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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect DH to be home soon

266 replies

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 01:13

I have to leave for work at 6am. He will be looking after our dc (7,5,3) all day until 9pm. He has gone out after work as it is his last day there. I warned him I was working. He is terrible for not waking up after a drink. I am worried I will not be able to go to work if he is much later Confused

OP posts:
JenniferGovernment · 21/02/2015 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Phineyj · 21/02/2015 20:21

Good for you. It sounds like you are probably in a caring profession so it would have been a bad idea to go in on no sleep. In my opinion 'ill' broadly covers it - not in a fit state to do the job safely.

MardyPants · 21/02/2015 20:22

What slaggy said.

Cheers!

shutupmartinyouspleen

PeaceOfWildThings · 21/02/2015 20:24

Martin, the man in question is a father and is married. These two relationships come above obligations to work, as they are fir life, and involve interdependency over the course of one's life. Even on a verybasic level, he picked a bad day to avoid this 'nagging wife' you have invented (and MN would be lining up to say LTB to him, if the relationship had become so unhappy.)

His responsibility was to be available to look after his own children this morning, as agreed. Even before that, being married means understanding that your spouse cares about you and would worry if you were not home and not contactable in the early hours of the morning. Marriage is not an employment contract!

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 20:35

Jennifer, the OP's partner was enjoying "leaving" drinks. The emphasis being on the word "leaving" meaning he wasn't due into work today, hence why your proposition is simply false. I'm not sure whether I can be any more clear here?

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 20:42

PeaceOfWildThings, No one is disputing this mans obligations. However, certain posters seem to be suggesting this was a premeditated act of "sabotage". Spurious at best, IMO.

Cheers,
M.

Tiswineoclocksomewhere · 21/02/2015 20:48

I admit my first reaction before reading the thread was give the poor bloke a break, but seriously?! I'm notoriously rubbish on nights out - the last big one I had was a quick drink with the girls and I crawled in at 4am Blush

I'd be fuming. Actually I'd have been at home with the kids (there was no option given the timing of the posts) and he'd have been locked out and would have stayed that way for the day (probably longer!). If he wanted this to be a big night out - and I wouldn't blame him given it was leaving drinks - then he should have been honest and given the OP the opportunity to either take annual leave or arrange childcare for today.

Ran it past my husband too who agrees totally - and was really shocked. He agrees with me, if you want a pissed night out then brilliant, do it, go for it, stay out as long as you like. Don't bloody well lie about your intentions and then let others around you down because you can't act like an adult.

Had I needed to let him in then the kids would have spent the day jumping on his head. My kids are much older now but post night out the sober one of us always (without fail) deflects duties for the hungover one - it's only fair but it simply has to work both ways or one of you is definitely taking the piss!

TeaMilkNoSugar · 21/02/2015 20:59

Martin
Are you so thick, that you cannot understand a hypothetical question and give a hypothetical answer to Jennifer?

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 21:07

TeaMilkNoSugar: No, I wouldn't say i'm "thick", but on reflection when one compares ones self to some of the intellectual heavyweights here, perhaps I am? Have a great weekend!

Cheers!

JenniferGovernment · 21/02/2015 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenniferGovernment · 21/02/2015 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenniferGovernment · 21/02/2015 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeisenbergsBlueMeth · 21/02/2015 21:31

So what if the husband didn't have work in the morning, the OP did and had to call in sick

Charlotte3333 · 21/02/2015 21:39

I've come home without shoes, without a handbag, without my phone. I've had to walk 4 miles from Jimmy Deans after a cab driver refused to take my friend as she had sick on her dress (we were teens, it wasn't last week), I've gotten up to all sorts of japes. But still nothing like stopping out all night and entirely forgetting my obligations and responsibilities. As a parent and a spouse, some things are more important than others.

Your DH is a titbag, notnow2, and I am thrilled that you're going to give him a bit of a hard time over this because, frankly, it was rude as hell. Enjoy your lie-ins next week!

SpringTimeIsComing · 21/02/2015 21:47

if Martin was my DH I would actively encourage him to stay out all night. Every night.

^ this.

He'd also have already been served with divorce papers. I feel sorry for his DP/DW (if he has one).

Cheers! Disaronno and ice are alleviating the pain of reading martins posts.

Tiswineoclocksomewhere · 21/02/2015 22:26

Charlotte if your Jimmy Deans was as remote as my Jimmy Deans then I too have done that particular walk of shame on more than one occasion Blush

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 22:35

SpringTimeIsComing. Wow. I see. I wonder if you're this rude to people when you're not sat behind your keyboard?

HAGO!

Cheers!
M

justmyview · 21/02/2015 22:55

OP - I would be seriously hacked off about DH's failure to come home resulting in you not being able to go to work today. That's totally unaceptable

SergeantJarhead · 21/02/2015 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SergeantJarhead · 21/02/2015 22:59

FYI Martin dearest, I am always this rude in person. Worse, in fact.

MartinJD · 22/02/2015 08:35

Dearly me. Wash your mouth out with soap and water young lady!

Cheers!

ilovesooty · 22/02/2015 08:44

No point in troll hunting, sinking to his level and getting deleted. Just report him.

ohtheholidays · 22/02/2015 08:47

Good for you OP.I hope he never does that to you again.

MartinJD · 22/02/2015 15:58

Good to see old potty mouth's post has been deleted. :) Seems to be a small minority of users who struggle to verbalise their arguments without resulting to personal insults. Anyway, enough of that. At least common sense prevailed.

I wish the OP and her partner all the best for the future. I'm glad it worked out for you guys.

Cheers and HAGO!

BastardGoDarkly · 22/02/2015 17:24

Bollocks