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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect DH to be home soon

266 replies

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 01:13

I have to leave for work at 6am. He will be looking after our dc (7,5,3) all day until 9pm. He has gone out after work as it is his last day there. I warned him I was working. He is terrible for not waking up after a drink. I am worried I will not be able to go to work if he is much later Confused

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 21/02/2015 18:16

I often think men get a rough deal on here but I have utter contempt for a man who sabotages his partner's employment like this.

BathtimeFunkster · 21/02/2015 18:17

Oh look, a man has come to give us the goady fucker's perspective.

Nice try, but you don't get to play the "working flat out to provide for his family" card on a man who puts his wife's ability to provide for that very same family in jeopardy by being an irresponsible cunt.

Only1scoop · 21/02/2015 18:21

Selfish fucker....he could of let you know. I'd be furious if I had to miss work because of a selfish drunk.

You must be tired Op hope you get some rest

ScrambledSmegs · 21/02/2015 18:24

Lo!

To expect DH to be home soon
Mrsbird311 · 21/02/2015 18:27

In my imagination I would wait till ten minutes before he was due to go to work and just pop out and not return for two days, no phone, nothing, in reality I'd have is stuff in bin bags on the front lawn, I sm layer back about most things but my husband disrespecting me and his kids, not on your nelly he would have to beg to come home and he would never get away with doing it again, he's supposed to be your partner, your person who stands with you against the world, not a selfish, drunken idiot who can't even be fucked to text you to inform you of his fuckwittery, I would lose all respect, at least put him on the sofa for a couple of weeks, I'm fuming on your behalf

SurlyCue · 21/02/2015 18:30

What an absolute fucking tool. Male or femal doesnt matter. What matters is that he got so pissed he wasnt able to care for his children and his partner had to cancel her work, causing problems for her employers. So selfish and inconsiderate.

Personally i'd have locked the door with a note on it telling him to find a mate's sofa til he was ready to commit to being a partner and a parent.

Honestly OP i wouldnt be with someone i couldnt depend on. You dont have to be you know. You can get proper reliable childcare and work as a single parent.

ashtrayheart · 21/02/2015 18:34

Yes Martin because I'm sure you would be ecstatic if your wife or whoever didn't come home and you couldn't go to work because of it. My dp stays out for the night if he goes out as his friends live an hour or so away in a village - I have no problem with this as long as I don't have work the next day!

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 18:39

BathtimeFunkster: I'm not trying to be a "goady fucker" as you so eloquently put it. Just trying to give another perspective.

No ones job is "in jeopardy". In actual fact, The OP is the one who lied to her employer about being sick when the correct course of action would of been to tell her employer she didn't have any child care.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 21/02/2015 18:39

If he'd wanted a break from his 'nagging wife' then he could have gone for a few beers and come home at a sensible time like midnight. Then his wife could have had a 15 hour break while she went to work

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 18:42

ashtrayheat: On the contrary, I would be suitably annoyed had my wife done that to me. What the bloke did was clearly wrong, but lets try to keep things in perspective here.

Cheers!

ilovesooty · 21/02/2015 18:44

I think that "Cheers"!" sign off is incredibly irritating. Not the first forum I've seen it on either.

Only1scoop · 21/02/2015 18:45

Let's get things in perspective....

Hmmmm

Cheers Grin

Quiero · 21/02/2015 18:48

Let's get things in perspective...

Are you the OP's husband?

Fucking hell. My husband works shifts and I would never be so selfish to not be back in time to allow him to go to work at night. To not be back by the morning is taking the piss even further.

Only1scoop · 21/02/2015 18:49

So she should have phoned in and said she had no childcare Confused

Op there you go it's your fault....you lied.

SurlyCue · 21/02/2015 18:53

the correct course of action would of been to tell her employer she didn't have any child care

If i was an employer being told that an employee couldnt come in in an hours time due to no childcare i'd be pretty pissed off an assume the employee was flaky and disorganised. Sickness is unavoidable- this wasnt. Her DH left her in the shit and she was better to lie than tell the truth which could put doubts in her employers head about her reliability.

Topseyt · 21/02/2015 18:55

My husband did something similar once. Just once. It was more than 10 years ago now, but I still remember the fury I felt. It was mid December.

The kids were small and he was meant to be taking the two youngest to a children's Christmas party run by the sport and social club at his office for young children of staff. There was to be an entertainer, Father Christmas, games etc. and the kids were hugely excited about it. Party was on Saturday morning in the office canteen.

On the Friday night hubby went to the office Christmas party, got very drunk and decided to walk the 22 miles home afterwards.

He rocked up at 8.00am, saying he really didn't feel he could face a children's party. He had no choice though, as the rule was for the relevant member of staff to supervise their own children and I wasn't about to let him disappoint ours. So I bundled the lot of them into my car and deposited them at his office.

He well and truly learned his lesson and was very contrite afterwards.

PS, it was not the same as leaving a hungover drunk in sole charge of them. There were lots of responsible and sober adults and staff there too running the do, and I was nearby doing some shopping.

It was summary justice though for what he had put me through the night before. He didn't get to rest until we had got home that afternoon.

SurlyCue · 21/02/2015 18:56

Cheers!

Are we clinking glasses and downing ine each time you post martin? Is it a new MN drinking game? cause i'd be ok with that. It would make your posts increasingly bearable

maras2 · 21/02/2015 19:01

martinjd Give the guy a break? I'd break his fucking neck you idiot.After over 40 years of marriage,with kids and grandkids neither DH nor myself have ever been too pissed or too hungover to do child care.We both occasionally like to party,tie one on,get wrecked whatever you want to call it but have never ever let each other down when it comes to looking after kids.This guy deserves all the grief he gets. Angry

MartinJD · 21/02/2015 19:11

SurlyCue wrote: Sat 21-Feb-15 18:53:58

If i was an employer being told that an employee couldnt come in in an hours time due to no childcare i'd be pretty pissed off an assume the employee was flaky and disorganised. Sickness is unavoidable- this wasnt. Her DH left her in the shit and she was better to lie than tell the truth which could put doubts in her employers head about her reliability.

If you, as a manager made assumptions about an individual competency purely in the context of this, an isolated child care issue, then I am afraid I would question your logical reasoning.

I certainly wouldn't want anyone managing my staff in this way. The decision the OP made to lie was irrefutably wrong, but given the fact that she was up worrying all night it is, of course, somewhat understandable.

Cheers!

ilovesooty · 21/02/2015 19:18

Just joined today to goad did you, MartinJD?

Dowser · 21/02/2015 19:19

I had many similar scenarios in my marriage.

Just horrible.

I hope you've had a sleep this afternoon while he was made to take charge.

I hope he never does it to you again.

SpringTimeIsComing · 21/02/2015 19:19
Grin
To expect DH to be home soon
SurlyCue · 21/02/2015 19:23

If you, as a manager made assumptions about an individual competency purely in the context of this, an isolated child care issue, then I am afraid I would question your logical reasoning.

Are you suggesting that when the OP were to phone her employer and say she had no childcare that she was to omit the fact that it was due to her DH not coming home from a night out? Because you seem very keen on the truth being told here, so i am sure you mean the full truth, which of course would indicate that OP's childcare was unreliable and might pose further short notice staffing problems.

Cheers!

Only1scoop · 21/02/2015 19:25

It's Mr NotNow the Op's hubby

Grin

Cheers

Only1scoop · 21/02/2015 19:26

Ps used 'hubby' for effect Wink