Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be feeling mortified about this facebook post

194 replies

moodymargaret78 · 24/02/2015 17:30

background. We have 2ds aged 7 and 5. dh has a good job. His salary pays all the bills. I do a bit of party plan but mainly I am a sahm to 2 dc who are now at school. I have been toying with the idea of going back to work but dh didn't seem that keen. Well unless term time only.
I have lost 2 close family members in the last 18 months so I probably haven't been firing on all cylinders. Even so I generally manage to do housework etc during the week. Weekends involve any additional laundry such as swimming stuff and I iron on Sundays. During the week dh doesn't have to lift a finger. I do bedtime, cook and wash up etc. At weekends he does a few bits but I still do almost everything. It seemed like a fair split and I though dh agreed.
Anyway during half term I did various local thjngs with dc but also spent 2 separate days visiting siblings who live further away. As we lost our mum 5 months ago this is important.
Anyway I have been browsing facebook for work purposes and saw this post from dh.
So moody is off visiting her sister. So yet another day where nothing gets done in the house. Why can't she see that if we both do our jobs during the week than we can relax and spend time with kids at the weekend.
I am a little shell shocked. Aibu to be feeling mortified and hurt about this. Obviously need to have calm conversation later and ask him to delete.

OP posts:
SnakeyMcBadass · 24/02/2015 17:32

I'd be bloody furious. How dare he be such a twat? Calm discussion my arse Angry

Blueboatinghat · 24/02/2015 17:32

That is SO RUDE.

YANBU!

Jemimapuddlemuck · 24/02/2015 17:33

YANBU that's horrible. Is it definitely on his public wall and not a private message?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 24/02/2015 17:33

YADNBU I can't stand it when people slag people off on Facebook let alone their family/partner ffs

motorwaymadness · 24/02/2015 17:34

go on strike.... dont lift a finger.

he will soon see what you do if you stop.
why would you bother doing anything if he has an attitude like that!

thefirstmrsrochester · 24/02/2015 17:35

If this had be my DH, a conversation would need to be had later and I would not trust myself to remain calm. He has been appallingly disrespectful.

It's your DH who should be feeling mortified by taking such a low shot.

YANBU. Not a tiny bit.

toomuchtooold · 24/02/2015 17:35

That's horrible. You need to have words.

BoyScout · 24/02/2015 17:35

I'd be fucking livid. Not only for what he said but also for posting criticism of you so publicly.

AnnieLobeseder · 24/02/2015 17:35

My marriage would be over if I saw that. And the truth, as harsh as it may seem, is that your marriage is probably over if he has so little respect both for you as a person and for the role you play in your partnership. I'm sorry.

Smellyfeet123 · 24/02/2015 17:36

Bloody hell Shock I don't blame you for feeling mortified- I'd have phoned him telling him to delete it straight away and would be having serious words. Don't think I could stay calm actually, I'm not a lairy person but I think this is really rude x

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/02/2015 17:36

That is an utterly vile thing for him to do! I am gobsmacked that he would be that nasty on a public forum.

If he has a problem, he should strap on his big boy pants and have a civilised, adult discussion with you.

Sorry this is happening to you.

livsmommy · 24/02/2015 17:36

I to would be furious. What an absolute dick. I would want to rip his head off, not have a calm discussion!

Lj8893 · 24/02/2015 17:37

Who the hell does he think he is!!!! How fucking rude, i have the rage for you!

FunkyPeacock · 24/02/2015 17:38

YANBU - very nobbish comment to make

Irrelevant whether you are a SAHM or not it seems bizarre to resent your wife taking the kids off for the day during school hols to meet up with friends/family

KatieScarlettreregged · 24/02/2015 17:38

I would rip him several new ones. So many in fact he would never sit comfortably again.
Passive agressive snidey fucker. Who died and made him the boss of you?
Get angry.

Nomama · 24/02/2015 17:39

Personally, if that were written by my DH, I would probably tear his ears off.

Write yourself a list of all the reasons why that post is so very disrespectful.

Start with the simple fact that, like him, you do have things to do outside the house, other than see to the kids and to his comfort.

End with the very firm threat that if he ever airs his dirty washing in public again you will [pick your threat]. Ask him how he would feel if he read [insert your take on his bone idleness at a specific time - make it really unfair, so he feels the injustice]?

We all know that when he posted that he was a pillock. Only you know if he is like that all the time. Have at him Smile

steff13 · 24/02/2015 17:39

Wow. I don't have any advice, but I don't think you're being unreasonable. He has no right to put private marital issues out in public like that.

The prankster in me would be tempted to change my marital status on my FB page from "married" to "it's complicated."

whothehellknows · 24/02/2015 17:40

Yeah, I'd be staying over at the sibling's indefinitely to give him time to reflect on all the things that I do around the house. I'm not certain I'd be able to get past that.

kewtogetin · 24/02/2015 17:40

Pack his bags, throw them out with a note attached 'job:done'
Seriously, what a fucking selfish arsehole. To moan on Facebook instead of having a proper discussion is childish and ridiculous. Shellshocked would be the least emotion I would be feeling right now.

OhTheThingsYouCanThink · 24/02/2015 17:41

Sorry - but that's an awful thing for him to have said. It shows absolutely no respect. I am in exactly the same situation as you (but only one DS-age 8). I do all the house stuff during the week - weekends are completely free for family time. DH works jolly hard. Though does do bathtime and bedtime 2-3 times a week if home early enough and does it at the weekend - as well as spending all his time with DS and letting me do whatever I want. He'll do anything for DS - but won't entertain the idea of cleaning!
Sorry, but if you spend your week cleaning - then how dirty could it be if you missed a few days? I am sorry, but the fact he called you Moody and was IMO very rude - and on Facebook for anyone to see, I wouldn't be being very pleasant to him to night. In fact I might have packed his bags.

soverylucky · 24/02/2015 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justabitoh · 24/02/2015 17:41

This sounds very hurtful. Poor you.

Was it a private message to someone or was it something he posted as a status for everyone to see?

HootyMcTooty · 24/02/2015 17:41

I'd be fucking furious. I'm not entirely sure that your division of labour sounds completely fair from what you've posted, but mainly I'd be furious about a public criticism of me. Never would I air any dispute with anyone publicly like that, it's just rude and deliberately inflammatory. However, any reasonable person who read such a post would probably thing he's an absolute nob (I'd probably have said something to that effect if something like that popped up in my newsfeed).

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 24/02/2015 17:42

You need to have words. Serious words and some swear words too. How fucking rude!

Make sure you copy and paste what he's said as proof so he can't deny it and delete them. Although he should delete it but not before you've had chance to rip him a new one.

ajandjjmum · 24/02/2015 17:43

Well done you if you can make it a calm conversation - I'd be absolutely furious. Little git!!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread