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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think small children shouldn't take up Tube seats?

308 replies

MrsRupertCampbellBlack · 04/03/2015 16:17

genuinely interested as I'm currently six months pregnant with my first child and I know this is going to be me in a couple of years!

But I keep seeing mums at rush hour on really busy Tubes sitting with a small child next to them taking up another seat. Surely the nicer/politer/more sensible thing to do would be for the mum to have the child on her lap and free up a seat for someone else?

OP posts:
Funkytown · 04/03/2015 16:48

very maybe they don't chose to maybe they have to to get home from school

Thurlow · 04/03/2015 16:48

On your lap if that is at all possible, or them sitting and you standing in front of them.

If the pushchair isn't folded up then put them in there.

There's an awkward middle ground between being a bit too old to sit on your lap, but probably still too young to stand up without being bashed around or nervous. No idea what to do then.

But it's pretty much tied to how I was brought up too - my parents always taught me to stand as its polite.

SarfEasticatedMumma · 04/03/2015 16:48

I'm the same as you VAP and can only surmise that most parents aren't aware how busy the rush hour gets. I was near a family that ran onto a packed tube when the doors were shutting (next train in 1 min) and then didn't hold on - Everyone shuffled so they could get to a bar and they still stood there shrieking when the tube moved. The girl (9?) stood there rubbing her arm where the door had hit her on the way on.
I do think though that we regular tube users actually like seeing happy babies kids on the train, I have no issue with crying or squealing or (gasp) feeding, and neither to most of the other people I see smiling or winking at children.

expatinscotland · 04/03/2015 16:50

YABU

ThatBloodyWoman · 04/03/2015 16:50

Mine sit if possible.
I would hope I've taught them to stand up if someone with greater need gets on -it may take prompting if they don't realise.
I wouldn't expect them to stand for an able bodied adult.

Opopanax · 04/03/2015 16:51

DD used to go on my lap up to about 4 or so. Between 5 and 7 she did need a seat. She was too heavy and bony to go on my lap, it was really uncomfortable - and she couldn't keep her balance if the train lurched or whatever. However, if the tube was busy then I stood up and let her keep her seat, and of course if someone eg with a walking stick got on I made her stand up with me and offered them a seat and just held onto her. Now she's 8 she is reliably able to hold on to something appropriate, stay in a sensible position and not get too whacked about.

Nydj · 04/03/2015 16:53

As a regular daily commuter (and a parent) I wonder at why some parents feel it necessary to travel in the rush hour with small children, it is not pleasant for the children or the rest of the travelling public, when they get vocal and disruptive.
During school holidays etc surely it is better and cheaper to travel off peak?
Well, I can't speak for all parents but I suspect most of us only take children on public transport during rush hour if we have to e.g. To get to medical appts, school or childcare near work during school holidays, to get and from activities during the school holidays that our children would enjoy etc.

CalicoBlue · 04/03/2015 16:53

Foodie I was brought up being told that kids gave up seats for adults, and I have got my kids to do so if they had a seat and an adult did not. I also agree that small kids can not hold on properly on tubes and buses so should have a seat.

However, I never travel on the tube in rush hour with my kids. I do see little kids being taken to school each day on the tube, and it looks awful for them. They are lucky to squeeze on the tube, let alone get a seat. All those elbows and bags at head hight.

Thurlow · 04/03/2015 16:54

The thing with putting kids on your lap when its busy is its kind of like any other part of Tube etiquette - though whether that's followed is another conversation.

But it's about making the most available space you can for other people on a busy Tube.

So if I'm on with friends and chatting, but it gets busy and the most polite/space-saving thing for me to do is move a little further down the carriage so I can't chat to my friends, I'd do that.

If I have lots of bags and people are having to stand in the aisle between the seats, I try and get as many bags on my lap as I can.

So if it is busy, and you think that you can save some space by having your child comfortably on your lap, why not do that?

I do enjoy seeing teenagers all squashed on top of one another on one seat though Grin

ChippyMinton · 04/03/2015 16:54

YABU for the reasons everyone else has stated. Politeness has its place, and I would give up my seat if someone needed it. But I wouldn't put my DC at risk.

TheRealMaryMillington · 04/03/2015 16:55

Under 5s ish kind of size on knee
5s - 8ish kind of size, especially if small probably need a seat in order to not cause more bother
8 ish (so long as stable and sensible) - adult sized should stand if people have greater need

the problem of kids taking up seats pales into insignificance compared to bag hoggers and man spreaders imo

funnyface31 · 04/03/2015 16:55

I think if the tube is mad busy and the child has a paid ticket then it's around one.
However, I'm not sure I would be letting a pregnant/old folk stand whilst my child sat on a seat.

I was 8 months pregnant on a busy train and no sod offered me a seat. A woman angrily asked if I could keep my handbag still because it was hitting her on the head. There is many places I would of loved to of shoved the said bag!

ThatBloodyWoman · 04/03/2015 16:55

Unfortunately I also had experiences as a young girl of men pressing themselves up against me on the tube.I'll stand,my daughters can sit,and if any dirty fuck wants to try it on with a gobby old bugger like me -well,go for it,mate.

funnyface31 · 04/03/2015 16:56

*tough one

SarfEasticatedMumma · 04/03/2015 17:00

ThatBloodyWoman not to mention the ones that take pictures up girls skirts It's not nice being a young woman sometimes.

Altinkum · 04/03/2015 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lilymaid · 04/03/2015 17:06

Better they are sitting down and safe than rattling round the carriage with every stop and start.
However, if they keep leaving their seat to move around the carriage and I get on the train and (unknowingly) take "their" seat, I'm not giving it back.

Artandco · 04/03/2015 17:07

Very - we live in central London. Our children have to go on tube to get to school/ home/ childcare/ life. What a bizarre question

MrsPeabody · 04/03/2015 17:11

This doesn't bother me at all. I think it's sometimes safer to have their own seat. I gave up my seat for a 3 or 4 year old the other day.

Flomple · 04/03/2015 17:13

A 4-6 year old standing on the tube is an accident waiting to happen. Much safer for mine to sit, and I'll stand. However I always say no thanks if someone offers to give up a seat for DC, we don't need it that much.

Re travelling at rush hour, well no one does it out of choice do they? The time of people with children is often as constrained as that of commuters, but in a different way.

SaucyJack · 04/03/2015 17:15

YABU. Thinking that one person should have less rights in their daily life than another person is prejudiced and probably illegal.

SaucyJack · 04/03/2015 17:16

*on grounds of age.

motherinferior · 04/03/2015 17:19

Why should the poor buggers stand for able-bodied adults? They are people. Just quite small people who might get squashed.

MinceSpy · 04/03/2015 17:23

0 to 5s don't pay to travel on the underground or bus and under the transport regulations aren't entitled to a seat. If the tube is busy under 5s should be on the lap of the adult travelling with them.

SarfEasticatedMumma · 04/03/2015 17:28

I wouldn't get my daughter to stand for anyone, she'd sit on my lap. If there was a pregnant lady, OAP, person in need of a seat I would stand and DD would take our seat if it was packed. Children don't pay for tickets on the tube you see. We only use the tube together at the weekend, so I usually wait for an empty train before we get on.

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