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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think small children shouldn't take up Tube seats?

308 replies

MrsRupertCampbellBlack · 04/03/2015 16:17

genuinely interested as I'm currently six months pregnant with my first child and I know this is going to be me in a couple of years!

But I keep seeing mums at rush hour on really busy Tubes sitting with a small child next to them taking up another seat. Surely the nicer/politer/more sensible thing to do would be for the mum to have the child on her lap and free up a seat for someone else?

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 04/03/2015 16:18

I agree, that's what I do with mine, but apparently it's a terribly old fashioned view

Artandco · 04/03/2015 16:19

Maybe if small enough to go on laps. But otherwise I would rather a small child sat than was trampled on or half falling out the door!

meglet · 04/03/2015 16:20

possibly but if that child ends up kicking and tantrumming on the mum then it doesnt work and you end up with a tube carriage tantrum which doesn't help anyone. sometimes mine sat on my lap, others they needed their own seat.

onemiddlefinger · 04/03/2015 16:21

I opened this thinking it was about me, as i just got home with DS and we both had a seat on the tube.
Usually i do have him in my lap but we got the tube early so wasn't that busy and there were seats.
Will be interesting to see what people think.

TheJiminyConjecture · 04/03/2015 16:21

DD is 5, generally I prefer to stand and have her sit down. She's the right height to get smacked in the face by rucksack/ handbags etc. Also she finds it harder to balance so wobbles around at crotch height!

Morelikeguidelines · 04/03/2015 16:21

On lap if it is a small child who is not paying and can fit on lap. But it can be unsafe for smallish children to stand on crowded tubes. A pregnant mother travelling with a 4 year old can hardly be expected to put them on her lap but they might fall if standing.

There are probably lots of able bodied young adults who you can ask to stand for you if you are pregnant.

Charlotte3333 · 04/03/2015 16:22

My 4 year old goes on my lap. My 9 year old pirouettes about pissing other passengers off. But doesn't ever sit down.

dinkystinky · 04/03/2015 16:22

As with Artandco, if small enough to sit on a lap ideally they should sit on a parent's lap but I really would prefer for the child to be sat and safe rather than crushed in rush hour.

crje · 04/03/2015 16:23

Think yabu
It is not comfortable to travel with a child on your lap.
Under 2 maybe on a short hop but over that I would put them on the seat inside me.

Artandco · 04/03/2015 16:23

Or people like me who have more than one small child. Either is small enough but I would rather have just one on lap at a time so I'm not super squashed!

Morelikeguidelines · 04/03/2015 16:23

If it is crowded I will often stand and let dd 6 sit as she is still a height to get bashed etc.

But often we will both stand if plenty of standing space but no seats.

goshhhhhh · 04/03/2015 16:27

Depends on how small. my child has a ticket that I have paid for. They are often v tired & it would be more dangerous for them to stand & get joustled by large adults. I have more than one child.

BitchBags · 04/03/2015 16:28

Haha charlotte3333 I just had a giggle at the thought of many pissed off tube travellers being barged out the way by your 9 year olds ballet performance Grin

base9 · 04/03/2015 16:29

They are not 'taking up' Tube seats. They are sitting in them. Just like other humans. They are not a lesser form of life.

A person who is more able to stand should always give up a seat for one less able. That may or may not be a child who should stand.

BinToHellAndBack · 04/03/2015 16:32

Lol crje @ 'the seat inside me'!

On your lap if you can have them. On a seat if you can't, up until they're safe enough to stand alone. Two in one seat if you have a couple of children. Standing with them if there are no seats.

CalicoBlue · 04/03/2015 16:32

This is something I do ponder. As an adult having to stand I do think that kids should not have a seat, but as a parent I know that small kids can get bashed and are not strong enough to hold on if the trains lurch as they do.

So I do not think either is in the wrong or being unreasonable.

bigbuttons · 04/03/2015 16:33

Children too large/old for laps can find it very difficult to keep their balance whilst standing on tubes. I have found that many adults have given up their seats so my younger children could sit. I will always let my children take a seat over me if the need arises.

WhoCaresWhatYouThink · 04/03/2015 16:33

Why shouldn't they be allowed to sit down? What makes you or anybody else more important than them?

SarfEasticatedMumma · 04/03/2015 16:33

My DD7 sits on my lap if an adult is standing, as that is how I was brought up, and I would be uncomfortable any other way. I often see a dad on rush hour tube with his little girl (3?) on her own seat. I think he should sit her on his lap and have a cuddle! she's adorable.
I think generally children under 7 should be on laps if adults want to sit down, and older children can stand.

FoodieToo · 04/03/2015 16:40

Calico why ,in your opinion, should kids not have a seat?

Sixgeese · 04/03/2015 16:40

I always let me DC sit over me, it is safer for everyone. If they fall into someone when the tube jolts they could take out the person standing next to them too.

My friend and I took 6DC (3 each) out during half term, we generally doubled up children on one seat and had one on our laps too, so all 8 of us took 4 seats.

I generally think that you should give up your seat to people less able to stand, so the old, the young, the pregnant or any other reason that would make them less stable on their feet than you.

VeryAgedParent · 04/03/2015 16:42

As a regular daily commuter (and a parent) I wonder at why some parents feel it necessary to travel in the rush hour with small children, it is not pleasant for the children or the rest of the travelling public, when they get vocal and disruptive.
During school holidays etc surely it is better and cheaper to travel off peak?

PurpleCrazyHorse · 04/03/2015 16:44

I would put DD on my lap if the tube was busy, but if people were standing down the middle of the seats (Piccadilly line), then I might not as her legs would then be hugely in the way of everyone else (plus the usual Heathrow luggage sandwiched between the seats). I definitely wouldn't have her stand. If anything I'd probably stand and leave her sitting on the seat, that way her swinging legs would be kicking my shins rather than random strangers Grin

LocalEditorEssex · 04/03/2015 16:45

I often give my seat to a small child. Especially if it is packed. Always the parent has said thank you.

WhyHasTheGinGone · 04/03/2015 16:46

As someone that doesn't have children (so have never been outraged that someone wants my pfb to stand up) I agree with the above. If small enough then on lap, if too big to sit on a parents lap but not old enough or tall enough to avoid falling over/being hit with bags/being squashed or trampled then an adult is going to have to stand. Demanding a child sacrifices their safety so you can have a rest is indescribably selfish. If there is a genuine reason for you to need a seat then it should be another adult that stands, not a child. It's different in a room where a child could sit on the floor to allow and adult to take their chair, but I know plenty of adults that struggle keeping their balance on the tube so I'm not sure how a child that will struggle to hold onto something is supposed to handle it.