to think small children shouldn't take up Tube seats?

[MrsRupertCampbellBlack]

genuinely interested as I'm currently six months pregnant with my first child and I know this is going to be me in a couple of years!

But I keep seeing mums at rush hour on really busy Tubes sitting with a small child next to them taking up another seat. Surely the nicer/politer/more sensible thing to do would be for the mum to have the child on her lap and free up a seat for someone else?

I wouldn't allow my kids to sit when there are adults without one. My 9 year old can sit on my lap, my 12 year old can stand. For the same reasons as CointreauVersial.

I don't live in London, but I always buy tickets for my 1 and 4 year olds when taking the normal train. I'm sure it pisses off some adults to stand while my little children enjoy a seat, but tough!

Interesting thread. When I was small my parents' view was that if a child was small enough for a free fare then that was because they didn't need a seat as they could sit on the paying adult's lap, so we didn't get a choice over lap or seat. Sounds like views have changed.

I think the only times we travelled on the tube when it was really busy was at Christmas shopping time though.

If it wasn't busy I would let my child have their own seat. Busy times and rush hour they would be on my lap. And they would certainly be moved onto my lap for a pregnant woman. I wouldn't make a young child stand though, especially rush hour, they could be hurt.

I agree OP. And not just small children, I make my teenagers sit on my lap.

I must say, I think whether the child's seat has been paid for is irrelevant. What we are talking about here, in general I stress, is plain good manners.

If there are empty seats, I think a small child should have a seat. If the tube is full and crowded, I think if possible, they should sit on a parent's knee.

I have 2 dcs. Now 8 and 11,we all stand no question unless the tube is empty. When they were say 3 and 5 or 4 and 6 they would share a seat and I would stand. So we were still only using 1 seat IYSWIM.

their ticket has been paid for then they have as much right to a seat as you

It's not about rights, it's about manners.

I wonder why some people view children as less important than adults?

Yes. Manners have changed over the last 20 to 30 years. I think everybody should endeavour to be polite and think of others, whatever their age.

However, the idea that children should necessarily look up to and respect all adults led to some very unfortunate situations in the past and probably still does.

I would certainly ask my children to The idea that they should give it up to somebody just because that person is a few years older is a bit strange.

I'm not saying my children should be arsey or mouthy or rude - just that they should show the same courtesy that would be expected of an adult. This might include giving up their seat to somebody who needs it more - but not every random person over the age of 18 who gets on the tube.

I would certainly ask my children to The idea that they should give it up to somebody just because that person is a few years older is a bit strange.

"It's not about rights, it's about manners"

There's nothing polite about treating children like second-class citizens.

Spent some time in London last week. My kids are 7 and 9. If it was busy and they were not too tired they stood. On a few occasions though, they'd been on their feet all day and were knackered. Then they sat. I'd have offered my seat to someone I thought needed it, but not theirs, on these occasions.

I put my (small) 10yo on my lap if needed on any busy train, bus, tram.

But if we've been up to London and have a 1hr+ journey home then on a busy train I wouldn't make my 15yo stand to enable a standard commuter to get a seat. her feet will be more tired from a day's sightseeing than an office worker.

If they fit on a parent's lap they should be put on the parent's lap. No question.

And anyone, child or adult, who is steady on their feet should automatically give up their seat for an old person/pregnant woman etc.

I think it's more of a courtesy, rather than treating them like second class citizens. It's a nice way to show people who can't stand comfortably, that we think they should accommodated. Whether it means putting a small child on your lap or getting your fit, healthy and stable child to stand with you for a bit I think it's just a nice thing to do. It just teaches kids to look out for other members of the community.

YABU to a point op. As for the posters who think that children should stand/sit on top of their parents or not travel during rush hour

Always wonder what blatant child haters like perpetua72 are doing on parenting sites, other than the obvious . It's a good thing you don't make policy, so your 'end of' doesn't apply. My child sat on the Tube.

I come from the generation who were required to hive up our seats to adults -- probably from the age of around 8 or 9. I don't think that's a bad thing, frankly. At 54 I still GI e up my dear to others, but never a child. Frankly I assume that they have more energy than I do.

I am shocked at the selfishness of parents here who think that a 12 or a15 year old needs a seat more than a working adult.

But I guess you'll all reap what you're sowing now. Don't complain when you're in your 60s or diabled, and teenagers don't offer you a seat. That's the result if your selfish parenting.

No, children don't get a seat on the tube. End of. My five year old gets a seat and I stand. Is that ok with you perpetua72?

UptheChimney there is quite a difference between a working adult and a pensioner or someone who is disabled.

I am a working adult and I wouldn't expect a teenager to give up their seat for me. I would expect them to give it up for someone who was struggling to stand!

If not busy they get a seat if busy definitely lap! had a period with DS2 who got very angry if having to sit on lap but tough! Even my 8 yo can sit on my lap if needed, or I stand and he sits. If we have been out and about on a weekend, the kids are generally exhausted and need a seat. Never need to travel with them on weekdays in rush hour thankfully though or very rarely

We have to use buses every day to get to and from school (and work, when I am not on mat leave). People who think children should stand so adults can sit are fucked in the head. Children are far more likely to fall, and are no less deserving of a seat than adults.

My DD7 sits on my lap if an adult is standing, as that is how I was brought up, and I would be uncomfortable any other way. ...I think generally children under 7 should be on laps if adults want to sit down

If DD7 was twins, or had a younger sibling, what would you do? You only have one lap. It's a safety thing, there have been times when I have been glad of my husband shielding me and the baby from those who press onto the train as if we lived in Tokyo, a small child would be in serious danger standing. Even in a less crowded train, they don't have the experience/skillset to balance themselves, and can't always reach any sort of handhold. my son reached the age of wanting to stand, and held on to a vertical pole, and ended up snashing his face into it at a stop.

In my mind, anyone unable to stand securely should sit. If a lap is a available, children have that option, but it isn't required. Otherwise, older folks, younger children, some people with disabilities, and some pregnant women. Except for the children, it isnt always obvious if the passenger cant manage standing. I try to catch their eye/ask, cause nothing is more annoying than getting up with the intention of letting them have your seat, and they dont want it and someone else takes it before you can sit back down! Ok, it is more annoying if they did want it and someone takes it.