Thereisnoplacelikehome Mon 02-Mar-15 12:10:18
I've told him expressing messes up your supply especially in the early days. I've told him it's about supply and demand and it's very clever. I've also told him expressing enough for one feed takes a long time. He just looks at me like I'm crazy. He refuses to read up on it.
Hmm, I've expressed from day 4 until 4 months when DS finally got it. No formula. It is possible, but very difficult and not something I would recommend unless you have a problem. Its stressful and time consuming. I relied on DH being supportive and doing more so I could do it. Its not just about giving the baby a bottle in the middle of the night. Its about, hours and hours of doing housework and holding the baby whilst I express.
It does have some benefits - you don't have to feed in public, and DH does get some time to feed with DS and bond with him too to a degree. But even then I can't see why you wouldn't breastfeed if you could given the pitfalls. It doesn't make sense, in terms of time, effort, money or health. Especially since there is virtually no support out there for it, and you have to rip up the rule book to do it.
His argument is that science is better than nature. Which isn't true. Not for breastfeeding. And in general, not for most things. Evolution is incredibly clever for example...
I do think there is something to be said for engaging men in how you feed the baby to a degree. If a woman is obsessed with breastfeeding to the detriment of the child or herself, then I do think a partner really does have the right to say something. This could be for physical or mental health reasons. But I think that cases like this are very limited indeed.
I also think that its not down to the fact that its a woman's body either and ownership of her breasts. Its down to who is the primary care giver and who will be looking after the baby most. If she takes maternity leave and takes on that roll, then its effectively her job and she manages that. She needs to makes the day to day decisions about the everyday tasks within that roll. Why would you work in a more inefficient way when you have limited time and resources and a faster more effective method is available? It doesn't make economic or business sense does it?
Would he be happy if you told him what to cook, how to cook and he had to cook for you in a particular way? Would he be happy if you told him how to do his day to day job?
Put things into terms that suit your argument in a way he understands.
But to be honest that's all beside the point anyway. You'll stay with him, but he is an utter cock. Its not about what's best for the baby and you. This is about what is best for him and that's ultimately selfish. And he is refusing to put your needs and your baby's needs ahead of his own misguided and ill educated nonsense.
And that's what you need to get into your head the most.