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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it isn't always possible for a lone parent to work with preschool children?

150 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 28/02/2015 13:39

I was thinking about this from another thread, but I promise this is not a TAAT.

Depending on the age gaps between the children, nursery or childminder fees could just work out too high making working literally too expensive! Plus, not all work is 9-5 and round the clock childcare in the form of a nanny is beyond many people cost-wise.

AIBU? In a way I want to be told I am but I don't think I am...

OP posts:
bronya · 28/02/2015 20:20

I do wonder. With a take home salary of £21000 and two children under three in full time nursery, at £52 a day each, even with 70% paid through ctc, that would leave only about £800 per month to live on. Even council rent for a 2 bed is £400 a month here. So £400 left plus child benefit for food, clothes, utilities, phone of some sort. And that presumes you work nursery friendly hours...

TheDetective · 28/02/2015 20:30

Well my scenario would be working 15 hours. Earning 20k. 3 kids, 2 in FT childcare @30 per day (reduction for 2nd child can't remember how much it is off the top of my head) plus any unsocial hours I need on top of FT childcare (variable amount).

Tax credits and child benefit totalled a lot. I've forgotten off the top of my head, but I've got it all written down somewhere.

When I am back at work following mat leave my spare money after mortgage, childcare, bills, food, petrol and all expenses is circa 1k a month.

Totally worth me working for. :)

TheDetective · 28/02/2015 20:34

Although tax credits say you get up to 80% of childcare paid, you do get ctc/wtc on top of that. I think on my £16000 pay during mat leave with £60 a week childcare costs, I'll get £1100 on top of child benefit and wages.

Don't quote me on exact amounts. I only know it's all absolutely doable for me. I've got it all calculated and worked out. As I say after all bills I will have anywhere from 800-2000 disposable income per month (get full pay in first 2 months so I'll save 1k a month from those first 2 months to keep for the time where my wages will be 0).

TheDetective · 28/02/2015 20:38

If anyone is curious, you can put your own details in to a benefits calculator. www.entitledto.co.uk

www.listentotaxman.com is how I work out wages after tax etc so I can work out my net pay.

CombineBananaFister · 28/02/2015 20:44

I don't think it's about anyone thing tbh OR necessarily easier or harder if you are a LP or couple, it's individual circumstances - there are just randomly placed cut-off points and if you work outside 9-5 you're screwed for paid childcare - it's all relative.

Me and DH both work but can't afford childcare and get little help despite us both being on low wages. luckily we both work unsociable hours so we work opposite unsociable hours and Ds always has one of us so am really grateful Having said that we see each other 4 weeks a year Sad.

My SIL is a LP and works part-time termtime only and gets lots of help so is effectively in a better position financially and maybe lifestyle wise but I don't begrudge her - it's just how it works out. The whole system is inherently unfair. Simply, too many variables. Wish they'd tackle the high-end tax problem instead of the non-working and working-class making us all haters of each other

JillyR2015 · 28/02/2015 20:53

I know someone paid £60k a year maintenanec from the father too which obviously makes things easier financially (and in my case I paid him - the other way round - children 365 nights a year with me - his choice, not mine, I work full time, I pay ex husband and support the children 100% and no tax credits either ever.... and no housing benefit and now child benefit stripped from me too.

Jackieharris · 28/02/2015 20:55

It was a whole ago but I think my total tax credits as a lp of 1dc was £140-170pwk. Plus child benefit on top. That left me with my full salary for all the normal living expenses.

Bronya- with your scenario my first though is those DCs must be very close together to have 2 under 3s in nursery. Most women I know now take the full year's mat leave. Tbh my advice to any would be wohm is to have big age gaps!

Also as a lp with 1dc I didn't move into a 2 bed flat until DC was almost 4. We were fine in a 1 bed just the 2 of us especially as we were both out of the house 50 hours a week!
Also at that age I didn't have to worry about catchment areas so we lived in a very cheap shithole area.

bronya · 28/02/2015 21:13

Just did the calculator. If one of us was left alone, we would get £280 per week total. Childcare would be about £500 a week. Part of the problem is that childcare has to be £300 or less for 2 children. If a parent works 11 hours a day plus travel time, even at £4 per hour per child, you are looking at £480 (and rates are higher here). So with those calculations we would have £300 a week to live on. At £800 pcm market rent for a 2 bed flat that would leave £400 a month for food, utilities, clothing, house insurance, phone, transport to work...

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 21:17

I was a single parent back in the day where you couldn't claim benefits and keep your maintenance money. I have heard off too many women who effectively get a good salary in maintenance but can also claim full state benefits, it's ridiculous

SunnyBaudelaire · 28/02/2015 21:30

"women who effectively get a good salary in maintenance"
really? A 'good salary'? you mean they receive over 2000 a month just in maintenance? I seriously doubt it.
Besides, maintenance can and does just stop without warning.

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 21:34

I mean around £1k plus a month of which there are many. I know two myself.

I just find it galling they get what I earn by working and can still claim full state benefits whereas if my DH were out of work, we couldn't.

SunnyBaudelaire · 28/02/2015 21:37

well 1k a month is not a 'good salary' is it?
get real.

Starlightbright1 · 28/02/2015 21:40

Lots of people don't manage.. I didn't .

My job was in nursing..shift work. No option to do anything else.

My Ex wasn't allowed DS unsupervised , no family support.. Had to move to a new town where we knew nobody and my DS had separation issues.

I was on benefits till D started school , I do not believe it was in mine or DS benefit to work.

I have not returned to nursing I earn much less but have found a job that works around my childcare. Incidently the training I needed for this job I was only able to do once I knew someone who would look after my DS while I did my training.

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 21:42

It is in my book having lived off that for quite some time. If I had got that plus my rent and council tax paid and got income support full tax credits free school meals and dental etc etc Id never have needed to go back to work!

SunnyBaudelaire · 28/02/2015 21:44

yes but as I said, the maintence money can stop from one month to the next.
Besides I do not even think it is that easy to stay on out of work benefits as a single mother these days.

happybubblebrain · 28/02/2015 21:50

yanub

I'm a lone parent without any support from exp or any family or a car. I've always been able to work. But I've been lucky that I've had the same employer for many years and they've allowed me occasional time off when necessary. I've also been lucky to find good nurseries. I'm also lucky to be in a reasonably secure financial position (even without any contribution whatsoever from exp). Plus, I've always told myself - 'where there's a will there's a way', and even when it has been very hard at work (bullying etc), I've kept on going because the alternative (not working) would have been far far worse.

I think everyone has a different set of circumstances. I can see how work would be impossible for some people.

SoonToBeSix · 28/02/2015 21:53

Meglet yes you are able to have holiday costs for less than four weeks. You just need to work out the YEARLY average and give tax credits that figure.

ghostyslovesheep · 28/02/2015 21:58

OP I'm sorry if you think I was saying it was easy or always possible - I know it's not - it's bloody hard even if you can manage it x

I was just giving my experiences x

Yes soon That's what I do - calculate 6 weeks holiday club (usually £!60 a week) and divide by 52

SurlyCue · 28/02/2015 21:58

Nursery for two of them for full time would be £1800. Ok, let's say I get 70% of that paid, that's still £1260 I'd have to find to pay for it.

No, thats £1260 that would be covered. You would have to pay the remaining £540.

SurlyCue · 28/02/2015 22:02

can still claim full state benefits

6 years ive been here and still no-one who has used the phrase has ever explained what they mean by "full benefits"when asked.

Could you explain what full benefits are ohflippity?

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 22:04

I already have explained it surlycue if you read my post timed 21:42

ghostyslovesheep · 28/02/2015 22:13

I earn just over £1k a month (with a masters degree and 19 years in the same profession) mainly because I went PT when I had the kids (duel income) and when he left we had a hiring freeze (public sector) 6 years on I can still not increase my hours so I'm on 17,400 a year (full time it would be £28,500)

it's tough but with TC and CB it's doable - for us

SunnyBaudelaire · 28/02/2015 22:20

"If I had got that plus my rent and council tax paid and got income support full tax credits free school meals and dental "
people on benefits do not get all their rent and council tax paid btw, it is not possible just to stay on income support as a single parent. and all children get free dental treatment.
so perhaps your opinion is a little outdated.

SurlyCue · 28/02/2015 22:23

If I had got that plus my rent and council tax paid and got income support full tax credits free school meals and dental etc etc Id never have needed to go back to work!

^this post? You mention rent, counil tax, income support, "full tax credits" (again- what is "full" tax credits? Do you mean this person got the maximum amount of every type of tax credit possible?), free school meals and 'dental'. Not sure if you aware, i assume not, but there are a wide range of benefits available in the UK, including but not only job seekers allowance, disability living allowance, maternity allowance, carers allowance, incapacity benefit (think that has a different name now?) and many many more- some of which mean others are not applicable to you. I think you will find, if you were bothered to look, that it is not actually possible for anyone to get "full benefits" but rather a select few that are relevant to their circumstances.

Quite frankly "full benefits" is a meaningless term as it doesnt exist.

OhFlippityBolax · 28/02/2015 22:24

yes adults get free dental care and free prescriptions still (which considering I have 12 prescriptions a month would negate the cost of my prepayment card!) and getting the majority of/close to all rent paid and getting council tax paid (yes providing you are legitimately occipying the right number of bedrooms) plus having the equivalent of my salary in maintenance is being in a lot better position than I was in as a single parent. So yes I do believe it is entirely possible to work and be a single parent in more cases than I think people are comfortable to admit to.

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