to be feeling mortified about this facebook post

[moodymargaret78]

background. We have 2ds aged 7 and 5. dh has a good job. His salary pays all the bills. I do a bit of party plan but mainly I am a sahm to 2 dc who are now at school. I have been toying with the idea of going back to work but dh didn't seem that keen. Well unless term time only.
I have lost 2 close family members in the last 18 months so I probably haven't been firing on all cylinders. Even so I generally manage to do housework etc during the week. Weekends involve any additional laundry such as swimming stuff and I iron on Sundays. During the week dh doesn't have to lift a finger. I do bedtime, cook and wash up etc. At weekends he does a few bits but I still do almost everything. It seemed like a fair split and I though dh agreed.
Anyway during half term I did various local thjngs with dc but also spent 2 separate days visiting siblings who live further away. As we lost our mum 5 months ago this is important.
Anyway I have been browsing facebook for work purposes and saw this post from dh.
So moody is off visiting her sister. So yet another day where nothing gets done in the house. Why can't she see that if we both do our jobs during the week than we can relax and spend time with kids at the weekend.
I am a little shell shocked. Aibu to be feeling mortified and hurt about this. Obviously need to have calm conversation later and ask him to delete.

How very dare he?! I would reply on the post (but I can be a bit confrontational) saying in order to be so rude, uncaring and disrespectful he's clearly had his account hacked as no husband would be that unpleasant, and then if it's possible report to fb that you think his account has been hacked, as it would be just desserts for him to lose his fb whilst the confusion gets fixed especially if like my DH who does no house work ever he lives on facebook

Has anyone dared to 'like' this status??!

Ahhhh...just realised you put he called you moody in as that's your MN name - not that he described you as Moody. Still, doesn't change my opinion. He's horrible.

Ohthethings.. OP's name is Moody-don't think her DH called her Moody on FB. I think that is so disrespectful and hurtful OP , It would really upset me if I thought my DH looked at me in that way...that I was pretty much here to just do my jobs and keep the house clean.

I would at the very least be going away for 2 weeks. Preferably on his credit card Alone and leaving him to it. What a nob.

Yes I wondered whether anyone had actually replied to it. If I read anything like that that on any of my friend's FB it would make me feel really uncomfortable. If it was a male friend I'd be putting a comment saying exactly what I thought of his horrible disrespectful attitude.

That is bloody, bloody nasty.

Did you have the kids with you?

If so, WTF needed doing.

I'm raging & wanting to cry for you.

You lost your mum 5 months ago?

I'm so sorry it's awful.

I had a toddler & newborn when I lost my mum so had to look after them.

i probably just about kept on top of the washing & ironing.

If my kids had been old enough to look after themselves/do stuff around the house I don't know how long it would have been before I did anything of any note.

This seems very disrespectful. I would struggle to be angry as I would be so, so upset and that would be the overriding emotion for me. Was it for all to see? Don't know what to say really. Maybe a sugary ? Sorry he is being a mean arsehole.

Cunt of the highest order

I'm a bit worried that you felt the need to post this in aibu, as if there is any question at all about his behaviour - I feel that it goes without saying that yanbu

Did you take kids with you to see siblings. If not it only makes it slightly less horrible. But horrible all the same.

Honestly, what is there to do that can't wait a couple of days?

I really don't get it.

must you never go anywhere then, OP?

I assume that you're never ill!

I don't think I would even be angry about this, I would have jumped over angry to totally gutted, heartbroken actually that not only had my DH been thinking these things about our relationship, and me in particular, but that he felt it appropriate to publicise it on facebook.
Gutted for you Moody.

wow - he's the one who should be very embarrassed. I remember rolling my eyes at a couple having a passive aggressive discussion on fb. They both participated in the discussion though. and they both looked undiginified.

He is the one who comes out af this looking bad I think.

My mouth hit the floor reading what he posted. What an utter asshole, if my partner had done that they would have hear the yelling in Australia!

We are not living in the 1950s, there aren't 'roles' to play in keeping a house running. If he wants the house clean and tidy, maybe he can pull his finger out and give you (and your family) time to grieve.

I mean this in the nicest way, but get a job. Or volunteer, or do a course (such as collage or uni). It's time for you to remember who you are, that is more than wife, mum and free maid.

Well I'd be heading back to work as soon as possible.

Had you taken the dcs with you, or was he at home with them for the day?

If the later, surely he's capable of doing any odd jobs while he's there? And if the former, surely you can be 'spared' from your household duties for a few hours?

That's a horrible thing for him to say about you so publicly. And what does he mean by 'yet another day' when nothing gets done? Has he been openly critical of you before?

I would say bugger having a calm conversation too.

It sound to me like your DH has no respect for you at all. It's one things to have a conversation with your other half if you think the balance isn't right. It's completely different to slag them off all over Facebook. As other posters have said I would be beyond gutted and I really feel for you OP.

I don't think I would trust myself to speak to him.

Completely disrespectful.

Hope you are OK OP?
Remember, this is his problem, don't make it yours.
And kill him

I would be absolutely furious with him. No question about that. It's disrespectful and he is 100% in the wrong.

However, he does have a point. If you are at home 5 days a week whilst the children are at school, then really it is your job to do all the house stuff, ironing etc. 2 hours a day spent doing the boring stuff should free up your weekend (school holidays not included!). Maybe he wants to spend quality family time at the weekend or something. Unless there is a medical reason or something for it not getting done. He works out of the house during the week, and you work in the house.

I'm lazy. That's my excuse for not doing the housework. I have 4DC including 2 pre school age children. They go to nursery for 6 hours a week, and I should do the housework during that time. But I don't, I like to sit and drink coffee and read instead. But, I'm a single parent so I don't have to worry about divison of labour or anything.

He thinks it's a good idea to wash his dirty laundry in public? What the fuck was going through his head?

Never mind delete the post I would expect him to delete his FB account. What an arsehole publically dressing you down like that, so passive aggressive.

Well I'd be heading back to work as soon as possible.

Me too. That is such an arrogant, patronising, unfeeling and horrible thing to say about your wife in front of everyone. I'd be gutted.

I just couldn't trust a man who did this to be mature enough to value my work as a stay at home parent and be fair financially.

Id also be very tempted to post something derogatory about his earning capacity ("Congrats XX on your promotion, so wish Mr. Moody's performance at work was better, he hasn't been promoted in years!"). Well I'd fantasise about it anyway.

Wow! That is a shitty thing to do.

YANBU

I would be very hurt and upset if my DH did that - especially on such a public forum.

I hope he apologises and is able to make it up to you in some way.