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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people have really become unfriendly and self absorbed that they can't spare 2 minutes

196 replies

Patchworkpatty · 23/02/2015 18:28

So, I came home on the train to my little rural village station. Lots of commuters use it as free parking all day. Got in the car and the battery is flat , my fault entirely, oldish car and left the radio on Angry ..anyway, I have jump leads in the boot, so opened the bonnet and attached them and then asked (politely) each passing commuter walking to their car if they could give me a jump start... fifteen people, not one could help... the reasons varied from : sorry I'm in a hurry , I don't know how (I explained I did but then they were also in a hurry !) to its dhs car and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to ..and my favourite of all, I'm sorry I don't know how to open the bonnet !. Saddest of all was that all 15 were women and not one could spare 2 minutes. In the end called Dd1 who was fifteen miles away who rescued me. she knows how to change a tyre and jumpstart a car because we taught her when she first started to drive , she also knows how to open the bonnet. Aibu to think it wouldn't have been too much to ask ?

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 23/02/2015 18:32

That's so mean! Must admit I wouldn't have a clue how to jump start a car, good for you for making sure your children know.

Bambamb · 23/02/2015 18:34

YANBU and that absolutely sucks. What is wrong with people? :(

addicted2cake · 23/02/2015 18:35

Really surprising that they were all women. Next time ask a man!!! Be interesting to see if they are more willing to help.

specialsubject · 23/02/2015 18:39

if it was me: it is not a matter of two minutes, it would be a matter of not wanting to risk my car. There is a correct way to attach jump leads which you weren't doing, so I'd be nervous that I couldn't stop you before you damaged the car. I also don't have a new battery on my car and we may end up with two flats.

staying with you while you call your breakdown people, or lending you a phone if you don't have one - now that I would do and it would take a lot longer than two minutes.

Original poster
Patchworkpatty · 23/02/2015 18:40

feel so sorry for self, as freezing cold but proud of dd1 only 19 but knows her stuff ! Having doubts about 'karma' now as jumpstarted someone's car for them in the same place only 6weeks ago, this time , what goes around didn't come back.Hmm Really disappointed as small village too.. so can't even blame 'big city mentality' ..

OP posts:
NeverFinishWhatYouStarted · 23/02/2015 18:43

I wouldn't jump-start you as DH has told me it could damage my car. I would, however, offer you a lift somewhere or the use of my phone.

NeverFinishWhatYouStarted · 23/02/2015 18:45

Also, I'm assuming you are a woman. If you were a man, I'd be locking my doors and driving away.

SistersOfPercy · 23/02/2015 18:46

Jumpstarting may damage a cars ECU as well as cause other damage so I'm sorry but I'd have also been unwilling to do that.
I would however have offered a lift in the direction I was going and use of phone etc.

abear · 23/02/2015 18:48

I would definitely help in this situation and have done so in the past - hopefully Karma will get them, when they need help. Hopefully they were genuinely worried about damaging their own cars but I think I would have trusted that you knew how to do it if you had jump leads as you would be unlikely to have them without knowing how to use them.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 23/02/2015 18:48

Oh god, I always seem to be giving jumpstarts to various neighbours Shock can it really damage your own car? Even if its a 12 year old wreck?

TheGirlFromIpanema · 23/02/2015 18:49

Oops, sorry OP - YWNBU!

TinLizzie · 23/02/2015 18:49

Oh my word. I'm stunned. I would have helped you OP, and to hell with whether it affected my car or not! Sounds like you know what you're doing. Not wanting to 'risk' a car?

So sad that this is where we're all at - 15 people and not one of them was prepared to give you a little juice!

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 23/02/2015 18:49

I jump started my neighbours car last week and I was on crutches at the time

YANBU. Annoying as you did it for some one else too, no good deed goes unpunished eh?

Neverfinish, would you? I wouldn't let a stranger into my house admittedly, but attaching jump leads in a public place? I wouldn't worry whether it was a man or a woman.

TwoOddSocks · 23/02/2015 18:51

I wouldn't know how to do it either but I'd definitely stop to help. The only reason I could think not to would be if it was a very isolate dark station and it was someone who looked a bit scary (too paranoid probably).

Nomama · 23/02/2015 18:52

That's unbelievable! It isn't difficult, doesn't damage cars, and you never know when you will be the one who needs the favour returning.

Having said that, just to give you a chuckle. I have once driven away without giving someone a jump start.

Colleague (A) asked if I could jump start his car, I said yes, I have leads in my boot. So I looked at where his car was parked, drove my car and positioned the boot next to his bonnet. Another colleague (B) walked past and commiserated with A... who laughed and said he might be there a while as I had parked my car the wrong way round and the leads would never reach... he laughed loudly and leered at me quite patronisingly.

Colleague B looked a bit shocked and quickly shuffled his way round a corner in order to collapse laughing without being seen.

Me? Well, I smiled back at A, the put down the battery cover in the boot of my mid engined car, popped the jump leads on top, got in and drove away!

DisappointedOne · 23/02/2015 18:52

I would have helped you. (Was taught to change wheels, jump start, bump start, check spark plugs, change bulbs and change oil at about age 7. They're extremely important lifeskills.)

scousadelic · 23/02/2015 18:52

I agree with the others that I would be afraid of damaging my car as I don't know how to jumpstart a car correctly so wouldn't know if you were doing it right or not. I would happily give you a lift, make a call or wait with you, etc though

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 23/02/2015 18:53

Gosh lots of commuters, all female, all in a hurry. I wonder why they were in a hurry? It's a mystery.

Original poster
Patchworkpatty · 23/02/2015 18:55

specialsubject Sorry I have no idea what you are talking about . "there is a correct way to connect jump leads which you weren't doing" Sorry didn't realize you were hiding in the bushes ! If you were, I can assure you that despite being a woman I know exactly how to attach jump leads. Not rocket science, positive to positive and negative to negative. Turn on car, turn on flat battery car .. bingo . You sound like one of my unhelpful commuters, hope your battery never goes flat . !

OP posts:
HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 23/02/2015 18:59

I would have done. I did recently as well. In matalan car park. My big old discovery to their fiat multipla. I didn't have a clue what to do but the man did. My car was fine. It was broad daylight in a busy carpark on a Saturday afternoon.

He said I was about the 20th person he had asked and most hadn't even given him a reply just scurried past.

He offered me a cup of tea from his flask which I politely declined.

NeverFinishWhatYouStarted · 23/02/2015 19:01

Re "risking a car", a replacement ECU costs £££. Would you be willing to hand over, say £300 to a total stranger? I've just checked, and the cheapest replacment battery for my car is about £60. I've seen plenty of things ruined by people who said they knew what they were doing...

And, no, I wouldn't let a strange man attach jump leads, even in a public place.

LittleBairn · 23/02/2015 19:01

Why is it sadder they were all woman? I don't see why women should be held to a higher standard than men.

AgentProvocateur · 23/02/2015 19:03

"if you were a man I'd be licking my doors and driving away. " in a busy station car park at tea time? Really?! How sad some people live lives full of fear. It must make life hard

AgentProvocateur · 23/02/2015 19:04

locking.

NeverFinishWhatYouStarted · 23/02/2015 19:07

I don't live a life "full of fear" but life has taught me to be careful. You don't know anything about me or my circumstances, but save your condescension for someone else, thanks.