to think that people have really become unfriendly and self absorbed that they can't spare 2 minutes

[Patchworkpatty]

So, I came home on the train to my little rural village station. Lots of commuters use it as free parking all day. Got in the car and the battery is flat , my fault entirely, oldish car and left the radio on ..anyway, I have jump leads in the boot, so opened the bonnet and attached them and then asked (politely) each passing commuter walking to their car if they could give me a jump start... fifteen people, not one could help... the reasons varied from : sorry I'm in a hurry , I don't know how (I explained I did but then they were also in a hurry !) to its dhs car and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to ..and my favourite of all, I'm sorry I don't know how to open the bonnet !. Saddest of all was that all 15 were women and not one could spare 2 minutes. In the end called Dd1 who was fifteen miles away who rescued me. she knows how to change a tyre and jumpstart a car because we taught her when she first started to drive , she also knows how to open the bonnet. Aibu to think it wouldn't have been too much to ask ?

"Licking my doors" is it bad I smirked at that?!

It was hardly deserted, if OP asked 15 people. If it was earlier, it was daylight. I genuinely wouldn't worry if it was a man wanting to attach leads to my car, and it makes me feel quite sad for people like my DH or my dad to think people wouldn't help simply because they're male. What about the men in your life, would you expect someone to help your male DP (if you have one, or relative?)

Don't want to derail OP, sorry but I'm interested.

Yes, I think you would have had much more success asking a man. They do love a damsel in distress

That said, I wouldn't dream of saying no to a man, or a woman who asked for this help. I might feel a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed to admit I'd need your help to show me how, but I wouldn't have said no

I would have tried to help if I wasn't running for a train or anything...I'd not have a bloody clue what to do tbf. You'd have probably been quicker waiting for your daughter

(Whispers, do you live Down South or in the North/Midlands just out of interest)

OP you did it wrong because you attached both and waited.

You do the red (your car to theirs) then the black.

Goodness Puppymonkey, you're poking the hornet's nest there!

If you follow the AA advice, it takes about 15 minutes to jump start a car
www.theaa.com/breakdown-cover/using-jump-leads.html

It is not as simple as positive to positive and negative to negative. In fact the negative should be earthed, not connected to the dead battery

Would have stopped. And know how to (equipped with own jump leads).
I jump started a colleagues car last week and it took 5 mins max including positioning my car.

Those AA instruction should be a compulsory part of the driving test.

Every good girl driver should know how to jump start a car; change a tire or, if you really don't want to, how to pay the AA, Greenflag, etc for their services!

It scares me how little people know about the heaps of metal they're driving around.

People are so precious about their stupid bloody cars. Get over it and jump start the car! The kind of people who say "my DH told me it would damage my car" are the type of people who are too boring and grey to bother with. They are the type of people who have signs saying "baby on board". Throw up.

I'd have helped a woman definitely but maybe not a man if I had any weird vibes.

I wouldn't have known what to do but I would have googled it while standing there

Those AA instructions are not how dh (mechanic) has been trained to jump start a car. He said following those instructions will work, but not necessarily very well.

specialsubject Sorry I have no idea what you are talking about . "there is a correct way to connect jump leads which you weren't doing" Sorry didn't realize you were hiding in the bushes ! If you were, I can assure you that despite being a woman I know exactly how to attach jump leads.

I think specialsubject was referring to the fact that you said you had already attached the jumpleads to your battery, whereas you should attach them to the working battery first.

Yes, but as they are from the AA they carry a reassuring weighty correctness.

My instructions (probably same as your DHs, as mine was a mechanic for years too) are swifter, but probably sound less reassuring

I think you're right nomama

I would have helped - it is easy to jump start a car. I have had it done to my car & done it for others. No damage.

I am sorry OP that everyone was so mean and /or useless, it is pretty sad.

Neverfinishwhatyoustarted, genuinely didn't mean that in a condescending way, but reading back, I can see it is, so take it whatever way you want. If you have a son, I hope he never needs a stranger's help when he's a teenager.

I havnt a clue about anything on my car that's why I am in the AA.

I wouldn't have let you jump start it either as dh has told me not to.

Yes sounds lame I know but the truth.

However unless my kids needed a pick up or I was under the cost in ither ways I would have offered you any other help or support you needed

Got to say though op I think you couid have been putting yourself in danger asking random strangers for help. Sorry but been bitten that way before and had my handbag knicked.

My advice is lock your doors and ring your breakdown company.

TBH if I knew the correct way to help jump start a car I would have stopped to help, but I don't because I have never needed to (give me an old banger with a dodgy starter motor and I'm all yours...I used to keep a mallet under the bonnet of one of my old cars, it worked a treat).

It's all very well someone telling you that they know how to do something if you know them well, but I wouldn't trust a total stranger.

I have the AA free with my car insurance now as it was so cheap.

YABU. I wouldn't have given you a jump start either. I treated myself to a heavy duty battery for the winter and I am not wasting it on a stranger who was daft enough to leave her radio on. You should join a breakdown service. That is what they are for.

yes, that is what I was referring to - you said in your post that you'd put both jump leads on the car already. This is wrong and could damage both cars. Expensively.

My concern would be that you have shown you don't know what you are doing, and that you might not listen when I tried to correct you.

and given your instant knee-jerk reaction, I may just have been proved correct...

breakdown cover is a pound a week.

ps yes, I am quite precious about my car because I paid for it and I need it. Not risking it for someone who hasn't bought breakdown cover.

I had two "youffs" in a souped up hatchback stop and offer me a jump start when I and a friend were trying to push start my car. Never occurred to me that there was any risk involved. I'm sorry that some posters have experience where accepting/offering help has been risky but I really don't want to live in a world where I expect the worst.

OP, I'd have given you a jump start, even if it made me late for something. Even if you are - shock horror! - a man.

And all you people saying, "DH told me not to..." If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to take responsibility for your car and to make your decisions in relation to it.