To have made 7yr old start this letter again - so upset by his selfishness

[lecce]

It is to my elderly aunt who sent a few bits and pieces for him with my parents at half-term. She usually comes with them but was not well enough to travel and we are all aware that she may not make the journey again (3.5 hours). I am extremely close to her and the dc both adore her. She is the most child-friendly person ever (no children of her own) and it has been lovely for me to see her with my dc and remember how she was with me when I was a child.

It is relevant to know that dc is a very strong writer and frequently gets certificates for his writing at school, on top table etc - it's not a struggle for him. Despite this he never wants to write at home. Luckily, the school is not big on homework, but if he does ever have any a huge tantrum ensues - until he actually starts it and then he gets into and enjoys it .

So I asked him to write his thank-you letter this afternoon and he came quite willingly. Ten minutes later he handed me this:

Dear X
Thank you for the thing you sent.
We went to London in half-term.
Forest won today!
Love from X

So no paragraphs, just a short list of rushed sentences. No asking after her, looking forward to seeing her etc (we do thank-you letters, he should know how to end them).

AiBU to have told him it wasn't good enough and that he has to do another one. He is screaming the house down, chuntering about 'a million sentences', 'ten hundred hours of writing' etc etc

I feel like crying - it is his utter selfishness that upsets me. He is usually lovely and commended for his sensitivity by teachers etc, so why can't he be arsed for his elderly relative?

He's only 7. Letter looks perfectly ok to me.

Yes I'd make him write it again, first explaining why it's not sufficient.

Do you think you might just be over-reacting a tiny bit because you are worried about her health/her not being around much longer?

i think your being ott in your reaction, its not the end of the world, nor is it a biggie. if your not happy with what he has wrote tell him t do it again,

Yabu. He is 7 you asked him to write a thank you letter he did.

Could you ask him to draw a picture to send with the note?

hmm. Middle ground, I think.

the letter is quite funny but great aunt may not share my sense of humour, so I agree that despite the high teenage-level drama, he can try again and make a little more of an effort.

there is a template for this kind of thing as you describe, so it really won't take him long.

If he's easily capable of more then yanbu. Just 3-4 extra sentences would really make it much more polite.

A slightly OTT response!

He is 7, ok, it's not great I agree, I would make him redo it, but without all the angst! (Yours not his)

He's only 7! If you wanted it to be exactly how you stipulate then you should have supervised him and not sent him off on his own to do it.

I think YABU to ask him to do it again.

Yabu. I think it's fine for a 7 year old but if you feel it deserves more I'd ask him to do a picture to go with it.

I would probably explain why i wanted it longer, that it's probably good to ask how she is and something like that.

I agree that he needs to make more effort.

Assuming he would normally write more for a thank you letter (only you know this fact) then yes he should rewrite it. Obviously for some seven year olds this would be a good letter, but from your reaction this is not for him. So I agree with you.

He's 7, it's Saturday, he has written a letter as requested. YABU.

My DS (9) is exactly the same - good at reading, writing etc, but makes a huge fuss about homework (he gets a fair bit). I find he has to be in the right mood when it comes to thank you letters. Sometimes he'll make a fuss about just having to write his name on a card, but other times he'll write a lovely letter and draw a picture - just depends on his mood. I think your DS's letter is pretty standard for a 7 year old, but if you're not happy with it then maybe it's worth leaving it for now and asking him to do it another time?

Perhaps he could type it or he could dictate and you could type it, then he could sign it and draw a picture too.

Yabu...that's a perfectly fine letter for a 7 year old to write...if he was 12, you'd have a point.

If you had such specific expectations of what the letter should say, you really should have provided some guidance whilst he was writing it.

I think that's pretty sketchy for a 7 yo, really.

And turning out a proper bread-and-butter thank you note is such a useful skill that I think it is worth insisting on a better effort. Because it's only practice when young that gives the automacity when older. It's a quick and easy way to make a positive impression, and to increase social/workplace capital (or whatever the jargon is).

Why not work with him and together decide what you want him to say then you write it and get him to copy it down.

I think maybe a bit more guidance from you about whats appropriate. Letter writing is a skill. It needs to be learnt. Maybe sit with him, chat about how special your aunt is, make it a bit of bonding time. Warm drink, biscuits?

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. I have a 7 year old too, she's a lovely wee thing but ask her to sign her name in a birthday card & she turns into an eyerolling, underneath her breath tutting strop fest. It's just not her thing, tbh I'm not sure cards will ever be her thing. Doesn't mean she doesn't love the person they're meant for. I think his note reads lovely, very 7 year oldish

Selfish? He's 7. Of course he's selfish.
Get him to do a nice picture to go with it, perhaps of him playong with the "thing" your aunt sent. And include a recent photo of him too.
You sound rather Victorian in your attitude, tbh.