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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it isn't always possible for a lone parent to work with preschool children?

150 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 28/02/2015 13:39

I was thinking about this from another thread, but I promise this is not a TAAT.

Depending on the age gaps between the children, nursery or childminder fees could just work out too high making working literally too expensive! Plus, not all work is 9-5 and round the clock childcare in the form of a nanny is beyond many people cost-wise.

AIBU? In a way I want to be told I am but I don't think I am...

OP posts:
meglet · 28/02/2015 13:42

yanbu. I'm a LP who has always worked. It was only possible because my family could fill in the gaps between nursery and school. tax credits helped but it wasn't the full amount.

meglet · 28/02/2015 13:45

it's not cheaper or easier once they're at school tbh. childcare tax credits don't cover holiday clubs, I think gingerbread are trying to get this changed.

ghostyslovesheep · 28/02/2015 13:45

Tax credits pay up to 70% of your childcare if you are a lone parent

I am a LP to 3 - became one when my kids where 6,4 and 8mths - I have always worked - you just manage

ghostyslovesheep · 28/02/2015 13:46

Meglet Tax Credits cover my holiday clubs - as they are OFSTED registered

Kewcumber · 28/02/2015 13:51

Lots of school aged holiday clubs are NOT ofsted registered. None of DS's are notone single bloody one of them.

I was able to work pre-school because my mum provided some childcare otherwise it would have been a big struggle. Not all lone parents qualify for tax credits and if you have a very big mortgage (eg my previous one!) it can be a financial squeeze.

If you add to that a child with any kind of additional need and childcare becaomes a lot more problematic if you don;t have family support or a very understanding employer. Thankfully I had both.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 28/02/2015 13:51

Ghosty - "up to"

And what do you do if you had a job with anti-social hours? And when they are ill and nursery won't take them?

I'm not trying to be facetious but "you just manage" - what if you CAN'T?

OP posts:
meglet · 28/02/2015 13:53

ghosty I'm not eligible for school holiday help unless the change in costs is more than 4 weeks (my usual after school clubs are much cheaper). so half term, Xmas and easter hols aren't covered even though I only use ofsted clubs. I had several phone calls to HMRC last year.

ElsaLitcha · 28/02/2015 13:55

YANBU. Add in the fun of trying to find a job that doesn't expect you to be available every second of the day in the first place. How do I "just manage" that?

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 28/02/2015 13:55

Also, I've just worked out that even if TC paid 70% of nursery fees, I'd still have to pay £500 myself, which isn't a small amount of money.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 28/02/2015 14:07

Elsa - when I was looking for a part-time job as an accountant, most companies seemed to think that "part-time" meant you left before 7pm! Grin

I work for myself now - poorer but more flexible.

I am lucky to have this choice and a local retired mother.

CundtBake · 28/02/2015 14:11

Yanbu. When I had DS I had no qualifications. There was no help available if I chose to study. No family support. London rent.

Smoorikins · 28/02/2015 14:15

Yanbu. I suspect there aren't enough jobs with pre-school children to ensure that all lone patents could get one of them. Mind you, some probably don't want jobs with preschool children. Some might want to work with adults.

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 14:19

Yabu

I managed. I was broke until they went to school but it paid off as I then got a promotion soon after and I've got those years 'under my belt' in terms of experience and pension

It is doable

And before I get the living in the south east gem, I do.

I didn't run a car, cycled or walked everywhere, didn't take holidays away but I still maintain it was worth it

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 28/02/2015 14:24

Flippity - I'm pleased; I think that is fantastic.

But, how and how many children!?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 28/02/2015 14:27

You do have to play the long game a bit. If you're in a dead end job or don't have a job to begin with then it's pretty soul destroying.

The government currently does not require lone parents to look for work until their youngest child is at school full time. They encourage it, yes, but they don't require it.

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 14:27

Good childminder Who was en route to work, and I made sure I worked locally to where I lived at the time. I shopped cheap and I utilised the time the ex had the dc to put in overtime (still do!)

girliefriend · 28/02/2015 14:31

yabu I think, tax credits pay a large percentage of the childcare as long as its registered (fair enough) plus you should be getting some money from the absent parent (in theory although I don't).

Yes money will be tight but you are still better off working imo then claiming benefits.

Agreed re lack of unsocial hours childcare though and also if no local family to help out then this complicates things when children are unwell etc.

Kewcumber · 28/02/2015 14:33

And I don;t have an ex who has the children. At all. SO again hurrah for my mother!

countessmarkyabitch · 28/02/2015 14:33

Of course it isn't always possible. It probably isn't even usually possible. I doubt very much that anyone suggested that it was.

Kewcumber · 28/02/2015 14:34

as long as its registered (fair enough)

Good luck with that around here once they're school age. ALl the local holiday clubs aren;t registered. Even the after school clubs here aren;t registered.

Staff are all CRB checked but not ofsted registered.

ghostyslovesheep · 28/02/2015 14:34

I work some evenings and Sats - ex has them - when they are ill we split if 50/50 I take unpaid leave or Dependants Leave - he is self employed and takes them into work

at a push his mother might have them but she is 85 so we don;t tend to ask

I have never had an issue with claiming for holiday clubs - I'm worried now knowing how TC feck things up - I claim for 6 weeks a year though (3 in summer, 1 half term and Easter)

I think it's can be very hard but I don't think it's impossible

ghostyslovesheep · 28/02/2015 14:37

I'm surprised about clubs not being OFSTED registered - legally they are supposed to be - school based clubs use the schools OFSTED the rest - if providing childcare have to be

Jackieharris · 28/02/2015 14:43

I was a lp working ft with 1 pre school aged DC.

The full seated of child/working and childcare tax credits were almost exactly the same as the cost of ft nursery.

I did it by always working ft in a 9-5 office job in a sector which had a 'everyone leaves at 5pm' culture.

I had a degree and a little work experience so I was never on less than £17k.

I was able to buy a flat so my mortgage cost £350pcm (less than renting).

However I wouldn't have been able to do it without a car as there was no public transport between nursery & work that would have got me there for 9am.
When DC went to school tax credits covered £7pd asc and £16pd holiday club.

DC was never ill so that wasn't an issue.

Kewcumber · 28/02/2015 14:44

I checked with HMRC - school based clubs which use schools ofsted can't be claimed because its who you pay the money to that counts and its paid to a company that isn't offsted registered to no go.

Most holidays clubs DS uses do not call themselves "childcare" they are sports clubs - tennis, football etc and not ofsted registered. That seems to be the norm here when they're aimed at school age children.

Kewcumber · 28/02/2015 14:46

No I don't think its impossible - I did it! But I was very lucky as I said with a flexible employer and a mother offsetting the lack of ex partner providing either childcare or financial support.