Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think small children shouldn't take up Tube seats?

308 replies

MrsRupertCampbellBlack · 04/03/2015 16:17

genuinely interested as I'm currently six months pregnant with my first child and I know this is going to be me in a couple of years!

But I keep seeing mums at rush hour on really busy Tubes sitting with a small child next to them taking up another seat. Surely the nicer/politer/more sensible thing to do would be for the mum to have the child on her lap and free up a seat for someone else?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/03/2015 14:31

Them poor working adults, facing the Tube after a long shift breaking rocks by hand.

keepitsimple0 · 05/03/2015 14:37

Healthy children have endless energy, standing will do them no harm. It's so rude of the parents to not give up the seat especially if there are elderly people standing.

Healthy adults can stand too.

Children are people too. The bar should be who can stand safely - not how old you are. I would ask my older child (DD 6 is built like a brick house, can easily safely stand) if an adult OR another child has trouble standing. Otherwise, she can sit like anyone else.

KellyElly · 05/03/2015 14:52

On the line I travel on daily I don't see eldery people, pregnant women or small children standing, because the healthy able bodied adults stand to offer their seats.

KellyElly · 05/03/2015 14:54

London buses are a different matter. It's survival of the fittest. People would rather gauge out their own eyeball than give anyone their seat on a packed bus in South London!

BarbarianMum · 05/03/2015 15:21

I can assure you after a long day of sight seeing and museums, they don't. Mine love being allowed to stand on the tube (I don't let them if there are lots of seats available), so if they want to sit down they clearly need to.

motherinferior · 05/03/2015 15:25

Who are these mythical children who don't crash, suddenly and exhaustedly?

I stand up for people who need my seat. Actually that could include a small wobbly child. I'm quite nice, really, I just don't believe that healthy able-bodied non-pregnant adults trump kids automatically.

UptheChimney · 05/03/2015 17:18

I am a working adult and I wouldn't expect a teenager to give up their seat for me. I would expect them to give it up for someone who was struggling to stand

I would like to think a teenager would give up his/her seat to any adult of a reasonable age. Sadly, they don't. Because they've been parented in this selfish "My rights, my rights" way.

So -- what we are effectively doing is saying that it's OK for teenagers and/or their parents to make judgements about which of us adults are worthy or deserving of a seat?

All I can say is, be careful what you wish for, and be even more careful of what you teach your children about rights, without responsibilities. Because you'll get a world formed by this selfish mind set.

expatinscotland · 05/03/2015 17:22

PMSL that others should give up a seat simply because they are not an adult and those who don't are sad and selfish.

NotMyChashkaChai · 05/03/2015 17:30

yanbu!! I remember travelling with my mum and my brother on the tube when I was over 5 and my brother was under 5 (back in the day when you had to pay for over 5s but under 5s were free). We lived out on the end of a tube line we all started out in our own seats , but as we got nearer into town and the tube got busier my mum would always always tell my brother that he had to sit on her lap now. I do the same with dd who is 2. It's just polite to put small children on your lap when there are paying adults standing.

merrymouse · 05/03/2015 18:24

Leaving aside obvious things like whether a particular teenager is more able to stand than a particular adult, what is an adult of a reasonable age? How do you know that the teenager you are glaring at isn't actually 22? How do you know that the appallingly rude 14 year old isn't actually 16 and going home from their Saturday job?

How can you tell who has been at work at all? Is it all adults who should be given seats, even those who have snuck onto the tube using a stolen oyster card to pick pockets? Is it just clean shaven 'working' adults in suits who deserve seats? (bad news for people who work in Hoxton).

I think this is a useful guide.

now-here-this.timeout.com/2014/07/31/the-ultimate-guide-to-tube-etiquette-20-things-you-need-to-know-to-be-a-good-commuter/

See points 10 and 16.

TiggieBoo · 05/03/2015 18:32

Let's see, I used to drop the kids at nursery at 7:30 am and pick them up at 6 pm, they were knackered at the end of the day. Seats on the tube were so gratefully accepted, you've got no idea...

FixItUpChappie · 05/03/2015 18:36

Why kids specifically? Very odd to view kids at "taking up a seat" where as everyone else is just sitting down. Besides children are small/more at risk of being jostled into/knocked over etc. I would never make a little one stand so I could take my place as the respected senior. Bleurg - it does seem a very ungracious and old fashioned point of view.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 05/03/2015 18:52

What age is a small child?

I have a 6yo and a 2.5yo. I wouldn't expect my 6yo to sit on my lap. In fact I would prefer him to sit down rather than me as he's more likely to fall over or be hit in the face with something.

My 2.5yo I would have on my lap if someone else needed the seat but I would fully expect her to have a scream about it...she hates sitting on my lap on the train/bus/tube! I would probably end up standing and letting her have the seat! Or often they share a seat.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 05/03/2015 19:21

Mine would have a seat each. I wouldn't want either of them sitting on me as it's uncomfortable. Didn't mind when they were toddlers but as they got bigger no way.

Why shouldn't kids be able to sit down.

mummymummypony · 05/03/2015 19:28

I agree with what meg let said earlier up. My dad is usually well behaved on the train, so during busy periods she sits on my lap. When it is less busy she takes a seat. If a child is in meltdown mode then I would rather they have their own space. Older children I don't really have an opinion on.

MythicalKings · 05/03/2015 19:51

If people want their DCs to have seats while fare paying adults stand then maybe they should buy them as adult priced ticket.

Longdistance · 05/03/2015 19:58

I've always found people move for my dds who are 3 and 5, and give up their seats so they can sit down.

If I saw a pg lady I'd move one of them onto my lap. I always look around for elderly /disabled people too.

But, Yanbu.

ByTheWishingWell · 05/03/2015 20:08

Should OAPs also give up their seats for fare paying adults?

I can see the argument for toddlers sitting in laps where possible, but beyond that I honestly can't understand why people think a child is leas deserving of a seat than an able bodied adult. At what age do we suddenly become deserving? Should an 17 year old on the way home from work give up their seat for a 25 year old on the way to a party?

I give up my seat for anyone who deserves it more than me, whether that is because they are disabled, frail, pregnant, or a small child. I would never expect someone to give me their seat just because I'm older than them. Confused

expatinscotland · 05/03/2015 20:12

You're not paying for a seat, you're paying for the journey.

finnbarrcar · 05/03/2015 20:12

The "adult priced ticket" argument...what a load of baloney. Funnily enough we don't send 8 year olds up chimneys anymore, pity they can't earn their "keep".

A child is a person, entitled to a seat on public transport.

finnbarrcar · 05/03/2015 20:16

...and if the rail and bus companies did the decent thing and only sold tickets for available seats this argument would be null and void.

3littlebadgers · 05/03/2015 20:51

We do dc1 (tall 9yr old) and dc2 (tall and very uncoordinated 8yr old) sharing one seat, and dc3 (tall 5 yr old) on my heavily pregnant lap if we can get a couple of seats near to each other. Otherwise it is dc1 stood, and me sat with dc2 and dc3 on one of my legs each. It isn't the most comfortable way to travel but by the time we get closer to home the tube often has space enough for everyone to have their own seat and most importantly it gets us home safely.
I would be quite panicky with the idea of dc2 stood up in a crowded train or bus just because he is so uncoordinated and also there is nothing to him. If he got bumped or pushed he literally would go flying. Dangerous for him and dangerous for anyone in his path.
I do however get a little bit judgey when I travel with my friend. She and each of her children always have to have their own seats, no matter how busy it gets, just because of the tantrums her 6 and 4 yr old throw when asked to share or sit on a lap.

DancingDinosaur · 05/03/2015 21:00

I'd give up my seat for a child that was standing in the same way that I would for anyone that I perceived as needing it more than me. I certainly wouldn't expect a child to stand so that I could have their seat.

Southeastdweller · 05/03/2015 21:03

Yes, I see this now and then. I would never give up my seat for a toddler and no mum or dad has asked me to...yet. Typical child-centric, let them do what they want behaviour common these days.

So, no, YANBU.

Opopanax · 05/03/2015 21:36

Well, not that child-centric, obviously, as nobody has asked you to do that.