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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that people have really become unfriendly and self absorbed that they can't spare 2 minutes

196 replies

Patchworkpatty · 23/02/2015 18:28

So, I came home on the train to my little rural village station. Lots of commuters use it as free parking all day. Got in the car and the battery is flat , my fault entirely, oldish car and left the radio on ..anyway, I have jump leads in the boot, so opened the bonnet and attached them and then asked (politely) each passing commuter walking to their car if they could give me a jump start... fifteen people, not one could help... the reasons varied from : sorry I'm in a hurry , I don't know how (I explained I did but then they were also in a hurry !) to its dhs car and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to ..and my favourite of all, I'm sorry I don't know how to open the bonnet !. Saddest of all was that all 15 were women and not one could spare 2 minutes. In the end called Dd1 who was fifteen miles away who rescued me. she knows how to change a tyre and jumpstart a car because we taught her when she first started to drive , she also knows how to open the bonnet. Aibu to think it wouldn't have been too much to ask ?

OP posts:

HootyMcTooty · 24/02/2015 09:34

I would have helped you, but would have insisted on using my own cables and doing it myself to ensure it was done correctly. I keep cables and detailed instructions in my boot at all times.

muminhants · 24/02/2015 10:02

My car is an automatic and you're not supposed to jump start automatics (or presumably use them to jump start a manual) so I would not have helped and I can't remember which way round you jump start anyway, ie whether you connect the good battery first or the bad battery first.

But I walk to my local station anyway so would not have had my car.

A few weeks ago someone was jump-starting their car in my local station.

I am a member of the AA so would call them out anyway, it's what I pay them for.

DeeWe · 24/02/2015 10:10

It can cause damage to cars. I know from bitter experience.

We'd gone to a school trip at the theatre and were being picked up at the end by a friend's mum. As we got in the car, a local taxi chap approached her and asked if he could jump start the car.
He knew what he was doing, she knew what she was doing (she was a mechanic) and so she happily agreed.
Shortly after they were connected, there was a huge bang and our car filled with a large amount of smoke. And we exited at speed.

It had, however managed to luckily start the taxi, so we got a free ride home in a taxi by a very apologetic taxi driver. Her car was written off, as it had done something to the engine. I think the taxi firm gave her free rides until the insurance was sorted too. He was a nice chap and totally mortified.

I can't remember actually what the problem was, it was explained to me, something about the jump leads or batteries being incompatible with our car.

But it was very scary, and so I would be very reluctant to let my car be used.

thanksamillion · 24/02/2015 10:13

Out of interest do most people know how to start a car from pushing?

We lived abroad until recently in a place where most people have old/unreliable cars, including us. We had about 3 months where our car would only start from pushing or rolling down a hill, but without fail someone would stop and help.

OnGoldenPond · 24/02/2015 10:17

As a previous poster has said it is possible to damage your own car if used to jump start another if it is not done properly.

The last time I helped someone out in this way I ended up with a damaged battery which then did not hold charge properly. I ended up stranded with flat battery in a filling station. Had cost of breakdown call out plus new battery plus lots of wasted time because I did someone a favour to someone who was not interested in reimbursing me

So I would have turned you down at the station, sorry.

However I would have offered to help you ring for a breakdown service. Maybe you should get a contract set up?

Dizzywizz · 24/02/2015 11:44

I would have helped, but after reading this thread and the scare stories I won't in future!

To those saying to get breakdown cover, I think the op has it but didn't want to wait around.

NimpyWWindowmash · 24/02/2015 11:46

I would not have helped as I would have worried I might electrocute myself...

I know, I know, and sorry, but yes, I'd be scared

call the AA?

Trumpity · 24/02/2015 11:50

I wouldn't have helped. I have to run from the station to my car as it is, in order to pick up my child from the childminder!

And after reading these stories, I definitely wouldn't, sorry! Maybe get yourself AA or RAC cover.

Trumpity · 24/02/2015 11:51

Sorry I should read the thread - you have cover, someone has said!

minionmadess · 24/02/2015 11:55

I've done this for friends/family a couple of times and have never damaged my car.

I would have stopped and helped you... 10 minutes max.

When me and my siblings passed our driving test my DF taught us how to do this long with changing a wheel and basic car maintenance. Are there actually people out there that don't know how to open their bonnet

OnlyLovers · 24/02/2015 11:57

'can't even blame 'big city mentality' ..'

You've lost a bit of my sympathy for saying this. I live in a big city and get so sick of people (usually people who have little or no experience of city life) shaking their heads and talking out of their arses authoritatively about how unfriendly people are in cities.

And ssd, I'm not going to 'slaughter' you but I am going to say what rubbish.

But that's an aside.

I don't drive and never have, so I wouldn't know how to jump-start a car. I also had no idea if could cause damage; but I hope that, if I DID drive, I WOULD know that. And on that basis I'm afraid I would have had to say no. But I'd have explained why I wouldn't help, made sure you had someone to call and, if it was dark/very quiet or if I just felt you wanted the company, stayed until someone else came along to help.

Marynary · 24/02/2015 11:57

I wouldn't have helped you. How are people expected to know that you know what you are doing and won't damage their car? It was your fault that you let the battery run flat and your problem to fix e.g. by calling AA, RAC, family or owning a car battery charger.

aderynlas · 24/02/2015 12:05

This thread has reminded me of all the times the only way to start our car was to push it down the hill. Hope the driver jumped in as the car spluttered to life and away to go.

Thumbwitch · 24/02/2015 12:07

thanksamillion - I have a Subaru Outback - the AAA (australian) bloke said it's not possible to hill/rolling start them. It was also impossible to jump start from DH's car as well - the AAA bloke had to use his industrial jump-starter thing to get it going.

Which is good really, because my previous car (Toyota Corolla) started ever so easily by hill/rolling start - probably how the bastards that nicked it managed to start it!

Marynary · 24/02/2015 12:36

I love some of the patronising comments about people not knowing how to jump start cars etc. I think it is more crap to let your battery run flat in the first place by leaving lights/radio on etc. I did know how to jump start a car 30 years ago when I first started driving but considering that I haven't had a flat battery for at least 25 years, it wasn't really knowledge worth relearning. I can't say that I'll never have a flat battery again but if I do, I will phone the AA and wait for an hour (or probably less) rather than expect strangers to spend their time helping me.

MaryWestmacott · 24/02/2015 12:56

Marynary - agree, as said earlier, I've been driving since the last century (now that makes me sound old!) and while when I first learnt to drive my dad made a point of teaching me how to change a tire and how to jump start a car, I've never had to do either. (I was also taught how to drive a car with a choke, it's been a looonnnggg time since I've had to do that!)

FryOneFatManic · 24/02/2015 13:00

If the OP has had to jump start her car hundreds of times then what is she doing wrong with the car? Are there any underlying issues?

I'd be worried about any underlying issue if I was asked to help, so as I rely on my car to get to work, then sorry, I wouldn't be helping.

In 24 years of driving, I've had precisely 2 jumpstarts.

Thumbwitch · 24/02/2015 13:11

MaryW - I have to drive a car with a manual choke every time I come back to the UK!

DinoMight · 24/02/2015 13:13

mathanxiety is right btw, you have to do the entire red pos to pos connection before you do the black neg to neg connection, so you standing there with both giant crocodile clips ready to attach them to another car was probably a bit of a heads up that you didn't quite know what you were doing actually

and when you've done the jump start you should take the leads off in the correct (reverse) order too.

NoImSpartacus · 24/02/2015 13:17

I would have helped you, OP, don't lose faith in human nature!

DiamondsandRainbows · 24/02/2015 14:21

Are there actually people out there that don't know how to open their bonnet

Surely not???

What do they do when the wiper fluid needs re-filling? or the oil needs checking. Perhaps Halfords do it for a charge.

stubbornstains · 24/02/2015 14:40

A man does it for them of course .

SistersOfPercy · 24/02/2015 14:46

I've got girl friends who have no idea how to inflate thier own tyres so checking oil and washer bottles is completely beyond them.
I'm quite mechanical, but I drove a series of ancient cars so I had to be. When I had the mog I would often get stopped by old men reminiscing who always seemed shocked that I did my own repairs on it. But then, it was simple with simple basic electrics.
I look under my bonnet now and I have no idea. A computer does everything even to telling me a tyres is low. I guess some people get too reliant on that.

To be fair though I've known men who are just as clueless.

EauPea · 24/02/2015 15:00

MumInHants

I think you might have your "Jump Starts" and your "Bump Starts" muddled up.

It is perfectly fine to jump start an automatic i.e using jump leads connected to another battery, what you can not do with an auto is bump start/push start or tow above 5 miles.

MaryWestmacott · 24/02/2015 15:55

Diamonds - that's done at the service, most people don't do it themselves inbetween anymore. I remember DH looking at me like I was crazy when I suggested we check oil and water before doing a long car journey, I think if you run newish cars, it just doesn't need doing all that often... (I think I've stopped bothering with either for the last 5 years since driving a newer car)

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