Friend said this was pfb

[holidayroad]

I was talking to my friend the other day, she asked what schools I put down for my DD's primary school admission (she starts reception in September).

The schools near me are all oversubscribed and we have visited 5 of them. I explained that we had struggled to narrow down our choice after visiting the first 5, so arranged to visit them all again just before the closing date.

One school refused to allow us a 2nd visit - now I appreciate that it is a big school and a lot of parents want their DC to go there, but I used their refusal to allow us a 2nd visit as a basis to rule that school out as I feel if they are not prepared to go above and beyond for us on the selection basis then they cannot possibly be the best school for my DC.

My friend has DC at this school and said I was being ridiculously pfb to expect them to arrange a 2nd visit.

I think this is too important a decision to be taken lightly.

So over to you, who is BU?

do you know what's strange.

the OP could have just LIED about her placement and could have easily come back here and said "She got in! I knew I would beat the system!"

Here in the land of "everyone goes to their local school" (Scotland) even one personal visit seems like luxury. Don't know how common it is, but our local (well-reputed) secondary school doesn't have an Open Day AND won't allow individual visits. They have a visit day for students registered to start at the school in August, but only for them, and they have it in June.

This means that, having chosen an independent school at primary, the only way we could opt back into the state sector at secondary level would be to commit to the local school sight unseen. (I think it's not quite that bad for those at the feeder primaries, because they have occasional events at "their" secondary, and presumably the many sibling links also help. The main reason it's acceptable, though, is that most people don't have a choice of school anyway.)

I can see it from the school's point of view, but do get irritated by people saying "aren't you going to even consider [local school]?"!

00100001 I agree. Was thinking, just before I saw this thread had been resurrected, that we'd probably never know what the outcome was. Hence my doubts. Maybe it's a reverse thread, and the OP is actually the "friend."

I hope you're not regretting your decision OP?

I noticed that school application date for 2016 is coming up, OP and I remembered your thread from last year. What happened in the end? Did you find a suitable place for your DD, or is she still at home?

Isn't this the thread that people to link to and warn parents about?

If you are choosing a residential home for a parent it is a requirement that you can visit without appointment at an time ( although you would be encouraged to make an appointment) I can't see that the precious early years education of a child is any less important. YANBU, their attitude stinks.

Yup, pfb. And if your child did get into that school you would be back here next year complaining about how many visitors the school gets, how there are constantly people wandering through your child's assembly, PE lesson etc. What makes you think that you are such a superior parent to be so sure that few of the other 150 parents will want to do a second visit? You know this how?

Pants, must read ALL of thread, not just first two pages! Mind you, my opinion is still the same.

The poor OP has massively misunderstood the "choice" element of primary schools. The statement: " One of the others will just have to accommodate us" shows that.

Also, totally PFB asking for two private tours, you went to the open day, you got a private tour. If they gave 2 private tours to EVERY parent that had a prospective child going there they could be giving 200 plus a year which would distract from the job of educating students.

Basically, your idea about choice made you massively fuck this up didn't? You thought the schools have to be working hard to get you when in fact its not like that at all. Do your research properly next time.

Well, now I have read all 16 pages! What a car crash, seen in advance by everyone except the OP. Although it is an old thread, it is actually quite relevant this week with application closing date for this year approaching. Anyone else labouring under the misapprehension that the school admission rules don't somehow apply to them and that their desired school will somehow have to make space for their exceptional child should definitely take note! If you care enough about your pfb to want second visits to possible schools, you should care enough to read the admission regulations and determine if you will actually have a chance of getting a place.

I agree its a huge overwhelming decision, but I do think, with a bit of forward planning, there are enough opportunties to visit schools and make a decision - you could have gone to the open day last year as well, personal recommendations, sat outside school gates and observed children/parents, gone to their public events (fayres, concerts whatever).

If you really had some more specific questions of your final 1 or 2 schools (such as Learning Support) then maybe a visit to that teacher, but just your own personal tour??? YABU

It is certainly the thread I always link when school admissions discussions come up, Leelu6. A zombie now, but still relevant.

Seen this played out in rl, including the smugness when discounting good schools for better, pie-in-the sky ones and the stubborn idea that a school picked means a place received.

Its not often I have "I told you so" moments, but this thread gave me that.

I cant help wondering what the OP is up to now!

I am with you, actually, though it's a close call.

I don't think you are being pfb but I do think you are overthinking the whole school thing which a few years down the line I suspect you will realise. This is a lot easier for those with children already in school to understand but that first ever application can seem so so important and such a difficult choice when faced with mountains of data from schools, parents, ofted, schools themselves. I don't think you should rule the school out just because they say they can't schedule another visit and go with your gut on what you thought of it when you did see it. If it is your catchment school and has a good reputation then you would be foolish to dismiss it IMO

oh lord this thread is terrifing reading! OP - are you still reading/on MN? If your DC is not 5 yet, so are you HEing or have you got a place at a school you are happy with?

I too call PFB.
You have visited the school privately, you went to the open day. Primary schools have lots to do without bringing parents on a second personal visit. If you can't make up your mind then it is not the school for you.

ooo zombie thread, sorry!

Yes but is the one you refused the most likely one you will get place in for PFB? If the other schools are too far away and oversubscribed then you are cutting your nose off to spite your face. If not, fine. Also don't underestimate the fact that you can walk to the school. We have to drive now as moved and it makes the whole morning way more stressful, believe me.

Yep, pfb behaviour I'm afraid. But I don't blame you for trying to have a second visit at each school. Hope your DD gets in to a school you are happy with.

Chilly Zombie thread, she didnt get a place at any school they wanted so are keeping the child out of school until they do, presumably by foot stamping and tantrum throwing....

Yabu. My DCs school has 2 open days in the autumn term. They only do private visits for late submissions due to house moves or if there are good reasons for it eg a Sn child who needs to spend some time in the school "as is" etc

It's a bloody brilliant school. Fantastic teachers, Sensible uniform policy, good communication. Can't fault it.