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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend said this was pfb

400 replies

holidayroad · 24/02/2015 14:17

I was talking to my friend the other day, she asked what schools I put down for my DD's primary school admission (she starts reception in September).

The schools near me are all oversubscribed and we have visited 5 of them. I explained that we had struggled to narrow down our choice after visiting the first 5, so arranged to visit them all again just before the closing date.

One school refused to allow us a 2nd visit - now I appreciate that it is a big school and a lot of parents want their DC to go there, but I used their refusal to allow us a 2nd visit as a basis to rule that school out as I feel if they are not prepared to go above and beyond for us on the selection basis then they cannot possibly be the best school for my DC.

My friend has DC at this school and said I was being ridiculously pfb to expect them to arrange a 2nd visit.

I think this is too important a decision to be taken lightly.

So over to you, who is BU?

OP posts:
MrsCampbellBlack · 24/02/2015 15:00

Does it work like that holiday if they're all over subscribed? If you don't put your catchment school down isn't there a danger you end up without a school place?

ImperialBlether · 24/02/2015 15:01

Do you have that much say, though? I know you can put down a first choice but that doesn't mean you'll get it.

MagratsHair · 24/02/2015 15:04

Ah holiday if you don't put down the catchment school & you don't get a place at any of the other schools you may get a school even further out that is not one of the 5.

Each school will have its admissions priority on the website, perhaps just look at the other 4 to see if you are likely to get into any of them.

MrsTawdry · 24/02/2015 15:06

I suppose she took your judgement of the school personally. It's not surprising since her DC are there. YABU to be so outspoken to her. You didn't need to be negative about the school to her.

steff13 · 24/02/2015 15:08

one of the others will have to accommodate us

Do they HAVE to accomodate you, though? How much choice do you have in the matter, if all the schools are oversubscribed?

I don't really understand how it works there. Here, if you choose to go to public school, you generally go to the one closest to your house. If you want to go to a different one, you have to request a place, and if there is a place available, you can have it. Or you can go private or to a charter school.

MagratsHair · 24/02/2015 15:09

Also (my 3rd post so far, sorry I'm rushing I have to leave to pick my own up)

Your level of involvement so far in this whole process suggests to me that your DCs will do well whichever school they attend as they will have firm support for their education at home, from you :)

BrieAndChilli · 24/02/2015 15:09

Add message | Report | Message poster holidayroad Tue 24-Feb-15 14:57:15
Some schools are a drive and some walking distance. catchment school is the one that didn't give us a second visit so it's out. one of the others will have to accommodate us

It doesn't work like that, if all schools are popular and oversubscribed you run a real risk of getting none of your choice and being shipped miles away to a school no one else wanted.
YABU to discount your catchment on such a non ctritical reason as catchment school unless in special measures is a good school to include in your choices as a safety net to avoid getting a terrible school

pettyprudence · 24/02/2015 15:10

Same BeCool! My ds has gone to the school at the end of our street, bonus that it is a welsh language school. Dd will go too obvs but zero research on my part. I have to say I am from a teaching family though so i did no research based on advice from several teachers.

MidniteScribbler · 24/02/2015 15:11

I think you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. You are overestimating just how much choice you will really have when it comes to getting into a school if they are all oversubscribed. If you don't put the school down that is your catchment, then you could end up miles away. The other four schools are very likely going to be filled up from their own catchments.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 24/02/2015 15:11

If all the other schools are oversubscribed, then you may not be offered a place if you are out of catchment. And you haven't put down your catchment school.

You are risking your child being given a place at a school you don't want them to go to, do you realise that?

RainbowFlutterby · 24/02/2015 15:14

Ummm... I'm really sorry holiday, but the other schools might not have to accommodate you.

You need to check out the Admission Priorities and see how far down the list you are and then check out what priority the last available school place went to in recent years.

You may end up at any old school!

BrieAndChilli · 24/02/2015 15:18

Lus if you don't put down your catchment school you won't be eligible for school transport as you only get it if you don't obtain a place at your closest school so if you apply for places at schools a b c d and e in that order with c being your catchment you would only be eligible for free transport to schools d and e

MirandaWest · 24/02/2015 15:19

When we moved up here I visited a lot of schools to work out which one was right for my DCs. We weren't moving in the normal application cycle so they had to be private visits. If I hadn't been able to visit its unlikely the DC would have gone to that school.

However not putting your catchment school really wasn't a great thing to do. If your DC isn't allocated a place at one of the other schools you've put down then they may be allocated a place at a school much further away that you hadn't chosen and haven't looked at.

MrsTawdry · 24/02/2015 15:23

Miranda that happened to my friend. She put down one school with an outstanding ofsted that she wasn't in catchment for and no others. She got a failing one 5 miles away.

EauPea · 24/02/2015 15:25

When I was looking at schools for DD (now in reception), our initial look round was a private visit and we were told that if we wanted to come again at any point, to just give them a quick call first.

Although just noticed the 150 applications last year, Dd's school is rural and quite small, not even 100 pupils in total so this might go towards the difference in attitude.

wigglesrock · 24/02/2015 15:33

I think you're making a bit of a silly error, not putting down the catchment school because they didn't go above and beyond. My youngest is the same age as yours, I can't imagine ruling out the closest school because of that reason.

dotsanddashes · 24/02/2015 15:36

If your local schools are oversubscribed then you have ZERO choice. As a first born, presumably with no SEN, then you will be allocated the school closest to you by geographical proximity, and there is a definition for what that is too.
Really sorry, but you do not have a choice per se, you have the right to allocate preferences, which is not guaranteed and is not the same thing.

This is a reality where I live. My first child was given one of 20 available spaces in a three form entry school due to the high level of sibling links that year. I know others who had to take three buses to get the school they were allocated whilst on the waiting list for their choice. That waiting list for one of them didn't open up till Yr3. The schools who have places for those who miss are not necessarily the greatest hence they have spaces.

Please think carefully before acting in haste over something that isn't even to do with this schools academic achievements, there will be no going back if you make the wrong decision.

DustyGold · 24/02/2015 15:43

I think, although irritating they will not allow a 2nd visit, you should put them down as one of your choices for a safety net as others have said.
Someone said about going to events? Ask your friend if any coming up.
Also, would a chat to someone help with questions you have if a visit not on the cards.
Irritating no 2nd visit but as your nearest school will be best to have as a choice somewhere on your list, even if at the bottom of it.
Good luck.

LiegeAndLief · 24/02/2015 15:43

I hope that smiley face means that was a joke, and you don't really think that one of the others will have to accommodate you.

If they are all oversubscribed and you don't put down the catchment school, you will get none of them.

Personally I think a school can be great without falling over themselves to get your business. Maybe they have had many requests for private visits and so have had to say no. That fact that they are not that bothered whether your PFB attends their school doesn't mean they wouldn't do a great job with her if she went.

DeeWe · 24/02/2015 15:43

The thing is that you are seeing yourself as the one having a second look round.

But you may well not be the only one.

One local oversubscribed school starts having parents requesting visits from just after Easter for 15 months' time. Several of the parents (it's only 2 form entry, so not a huge school) were requesting second and even third. In September they will be showing visitors round 3-5 days a week. So that's why they don't want followup visits unless it's for a specific purpose (eg speaking to SENCO)

Some parents object if it isn't the head showing them round.
Some parents expect to have a long chat to the head afterwards.
Some parents try and get the head to promise them a place. Grin Goes down well that one.

But here's the really silly thing. About 1/4-1/3 of the visitors live so far away from the school there isn't a outside chance of them getting in under normal circumstances. The head does ask where they live, and if they are in that situation will let them know gently that they are very unlikely to get in from where they live. Very few of those will decide not to look round anyway.

one of the others will have to accommodate us I'm sure plenty of people will tell you this isn't the case. If the others are oversubscribed with closer children then you'll be given the nearest one with spaces.

QueenofallIsee · 24/02/2015 15:50

Sorry OP but it is a bit of a pretense in many places that parents even get that much say in where the children go to school - you tour round, get a feel for them and then really get what you are given! If you have 5 over subscribed schools and your catchment school is decent, in my opinion you will be mental to not put them down on your application form - most especially if you consider that you would have to appeal against the LA decision should they stick you somewhere you are really against and your justification for not considering your acceptable catchment school would see you laughed out of the place.

Notonthestairs · 24/02/2015 15:51

A second visit wont help much.

If you have specific questions then why not call the HM?

Or get in contact with parents with children already at your preferred choice of schools and asking them what they think.

And I hate to burst your bubble but we applied for our three closest schools and were given one 5 miles away - there were 13 nearer schools between our house and the school. A freak year of siblings and you are screwed.
We went through clearing and got the school 6th closest!

ToffeeCaramel · 24/02/2015 15:52

OP has already submitted the application and awaiting the result.

NotGoingOut17 · 24/02/2015 15:56

I also think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face , it could be the perfect school for dd and I actually agree with others, the fact they aren't desperate to accommodate you could be a good sign.

I also think if you haven't managed to narrow it down after your 1st visit another visit isn't going to help much. I could understand you struggling between 2 maybe 3 schools but if I've understood correctly you haven't been able to narrow the 5 down at all in which case I wonder if a further visit will help

BrieAndChilli · 24/02/2015 15:57

Sep 2015 is a very busy year. Our school has 24 siblings applying for 30 places. Luckily ds2 is a sibling but means there will only be 6 spaces left for others and if a special need/in care child or children the spaces lessen even more.
School applications isn't just about what school you want, you also need to apply tactically taking into account previous intakes and distances offered, catchment areas and siblings applying etc.