AIBU or is he regarding breast feeding?

[Thereisnoplacelikehome]

I am currently pregnant, it's my 3rd child and Dp's first. We can not agree on anything to do with raising the baby. I am aware we should have thought about all this before deciding whether to have a baby or not.

The biggest thing is breast feeding. I think I should try to breast feed. My reasons are

It's free
It's much better for the baby
It's more convenient, no making up bottles in the middle of the night etc

Dp wants me to bottle feed, his reasons are

He finds breast feeding disgusting
He thinks science beats nature so formula will be made much better than breast milk

So who is being unreasonable? Dp says he is happy to get up in the night and make up bottles.

How old is he?

Why did you need to name change for this?

Definitely your body your choice.
If you want to breastfeed, then do it. He can go into another room.

That's what I thought takeme. Lots of incendiary stuff regarding methods of feeding.

You would feel pretty crappy if you didn't breastfeed your baby to please a bloke with these ignorant, infantile views.

You know full well who is being unreasonable here OP. Please reassure us that you won't let yourself be 'forced' to forget breastfeeding. It is NOT his bloody choice to make.

He sounds like a prat. That is all.

so you have 2 dc from previous relationship (s) and he thinks he knows better than you

how so ?

"The day he gets to be pregnant is the day he gets to choose birth method.
The day he gets to give birth is the day he chooses who he wants there.
The day his tits start leaking milk is the day he gets to choose what he does with that."

This.

He's being an absolute twat.

I agree with taking him along to the midwife appointment so she can try and speak in words of one syllable to him.

Failing that, once the baby is born, breastfeed your baby and ignore his utterly ridiculous and frankly laughable opinion.

I would, however, suggest having a few conversations about other possibly contentious or completely reasonable parenting decisions before the baby is born so you can decide whether you want to continue with the relationship.

I think my questions at 16:45 will come to be true predictions.

What can he actually do if you decide to BF? Just tell him you are BF FFS, end of discussion.

What a prince. I'm sorry you're pregnant and you've found out your dp is stupid :(

Let's hope the baby takes after you. You sound smart

Maybe ask him for some evidence for his stupid opinions? That should keep busy for a bit and avoid the need for you to listen to his cretinous stupidity.

Reading back through your OP. It's actually about more than the bf though. You say you 'can't agree on anything' connected with raising the baby. In context of what you've described of him so far, that sounds pretty dire - I assume your other issues aren't related to him insisting on a Montessori nursery and baby signing before 2 months old...

Pregnancy is a prime point for poor partners to start showing their real selves - whether they're abusive or just plain shit. He sounds grim, and if it's only now that that's becoming apparent - well, this place can help you think that through, and what you want to do about it.

I'm sure it is coincidental about the ff child having excema etc, I'm not against ff, I've done it both ways. It's mainly it's so much easier to whip your boob out than mess around making up bottles.

He's 34.

He said if I do breast feed he doesn't want to see it, it's going to be a bit bloody difficult with a newborn that wants feeding every five minutes.

This could potentially be a big problem for you both. Hope he sees sense and realises in time how stupid and pathetic he is being. It would make me look at my partner in a whole new light if he persisted with this. Like if my partner suddenly started spouting some nasty rasisct or sexist shit. I'd lose a lot of respect.

I don't see this is as ff-v-bf thread at all.

He sounds like quite the catch.

He finds breastfeeding disgusting? That's fine, you won't be breastfeeding him.

Fortunately the only opinions that matter are yours and the baby's.

OP, you're going to need practical support with bf (assuming you've previously ff, or even if you've bf before). It takes lots of sitting around a night feeds to establish your supply. You presumably won't get this support from your OH. Is there anyone else you can look to for support?

Other things we can't agree on are co sleeping, whether the baby needs a Moses basket.

I'm trying to answer all questions but it's moving so fast.

That's fine. If he doesn't want to see it, he can fuck off out of the room and sit outside! Under no circumstances should you leave the room.

and he reckons he would really be happy to get up during the night?! maybe for a couple of nights and then the novelty wears off

"I'm sorry you don't support my choice to breastfeed. I will be breastfeeding anyway, with or without your support."

I heard on here a good one - the only person's approval that matters re breastfeeding is your baby's. I've saved this up as I think my ILs are twitchy about it (They can't say the word breast feeding, they have to use euphemistic language)

has this stupidity altered your opinion of him at all ?

because I would be currently worrying I chose the wrong father for my child in your situation