to think that people have really become unfriendly and self absorbed that they can't spare 2 minutes

[Patchworkpatty]

So, I came home on the train to my little rural village station. Lots of commuters use it as free parking all day. Got in the car and the battery is flat , my fault entirely, oldish car and left the radio on ..anyway, I have jump leads in the boot, so opened the bonnet and attached them and then asked (politely) each passing commuter walking to their car if they could give me a jump start... fifteen people, not one could help... the reasons varied from : sorry I'm in a hurry , I don't know how (I explained I did but then they were also in a hurry !) to its dhs car and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to ..and my favourite of all, I'm sorry I don't know how to open the bonnet !. Saddest of all was that all 15 were women and not one could spare 2 minutes. In the end called Dd1 who was fifteen miles away who rescued me. she knows how to change a tyre and jumpstart a car because we taught her when she first started to drive , she also knows how to open the bonnet. Aibu to think it wouldn't have been too much to ask ?

wow thats bad i always help people in need, maybe some of them could of been in a hurry which is fair enough but all 15 really? lets hope one day they need help people refuse

oh reading through theother comments i didnt know u could damage a car by doing a jumpstart maybe not then

Seriously folks, your risk of damage is incredibly slight as long as you do it properly, and car engines and their parts are not so mysterious and beyond comprehension that the average woman can't do it right.

Many posters here whom I assume are women seem to be completely clueless about how cars work or how batteries work. So much for liberation.

This alleged rampant danger is coming across as an urban myth.

Do you seriously think companies would manufacture or sell jumper cables if they were going to ruin cars left, right and centre? Do you not think someone, somewhere would smack them with the world's biggest lawsuit and/or health and safety bans if it were the case that cars were being destroyed on a regular basis by giving or receiving jump starts?

Muminhants I drive an automatic and have never come across any information that would lead me to believe an automatic can't be used to jump a manual car or vice versa.

What I am pretty sure of is you can't give an automatic a running start -- you have to get a jump.

it hasnt got much to do with male or female in my house, we would both google it we have jump leads but how many people use them these days? my car has an alert if the lights are left on, the radio turns off with the car engine. its pretty much an 'olden days' problem, like changing a tyre.

I can't believe some of the responses on here! Op, for what it's worth, I would have stopped to help you, whether you were male/female.

For those of you who wouldn't, it's a condition that is rare nowadays, and it's called 'kindness', look it up :)

It's odd you should say that iammargesimpson - I am constantly surprised by how much kindness I see in my daily life, sometimes from the most unexpected people and at times when I would assume there would be a dearth. Perhaps it's a question of confirmation bias, but I am always bowled over that there are people who put so much of themselves into helping others and supporting those in need, whether that's chucking their spare change into a charity collection tin or putting months of time and effort into organising huge events for those in need.

Dojo, I agree with you, where I live, in a rural area, people are very helpful. I have broken down in my old banger of a car more than once and people have stopped to help almost straightaway for which I am eternally grateful!

I'm a little saddened I think by some (a lot) of the responses here where people wouldn't help a stranger in need. It's not as if the op was asking people to change a tyre for her her in the pouring rain, I.e. It wouldn't have inconvenienced people THAT much to let her charge her car battery from their engine.

Why are we so suspicious of others? So many people seem to think that others have an alterior motive when all they need is a little time and kindness.

Nurseries and CMs ant time and tide wait for no-one. Nurseries, CMs and time are not always kind.

Here in Sydney people are very kind.

We are also busy.

If people can lend a hand they do, if they can't they don't.

I am yet to be involved in any sort of 'incident' where there haven't been enough people.

I just don't think a flat battery at a railway station is an 'incident'.

I am a woman and I have jump leads in my car. They have clear instructions in the bag they came with and my dh has shown me how to use them. When my dh bought me my new car he also bought a rescue bag thing which has jump leads, warning triangle and a tow rope, torch and some other bits in it. His car has one too. Safety first and all that. I have already used the jump leads to help a young chap who needed a jump start outside my dc's school. He was impressed I knew how to use them and I was just glad to be able to help. I would have helped you op.

I am a kind cm.

I know jack shit about cars so am in the AA. Pretty liberated but also not interested in cooking or knitting either. Dh cooks. Lots of sexism on this thread. Why should women know about cars? Or men? That's what we pay others for.

I would have helped you op if you were alone, in distress or fear. Most definatly. People are kind. Very kind.

Strangers saved my dds life.

Maybe those people were genuinely under the cosh to pick up children etc?

Why should women know about cars? Because you are driving a couple of tons of metal that could potentially kill you or someone else if not maintained properly.

How difficult it's it to check oil on a dipstick? Pour a little water in your washer bottle? Is it really that hard to check your tyre pressure?

I might help if going far enough to recharge my battery and I had 15 minutes to spare although you starting by hooking both leads would have made me worry that you didn't know what you were doing

I've never heard thst jumpnstarting a car might damage your own car. I've done it plenty of times.

I can't believe that there are drivers who don't know how to check oil/water levels or tyre pressure. Surely that's much more dangerous than jump starting a car?

I stopped by the side of the road in the pissing rain recently to help a bloke change a tyre.
He was adamant it wouldn't come off etc.
I removed it for him and bumbled back on my girlie way.

I always stop for breakdowns. And it's always women who stop for me.

I'll never forget my gasket blowing one night when I was heavily pregnant and in the middle of nowhere.

It was winter and raining. No phone signal. Miles from anywhere. But an A road.

I was sobbing as the rush hour commuters honked at me for being in their way as I trudged and slipped on the soft verge to find an area with phone signal. (Car was in a safe place.)

Kinda lost faith in humanity that day.

Yes indeed, SistersOfPercy, or leave you stranded somewhere..

I think it also demonstrates that gendered ideas wrt machines and manliness are codswallop, and since there can never be too much debunking of myths that harm women, knowing what you are doing with your car is a good thing.

I was worrying at the start of the thread with all the 'no its very dangerous' posts.

Read the AA guide and nope my dad taught me the right way phew (Probably shouldn't have been surprised considering hes a trained engineer). knowing that, unless I was really in a rush I'd stop and help. If they refused to do it the proper way and tried to rush it I'd be off though.

I would have been late picking the DCs up from nursery so I am afraid it would have been a no from me too.

Would you have been happy to pay for any damage you caused by using someone else's car to jump start your own?

So, if you are a 'non bonnet lifter', what do you do if the screen wash runs out before the next service? 'Get DH/DP to do it' really can't count as an answer, because what happens if you are on the motorway and/or a long way from home?

And tyres, do you just drive about until your next service and hope for the best?

I'm not into cars or anything I just assume that if I get into my car, or borrow/hire one, then as the driver I am required to make sure that it is roadworthy.

The highway code tells you to check weekly which I think is a bit excessive, but still... Highway code online

yes, you can damage the car (very expensively) by incorrect use of jump leads. You can damage the car by driving it incorrectly. Yet we are allowed to buy cars.

if nothing that could cause damage by incorrect use was sold - then I struggle to know what could be sold!

I never have cars 'serviced' as such because a service is all checks I can do myself. If those checks reveal a need for a fix (tyres coming to the end, oil needing changing etc) then I get it done. The checks need to be done a lot more often than the service interval!

if you never check tyres, lights, oil, water levels you shouldn't be driving.

hopefully we all now know that you don't put both jump leads on and then look for a donor car.

mummy it's perfectly okay to be 'precious' about your car - they are expensive! I wouldn't trust a total stranger to mess about with mine.

OP I would have offered to call someone for you or given you a lift.

As for 'dh told me not to' , I can't see the problem with this. If the dh knows more about the car then it's fine to trust his view on what to do with it. I think it's daft to ignore the advice of someone who knows better just so you can 'think for yourself'. I'm happy to think for myself in the areas where I am more knowledgeable but I don't have any interest in the workings of a car and would happily just leave it up to dh.

always takes me ages to remember how to open the bonnet. i had to google it first time. stupid peugeot - it was on the passengers side. dh still cant do it. it only needs opening once every few months for screenwash so its easy enough to forget in the meantime.

It sounds as though there isn't much sense of community there! Here in rural mid-wales people always help one another. Using jump leads is really very straightforward and is not going to damage your car! Here our cars are all so old anyway that they just go to the local small business garage not the dealership (they were probably bought second hand anyway). Last year I was getting a tenner out of the cashpoint and got refused because of the OD - I got a tap on the shoulder and someone I had known a few years before but not spoken to for years was proffering me a ten pound note saying 'there you go'. As I had to post things for my work I was very grateful and of course popped round to repay her later that week and had a nice catch-up chat. Perhaps being hard up brings people together...

Shocking how ignorant and unhelpful people are. I would have given you a jump start Op.
I pushed an old man's car with him to the top of a hill only last week. I had to persuade him to get in first before he set off down hill to bump start it. He was clearly planning on leaping in at the last minute and he looked at least 80 !