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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be feeling mortified about this facebook post

194 replies

moodymargaret78 · 24/02/2015 17:30

background. We have 2ds aged 7 and 5. dh has a good job. His salary pays all the bills. I do a bit of party plan but mainly I am a sahm to 2 dc who are now at school. I have been toying with the idea of going back to work but dh didn't seem that keen. Well unless term time only.
I have lost 2 close family members in the last 18 months so I probably haven't been firing on all cylinders. Even so I generally manage to do housework etc during the week. Weekends involve any additional laundry such as swimming stuff and I iron on Sundays. During the week dh doesn't have to lift a finger. I do bedtime, cook and wash up etc. At weekends he does a few bits but I still do almost everything. It seemed like a fair split and I though dh agreed.
Anyway during half term I did various local thjngs with dc but also spent 2 separate days visiting siblings who live further away. As we lost our mum 5 months ago this is important.
Anyway I have been browsing facebook for work purposes and saw this post from dh.
So moody is off visiting her sister. So yet another day where nothing gets done in the house. Why can't she see that if we both do our jobs during the week than we can relax and spend time with kids at the weekend.
I am a little shell shocked. Aibu to be feeling mortified and hurt about this. Obviously need to have calm conversation later and ask him to delete.

OP posts:
jerryfudd · 24/02/2015 18:50

I'm a sahm and like you took last week off normal chores to keep 2 five year olds and 3 year old entertained every day. Yes the house was looking unloved but I'm just kicking it back in to touch this week. No problem. The world did not stop turning because I didn't dust or run the vac round every day.

I would be so hurt if my dh uttered such a thing to me let alone posted it on fb!

I think he sees you as nothing more than his skivy now. It seems clear why he's not keen on you returning to work - he may have to actually lift a finger! Might be time to return to work and make sure childcare costs come out of his wage and if he doesn't want to share cleaning and laundry duty he should pay for that too. I wouldn't pay it out of your wage, I think you'd be wise to squirrel that away in case he doesn't change and you don't fancy being his slave and need out

Aeroflotgirl · 24/02/2015 18:51

OP has said she does all the cooking,cleaning and childcare so he does not have to lift a finger, she is his wife not his slave!

Aeroflotgirl · 24/02/2015 18:52

OP has had family loses recently and has not been herself, and she is partly running her own business, what does he do!

Aeroflotgirl · 24/02/2015 18:52

Oh she lost her mum 5 months ago, and there he is slagging her off in public, nice!

prettywhiteguitar · 24/02/2015 18:52

I would be ripping him a new one, who the hell does he think he is ?

Had anyone commented ?

okeydonkey · 24/02/2015 18:53

Sorry I would leave him for that. Public humiliation, childish to write so much on FB (sorry hate fb), airing dirty laundry, disrespect for the work you do.
I'd be off!!

nipersvest · 24/02/2015 18:55

did any of his fb friends like or comment on that status update?, if dh had written that about me, we have a lot of mutual friends that would rip him to pieces on my behalf.

CSIJanner · 24/02/2015 18:55

Moody - did anyone comment underneath or like? Hopefully someone had a word.

FenellaFellorick · 24/02/2015 18:56

I would be furious and humiliated. He needs to know just how unacceptable it was to type that. It was utterly scornful and you have the right to know if he does indeed view you with contempt.

ahbollocks · 24/02/2015 18:56

My jaw is pretty undroppable but holy fuck on toast I am stunned.

YouTheCat · 24/02/2015 18:57

So basically his dinner wasn't on the table whilst you spent time with your children and grieving relatives and he throws his toys out of the pram.

What a knob! I'd be packing his bags whilst he's away and telling him to fuck off.

woowoo22 · 24/02/2015 18:58

I would leave him too. Utter disrespect for you.

moodymargaret78 · 24/02/2015 18:58

no comments or likes etc.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 24/02/2015 18:58

YANBU to be mortified and shell shocked.

So upsetting and humiliating for you.

What a stupid wanker he is.

I'd have to take some time out of the relationship to see whether I wanted to go forward with him, I think. It'd take a long while to get my head around something so hurtful.

CSIJanner · 24/02/2015 18:59

SorryI- pressed send to soon! Hopefully someone had a word as this is nasty and totally unsupportive. Hope you can have a few pointed words with him soon.

I'd also shred his season ticket but then I'm a bitch like that. He wants family time, suck it up and lose the football unless you take both DC's.

Bowlersarm · 24/02/2015 19:00

I shouldn't think there will be comments or likes. People must be shaking their heads in disbelief.

JammyGem · 24/02/2015 19:03

Absolutely disgusting.

If it were me I wouldn't bother asking him to delete or even asking to talk, I'd be out the door.

Kaekae · 24/02/2015 19:03

How childish to write that on Facebook? I would be giving him a serious earful about it...just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean you can't have a life and viist people or that you are some sort of a slave.

PerpendicularVincenzo · 24/02/2015 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McFox · 24/02/2015 19:05

What an absolute arsehole. I couldn't stay with someone who thought that, never mind had the audacity to put it on fb. Disgusting behaviour.

ChipDip · 24/02/2015 19:09

What an absolute twat! He has now let all his fb friends and the world know what he thinks of you. It's one thing to say something just to you, but to humiliate you to everyone is actually unforgivable. Shock

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 24/02/2015 19:10

Can you send him a link to this thread? on Facebook

What do you think you're going to do OP? I'm sorry. What a bellend he is.

carlywurly · 24/02/2015 19:12

That's really spiteful of him. If he doesn't have form for this shit I'd be giving him a royal bollocking. If he does, I'd be off. I'm sorry, it all sounds very wearing Hmm

Lloydgeorge · 24/02/2015 19:13

What a disloyal fuckwit.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 24/02/2015 19:13

Awful, awful, awful. Totally disrespectful and very hurtful. What are you going to do? Is this a surprise to you? Is he normally this horrible?

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