you make.

I do not tip the hairdresser: I get that they're supposed to make 'small talk', but I'm crap at it and prefer when they don't try and chat to me - I think I may have tipped a hairdresser once when they barely spoke to me and I was grateful for it - but ultimately I am paying them to do something I am unable to do myself, so I am paying for that service in the price they charge for the haircut. I do not tip taxi drivers - I have paid a wildly different fare for a journey 'to' somewhere compared with 'from', both journeys within 30mins, so no way am I tipping when a fare is apparently 'made up' on the spot.

I sometimes tip a waiter/waitress. I have experienced outstanding service in restaurants and I have experienced dire service in restaurants - I tipped the outstanding service and complained about the dire service. For mediocre, expected service (as in, my order is taken, food is served and the bill is brought over), no, I don't tip. I am already paying more for the food precisely because I am sitting in a restaurant to eat it - that extra is for the overheads of the restaurant, for the food, for the service and for the lack of hassle of preparing/cooking/eating at home. I don't see why I should pay even more for service when it's already factored in to the price.

And I am fine with these choices. I am not 'stingy' or 'tight' - if you asked anyone who knew me, they would tell you I am incredibly generous actually - but I won't pay twice for the service I am getting, which with average in a restaurant is what you're doing.

Every nurse I know is an Olympic class moaner.

I typed that but deleted it because I didn't want to be the first

Roussette Regarding your posts this morning, I'm not 100% against tipping and do tip for exceptional service. But in Britain, this is a rare occurrence in my experience. In big group situations when eating out, yes I tip regardless of service quality because I can't be arsed with the questions and filthy looks.

This morning I had breakfast out alone near where I work. The food and the coffee were great but the waiter seemed uncapable of smiling and didn't engage in conversation apart from asking what I'd like and the odd 'sure' . When the time came to pay up, I saw a 12.5% discretionary service charge listed, which I refused to pay. The waiter who took my bill wasn't the same one who served me and didn't bother to ask me how my experience was, and rather crassly, pointed out how much change I'd been given. This is pretty typical of customer service in London, sadly. And it's experiences like this that mugs are happy to pay the service charge for and sometimes a tip on top? Madness.