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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend said this was pfb

400 replies

holidayroad · 24/02/2015 14:17

I was talking to my friend the other day, she asked what schools I put down for my DD's primary school admission (she starts reception in September).

The schools near me are all oversubscribed and we have visited 5 of them. I explained that we had struggled to narrow down our choice after visiting the first 5, so arranged to visit them all again just before the closing date.

One school refused to allow us a 2nd visit - now I appreciate that it is a big school and a lot of parents want their DC to go there, but I used their refusal to allow us a 2nd visit as a basis to rule that school out as I feel if they are not prepared to go above and beyond for us on the selection basis then they cannot possibly be the best school for my DC.

My friend has DC at this school and said I was being ridiculously pfb to expect them to arrange a 2nd visit.

I think this is too important a decision to be taken lightly.

So over to you, who is BU?

OP posts:
Theoretician · 24/02/2015 14:35

Wouldn't the most popular schools, presumably the best, be the ones least likely to bend over backwards to impress parents?

Surely it's the worst schools that will put in the most work selling themselves? (Unless they think they're so crap it's a hopeless task.)

DustyGold · 24/02/2015 14:36

A second visit could be different than the first. A chat to a member of SLT with questions you forgot the first time. I'm sure op not asking for repeat of the same tour.
A considerate school would sort something out even if just a reassuring phonecall to answer any questions if ridiculously busy.
Again, yanbu...

LittleBairn · 24/02/2015 14:36

They don't need to go above and beyond, they are over subscribed.
I can understand why they refused you they must be very busy with all parents wanting to visit, one visit should sufficient.

DustyGold · 24/02/2015 14:38

An up themselves, complacent attitude of we are so wonderful we don't have to reassure would put me right off...

VirginiaTonic · 24/02/2015 14:38

Just imagine if every parent did this? If a school have arranged open days specifically to cater for the prospective parents 9which is usually a lot of parents), then afterwards, every parent rings up and expects a private visit too? You do know that headteachers are very busy don't you?

sliceofsoup · 24/02/2015 14:43

YABU.

But then I have never really understood all the angst about choosing schools.

bumbleymummy · 24/02/2015 14:43

I'm really on the fence on this one. I completely agree that it's an important decision and it's hard to choose based on an open day. I think I would also judge a school if they weren't prepared to accommodate a second visit but then I can see that it's unreasonable for 150 parents to expect to be shown around privately after the open day Confused.

Iggly · 24/02/2015 14:44

Yabu

It might be a good school!

Original poster
holidayroad · 24/02/2015 14:45

Seems pretty much 50/50 then. I think if other schools manage it it shouldn't be such a hardship for them tbh.

OP posts:
Peony58890 · 24/02/2015 14:46

It's totally acceptable and not PFB to have a second visit. Choosing the right school for children is an important thing

BeCoolItWasMeWotKilledLucy · 24/02/2015 14:48

How hard a decision for you can it be? If you are applying for 5 oversubscribed schools, won't you just have to go where the council allocated your child a place? How much actual choice do you really have?

cartoonsaveme · 24/02/2015 14:49

The problem is that near us 3-5 x the number of people apply to each school as there are places. E.g. If there are 90 reception places up to 400 odd apply. There may only be 30 non sibling places in reality. That thus means 340 applications for 30 open places for instance. Our school staff know that about 300 of these 340 have no chance based on distance. They run lots of open sessions but it's too unrealistic to do lots of private viewings. The only schools that do that near us are the under subscribed RI ones who want to sell the school.

ZanyMobster · 24/02/2015 14:49

YANBU if you have only attended an evening open day, I would never send my DCs to a school I hadn't visited on a normal day rather than an open evening or something.

I am the least PFB type of person possible but surely most parents would want to see the school during the normal school day. Some schools have had an open day where people can just drop in during any part of the school day on a particular date, I am fine with this of course as there is no way a school can put anything on for a whole day but wouldn't just go to an open day outside the school day.

IME the HT does individual visits so no teachers are taken away from the school.

Bowlersarm · 24/02/2015 14:50

It's not 50/50! There are quite a few more YABU's. With a few on the fences.

Dusty has posted about three YAnbu's so far....

Cobain · 24/02/2015 14:51

If the schools are oversubscribed have you even really got a choice, in these types of area parental choice is just a load of crap.

DustyGold · 24/02/2015 14:52

4 Grin- yanbu...

Original poster
holidayroad · 24/02/2015 14:52

zany it wasn't an open evening it was an open day during school hours, I've never heard of an open evening to view a school tbh. thanks for the support though Smile

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 24/02/2015 14:53

Actually I'm going to go with YANBU because I know that if I couldn't decide I would want an extra visit. If I couldn't see a school a second time and was unsure about it from the open day then I wouldn't choose it.

Notso · 24/02/2015 14:54

I was just going to post that BeCool surely you are more than likely going to allocated the nearest one if they are all over subscribed.

I don't get the angst over picking a primary school either. Secondary is a bit different.

ToffeeCaramel · 24/02/2015 14:54

Are you near enough to all five oversubscribed schools that you would definitely get into them all? You might find that all five of them are not actually an option from where you live.

BeCoolItWasMeWotKilledLucy · 24/02/2015 14:55

I didn't visit my DC's school before DD1 started there Blush
I knew it had a great reputation and it is walking distance - sorted.

freelanceconundrum · 24/02/2015 14:55

PFB or are you the Dalai Lama?

Original poster
holidayroad · 24/02/2015 14:57

Some schools are a drive and some walking distance. catchment school is the one that didn't give us a second visit so it's out. one of the others will have to accommodate us Smile

OP posts:
DustyGold · 24/02/2015 14:58

Despite my views here, I actually went to the primary that was nearest to us. I had visit/ open day and then chat with Head on the phone as worried about a couple of things.
Walking to school a big plus to me.

DustyGold · 24/02/2015 14:59

Oh that is a nuisance holiday if you will have to drive...

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