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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people have really become unfriendly and self absorbed that they can't spare 2 minutes

196 replies

Patchworkpatty · 23/02/2015 18:28

So, I came home on the train to my little rural village station. Lots of commuters use it as free parking all day. Got in the car and the battery is flat , my fault entirely, oldish car and left the radio on Angry ..anyway, I have jump leads in the boot, so opened the bonnet and attached them and then asked (politely) each passing commuter walking to their car if they could give me a jump start... fifteen people, not one could help... the reasons varied from : sorry I'm in a hurry , I don't know how (I explained I did but then they were also in a hurry !) to its dhs car and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to ..and my favourite of all, I'm sorry I don't know how to open the bonnet !. Saddest of all was that all 15 were women and not one could spare 2 minutes. In the end called Dd1 who was fifteen miles away who rescued me. she knows how to change a tyre and jumpstart a car because we taught her when she first started to drive , she also knows how to open the bonnet. Aibu to think it wouldn't have been too much to ask ?

OP posts:
DoJo · 23/02/2015 20:33

I completely agree basic car maintenance should be part of a driving test.

It is: www.gov.uk/government/publications/car-show-me-tell-me-vehicle-safety-questions/car-show-me-tell-me-vehicle-safety-questions

PurpleCrazyHorse · 23/02/2015 20:41

stubbonstains loosen the nuts a bit while the car is still on ground, then jack it up Grin or so I've heard.

TwatFaceBitch · 23/02/2015 20:42

GrinGrinGrinstuborn

Yes yes so did I Blush the bloody locking nut on the spare tyre on the back door wouldn't come off, I got a couple of blokes to try and help but they couldn't either so AA guy came then had to shear it off! Now if anyone actually wants to they can nick my spare.

InfinitySeven · 23/02/2015 20:43

We have two newish cars. A 63 plate Merc that had plenty of warnings against jump starting and a mini Coupe that probably would have done it but DP would have had that. He'd have helped, though.

TwatFaceBitch · 23/02/2015 20:47

dojo
by putting car maintenance, I meant changing tyres and jump starts too.

Good to see what is on the test now though, as i didn't have to when I took the test.

Morloth · 23/02/2015 20:53

$1 per minute for the first 10 minutes and then $10 per minute for every minute after that.

Spending 15 minutes jump starring your car would cost me $60.

Get breakdown cover.

stubbornstains · 23/02/2015 21:02

I did purple! (it was semi jacked but wouldn't go round IYSWIM). Still no joy. That's a good tip though- it just didn't work on that occasion Angry.

kittensinmydinner · 23/02/2015 21:17

Thanks for the replies everyone. just to clarify, to those who obviously haven't ever had a less than perfect brand new car, I connected the leads to the positive and negative to the appropriate terminals to be ready for any kind person who would offer help... And to those of you who think I don't know what I'm doing, I did a car maintenance evening class for a two terms at the local adult ed. Taught by a retired RAC mechanic. There is absolutely nothing wrong with connecting the leads to my battery, ....it was already dead as a dodo... I have jump started and been jump started hundreds of times over 35 yrs of driving, and never , ever ....has it 'blown up' someone's car battery. So thank you all those kind souls who said they would've helped. May your batteries never go flat !
As for 'couldn't be bothered to pay for AA, gree flag, etc. actually I do have it but as I was not in a vulnerable position ie on a motorway , or disabled, they would take over an hour. Whereas a jumpstart took precisely 2 minutes when dd arrived. Just to address the last point, why did I point out it was women ? Probably because it was and I was genuinely surprised to come across so many women of the fifteen who sounded like they were still living fifty years ago with the 'my dh wouldn't like it' and 'I don't know how to open the bonnet' . I have needed a jumpstart before in this car, about a year ago in a waitrose car park. I didn't even have to ask, I turned the key, heard that barely turning over sound and within seconds a man said 'I think you need a jump, do you have leads, if you don't, I do.' Just a whole different attitude ! . Both places within a couple of miles of each other, both in daylight in rural East Sussex, where normally we are pretty neighbourly and kind to each other ..unless , it seems you are a commuter with a brand new 4x4.

BetterTogether75 · 23/02/2015 21:17

What costs £1 per minute rising to £10 per minute? Confused Is it a stealth boast about earning £510 per hour?

kittensinmydinner · 23/02/2015 21:20

Sorry, for nc mid thread, for some reason wouldn't let me in as Patchwork ! But wanted to thank everyone.

TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 23/02/2015 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

londonrach · 23/02/2015 21:30

Sorry unless its very urgent i wont jump start a car again as last time i did my radio didnt work for two years. Had to return to a skoda garage to get my radio key. On top of that my battery needs replacing soon and using it to jump start another car means id need to jump start my own car....

ClumsyNinja · 23/02/2015 22:04

Good god, it's shocking how many posters are clueless about how to do a simple jump start and worried about themselves and their cars.

Is this a naice village in commuting distance of London rather than a real village with real community minded people perhaps?

Fourarmsv2 · 23/02/2015 22:14

My friend jump started her DHs car and ended up with a massive bill after it damaged the electrics.

Jumpstarting ours knocked out the power steering.

That said when last asked I did help.

SistersOfPercy · 23/02/2015 22:37

There is a lot of difference between jump starting an older car with no 'brain' and a modern one with. As has been said if you dont know 100% what you're doing you risk damaging a modern vehicle.

I have a rough idea how to do it but I'm not confident enough to risk damaging my car, something I work bloody hard for in case I get it wrong and I'd certainly not trust a stranger with it either.

I used to drive a Morris minor, in that with basic electrics and little to fry I'd have had a go, but not in my modern car. As I said upthread I'd have waited with you if you wanted and offered a phone etc.

GettingFiggyWithIt · 23/02/2015 22:48

I'd have let you! only drives skips on wheels
Have helped jump start and push down a hill others' cars and my own jalopy needed jump starting one winter a few times before it died Sorry noone helped you out.

MidniteScribbler · 23/02/2015 23:10

If you've had to jumpstart your car "hundreds of times" then you have a bigger issue than people not stopping to help you.

And you didn't want to wait the time for the roadside assistance to come, but you didn't mind holding up people who were heading home from work and expecting them to be delayed because of your problem.

sanfairyanne · 23/02/2015 23:35

having just read up about it online, sorry op, i wouldnt risk a new car for jump starting.
i'd help you change a tyre though (although thats a dying art too now - no spare tyres)

MidnightDinosaur · 24/02/2015 00:13

I'd have helped you. I had to jump start my own car with no one else around. Thankfully dp had decided to get the bus to work that day and left his car at home. I just googled it. Not rocket science. Both cars were fine.

I got a phonecall at work one day to go jump start a collegues car as she was in the next car park.

Can't believe not one person would help you.

MistressDeeCee · 24/02/2015 01:14

Ive given people jumpstarts before. I would only refuse if I truly was in a serious hurry. I don't think I ever want to reach the stage in life where Im always in "too busy to help" mode. People get really attached to "things", don't they? Giving jumpstarts is likely to damage your car? I mean, really?! People have jumpstarted cars for years, Ive not heard of cars exploding from it regularly..nowadays there seem to be so many excuses for being ridiculously precious, and too mean to help someone in an emergency.

CheerfulYank · 24/02/2015 01:39

Hmm We've been jumped and given jumps quite a few times. Of course we'd have helped!

steff13 · 24/02/2015 03:40

Not rocket science, positive to positive and negative to negative. Turn on car, turn on flat battery car .. bingo

US cars might be different, but you are supposed to connect the positive to the dead battery's positive terminal, the other positive to the good battery's positive terminal, the negative to the good battery's negative terminal, and the other negative to an unpainted metal surface in the car with the dead battery. Doing it your way could result in bad things for both cars.

silverblur · 24/02/2015 04:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeryLazyNameChange · 24/02/2015 05:21

bettertogether75 I suspect the fine she has to pay if she is late picking her Dc up from nursery. My commute was timed down to the minute. I had 4 minutes to catch my train in the morning and 5 to pick DC up in the evening for a 3.5 minute walk to the station from nursery. So if the trains were late or I was delayed for some reason then I had problems.

Morloth · 24/02/2015 05:38

BetterTogether75 LOL if I made $510 per hour I wouldn't be sweating $60 now would I?

VeryLazy is correct. That is the fine I have to pay to daycare if I am late. Enough of a ripple effect to make me late for my older son and you can double it.

I have NO time in the evenings for anything less than an absolute emergency.

The OP's lack of planning is not my emergency.