To think it isn't always possible for a lone parent to work with preschool children?

[turquoiseamethyst]

I was thinking about this from another thread, but I promise this is not a TAAT.

Depending on the age gaps between the children, nursery or childminder fees could just work out too high making working literally too expensive! Plus, not all work is 9-5 and round the clock childcare in the form of a nanny is beyond many people cost-wise.

AIBU? In a way I want to be told I am but I don't think I am...

I was adding up easter holiday childcare. it's £52 a day (no tax credits help because it's only for 2 weeks). I earn £54 a day.

It's less hassle to take unpaid parental leave than be run ragged all the time. no ex to take the kids either.

Yanbu I am married with two boys but even we can't afford childcare if we both work as we can't earn enough sobs have no idea how a lp could do it

No disagree that i should have been more careful about family planning. If my had met me just half way with the responsibilities we'd have been ok. Even so, having children shouldnt be the luxury of the rich.

Or another reward for those who met a grwat man. The rest of us can be parents too but with more support and more understanding.
Comments about family planning arent appropriate.

With regards to childcare in the school holidays, don't you just work out your childcare costs for the whole year (which includes these times?) then divide by 52 to give a weekly amount.

My childcare costs change most weeks, so I give a middling figure (so some weeks I pay more out my pocket, some weeks I have more money than TC's give).

I keep a close eye on it, and will update it with a new figure if it isn't looking accurate.

I appreciate this takes some forward planning and being able to work out a rough idea of the costs ahead. But it is doable.

Don't let TC's say you can't claim for holiday care! Just roll it up in to your usual costs.

YANBU. Ideally you need

• only one or two kids
• a supportive family or friends who will cover when you child is sick, out of school care or in service days
• an ex who does at least some childcare
• a job with regular hours , preferably 9-5
• a short commute to work
• enough qualifications or skills to Earn a reasonable wage and progress up the career ladder

I think if you have three or more kids, no family support and are in a minumim wage job or work shifts, it's very hard / impossible . Childminders or nurseries won't cover shifts . Long commutes put you outside nursery hours .

yy Katie

And of course you need NT kids. Or ND ones that nusery /childminder will accept

Oh ,AndYou need to space them out well, so you don't end up with 2 under 2 , as that's impossibly expensive at nursery and hard for child minders.

So really , quite a long list of things you need to plan in advance or have a crystal ball

Unless your DC have some form of special needs in my view it's always possible to work.

I have no family, worked ft with my eldest DC from when he was 7 months. His father is not on the scene. He was ill sometimes, I took annual leave when he was. Others I just had to send him to his CM. There were no tax credits then (DS is 16 now) but childcare was cheaper. That said it wasn't easy financially but I had a mortgage to pay so there was no alternative but to work.

I've been a single parent also for the last 7 years. And again always worked. My DC are both secondary school age now, so it's easier and for the last 3 years I've had no childcare costs as since the DC were 13/10 I've been able to leave them at home in the holidays/ after school (eldest left from 10). I'm sure lots of people will get all cats bum over that, because children shouldn't be on their own for 10+ hours a day, but as far as I'm concerned it is as it is. My DC were too old for a childminder and we have no family. So no choice really!

It's possible to work.

It might not be possible to find work that is enough to cancel out childcare costs.

I'm expecting DC3 in July. DC2 will only be 15 months; I can't afford to have them both in nursery at the same time!

I think the reason it worked for me was that I had dc1 when I was youngish so I built my career up with childcare in mind from day 1.

I knew from my late teens that nurseries were only open m-f 8-6 so if I wanted a career & kids (my life plan ) I had to pick a career I could do in those hours.

I had no help from my parents and DC father f*ed off before DC was born. So it was nursery or bust for me.

I also planned ahead with things like choosing to move to a primary catchment that had a good cheap 50 weeks of the year after school care.

I also waited til dc1 was at school before having dc2 so I never had 2x nursery fees.

I think becoming a lp when you are older and more establishe in a career/a geographic area it's much harder.

Yanbu, but somehow I've managed it.

I work very unsociable hours, but thankfully my parents have filled in the gaps that nursery couldn't do. I actually find it harder now dd is at school

I can't see how.

I have two very small kids, toddler and a baby. Nursery for two of them for full time would be £1800. Ok, let's say I get 70% of that paid, that's still £1260 I'd have to find to pay for it.

In my job, full time, I would take home £1300.

So...go on then..how the hell would I manage on that!

Anyway, I do work, but pt and for myself. Two days for nursery, this costs £800 and I get £400 a month towards this. So I still have to find £400 to pay. I earn about £600 on a good month. So I'm £200 up. Which is doable, as I do actually have a husband, so my wage is just topping up so to speak.

I don't believe nursery is expensive perse. What I find annoying is that I would actually be financially much better off if I was single/lone parent that myself and husband are now. Last year we only earnt £19k together, yet we received no help with rent, no council tax help, no free nursery for our 2 yr old etc etc etc. However, I would have got help had I been on my own.

detective I called them to see if I could do it like that but was told I couldn't.They would spot it when they audited it anyway and I would have to repay. gingerbread are trying to get it changed.

I'll have a look at that Meglet.

They told me to calculate average costs, so I did. I can't see any reason why this would be an issue. You don't have to have childcare that stays the same each week, or only have one provider etc etc. I'll go and read on this further :).

Using a CM for holiday care is also an option (if the holiday club isn't ofsted registered).

Blazing A LP on 19k wouldn't get HB, CTB or free nursery for 2 yr olds either. There's no such thing as LP benefits.

Meglet the official guidelines from hmrc give examples of how to calculate the average weekly amount taking into account both childcare during term and holiday time.

www.revenuebenefits.org.uk/pdf/WTC_5.pdf

Ah, so it appears you can do what I've suggested, but only if you are paying regularly for childcare.

So it's fine to do this if you are paying for before/afterschool care.

Yes, some women make unwise career choices as teenagers and cannot afford childcare. Many of us though earn 100k + as we saw on the women who earn £1k a day thread a while back so of course you cannot generalise. The average IQ is only 100 and the average wage just £25k or something like that.

Yanbu. I did it but at huge financial struggle.

Meg I think you can get round the childcare and holiday thing if you use same supplier by providing the details, and working out your weekly childcare costs over the year. Because I work term time only this is how I did it - as was told to do it this way.

I earn 34k and am still entitled to hb!

I don't claim it though as I do have a partner who is unemployed but sometimes gets offered a days work here and there and I'm too scared of being accused of committing benefit fraud.

I used to receive full benefits for me and 2 children.

No I wouldn't be able to work without family help. I think it's different if a lone parent was already working and had a job to go back to; then you'd just get on with it. But a lone parent on benefits- well it's so much hard work with very little (if any ) reward.

As I've earned more money, I've lost my tax credits and my rents gone up every year. I had more money when I earned about 10k less and got tax credits and a lot of housing benefit.

If I had to do it all on my own and pay childcare (which I'm lucky enough not to need) then I don't think I'd actually bother. I might even have another baby to keep the job centre off my back!

You've got to do what's best for your family.

I think from my experience it is possible as long as there is the right job, nursery etc out there.

It is also possible to work with disabled children, again if the right job, care etc is available.

It is possible to study, once again, if the right course, childcare etc is out there.

Ime and imo this varies widely from area to area even within the same county. Some areas the cost of rent is higher than others, nursery costs are higher etc - but the wages are still the same for the same job elsewhere. Then there's the issue that of of course you could move somewhere cheaper but that's not always a solution because the jobs available are 10-15 miles away, transport is expensive (eating up the saved rent), or the commute means you can't use the nursery because the hours you work don't allows for a long commute etc etc.

I've always believed just because some people manage doesn't mean that everyone will be in the same boat and be able to do it. I don't think judging others is helpful in today's already struggling society. (Not accusing anyone here of judging but it does happen all over the boards and elsewhere in tinterweb land).

And whoever said there are no LP benefits - that is my biggest bugbear! Everyone assumes because I'm a LP I bet HB etc. I am always trying to explain the minute you work you are tax credits - just like everyone else!

I'm confused.

People who are working can still claim housing benefit.

You can still receive tax credits AND hb if you're working- obviously depending on what you earn and what your rent is.

As I said, I earn 34k and am still entitled to something towards my rent which is 750pm.

A family earning 19k should be entitled to hb.

Yes you can claim both. However they are both a means tested benefit - they are not dependent on you being a LP. The rates also vary widely dependent on local rental rates etc. But that still means in an area (say a city) some areas will have cheaper rents than others. It's not always easy to live in a cheaper email area and commute to a workplace. There is so much more factors than just childcare when being a LP. In fact, if you read at lot of SAHM threads - the reason they SAHP isn't always because they are in a high earning bracket - it's that there is no financial gain for them working so it makes financial sense for them to stay at home.

Sadly - there is no easy answer and so there cannot be any hard and fast rules.

Back when my mum and aunts were parents of school age children there were lots of shop jobs going that offered 10-2 contracts. They don't really even exist anymore. 8-4 is around, although most companies want people who can work shifts with a weeks notice with high streets changing nowadays and the increase in 24 hours supermarkets.
The world of work has changed but the affordability of life has not changed with it.

An 'advantage' I found as a lp was that the amount of tax credits and thus childcare tax credit was based on my pay not the combined income of a couple.

Therefore say on a scenario of a woman earning £20k ft in a 9-5 job (must be plenty of those?) if she is a lp she will get quite a lot of tax credits, probably enough to cover childcare costs. But if she is in a couple and he is also on £20k they won't get any tax credits so she could be left working for very little, or nothing if she has more than one dc.

I wanted to be a wohm (pre dc, didn't change tbh) so actually being a lp was easier for me to keep working than when I acquired a dp!