AIBU to find a letter from school addressed to Mr and Mrs offensive?

[SunnyBaudelaire]

or am I being over sensitive?

DD enrolled in D of E and since then I get endless mail, from a teacher at the school who is in charge of it. The last one was addressed to ,
'Mr and Mrs Baudelaire'.

Right there never has been a Mr Baudelaire as I did not change my name on marriage. Anyway we are divorced now and he has nothing to do with us.

The school's contact details would make this quite clear, plus we have had enough meetings with the school over the years for this to be known!
DD is now in year 11. REally I am hoping to let off steam here and not send a vitriolic message to the school!

AIBU? It is the assumptions that annoy me.

yeh and do you know what really fucking offends me?
passive aggressive little winky faces.
LOL

I know 2 women who use Ms both single I don't know anybody who doesn't use their husband s name

The women who married young tended to change their name. The ones who waited longer or who had already started on an academic career or who identified fairly strongly as feminists tended to keep their names. And a lot of my friends are feminists who have worked in academia at some point and got married I their thirties or later.

All letters concerning my DCs are addresses to Dear Parent/carer of child X.

I don't particularly like it but in the scheme of things I don't really care. other things to worry about

Yes, I find this mildly irritating too (married but have always used own surname). I can understand why you might finding it v irritating given the circumstances that you have described re your ex husband.
I think it is rude to call someone by a name which is incorrect (regardless of whether or not teachers are doing d of e on a voluntary basis) and old fashioned and foolish to assume that all families consist of two married parents with the same surname as all the children in that household.

There are also some really daft and irrelevant comments on here about default being Mr and Mrs because two married parents is best for children and links to Debretts.

I can't understand the logic of this either 'Not every household have 2 parents not every household have 2 married parents so the default has to be mr and mrs and the op needs to get over herself'

I clicked on the thread expecting to think YABU, but I'd be irritated too. They're writing to a person who does not exist, and they should be aware that the days of Mr & Mrs being a catch-all are gone. Write back, correcting their mistake.

Haha loofah you beat me to it, personally I think MN needs a better variety of smily faces.

Yanbu as it's a bit lazy on the teachers part and they could have used parent guardian, but perhaps they are fairly recently qualified .

As a side note, organising d of e will be taking up a ridiculous amount of their time, and they are under no obligation to organise this, and they certainly aren't getting paid for it, so I'd probably get a little perspective on this occasion

I kept my own name on marriage , wouldn't have dreamed of doing anything else and am happy for it to be preceded by either Miss or Ms. A bit horrified when I read of lots of women changing their names and can't really understand it, though obviously they are free to call themselves whatever they like.

As for schools, surely using a standard 'Dear Parent/ Guardian'is quick, simple and causes no offence.

My dd's school have managed to get their heads round the fact I have a different surname. However, they insist on calling me MrsGuidelines, even though they know I am using my "birth" name.

Agree with early post from moonatic

And an edit button ^smiley

"personally I think MN needs a better variety of smily faces."
yes like the Skype ones, esp the secret Skype ones. they really do give the opportunity to be offensive. lol. go on google 'secret skype emoticons'.

What I don't understand is that whoever addressed the letter must have gone to the appropriate bit of the pupil's record, found the address and then made up the names. Why would you do that?

Someone I know has recently changed her name legally to Mrs DP's name, although they aren't married....

I'd be a bit offended to receive that letter to be honest...but not as offended as I am reading BatteryPoweredHen's comments!

thank you Hak, exactly.

They're writing to a person who does not exist Yet it reached it's destination just fine, did it not?
Would it really take being addressed at Parent of XX instead of Mrs. XX to soothe your ruffled feathers??

There is only one solution, Sunny, you need to acquire a title. This might help,

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Title

What do you fancy? Grand Mufti sounds unusual...That'll show them!

look flggingmolly there is no need to attempt to be patronising about this.
I have described my circs and have taken on board people's thoughts. Yet you are continuing to talk down to me about my 'ruffled feathers'. This is not necessary is it?

yes I like Grand Mufti haha thanks

I am hardly going to waste the school receptionist's precious time with this, am I?

REally I am hoping to let off steam here and not send a vitriolic message to the school!

Contradictory!

Just politely remind them that there is no Mr SunnyB.....should be the end of it.

do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself.

If DD is not doing the D of E, then just chuck said letters in bin and have a nice cup of tea.