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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect DH to be home soon

266 replies

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 01:13

I have to leave for work at 6am. He will be looking after our dc (7,5,3) all day until 9pm. He has gone out after work as it is his last day there. I warned him I was working. He is terrible for not waking up after a drink. I am worried I will not be able to go to work if he is much later

OP posts:

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:41

Would rather be at work!

OP posts:

thatsucks · 21/02/2015 07:45

Try not to drive yourself mad thinking about the work thing - you decided to call in sick so there's nothing you can do about that, put it out of your mind. Keep busy - take the kids out. Go to a friends or family for the day?

bigbluestars · 21/02/2015 07:46

OP does this mirror any other behaviour in your relationship? Is he disrespecting you in other ways?

ilovesooty · 21/02/2015 07:50

I really wouldn't leave the house if you've called in sick.
If you're sacked for misconduct it won't help anyone.
I'd be absolutely furious with him when he gets up.

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:50

Not really - he is generally an idiot who loses his grip on reality and lives in a fantasy world at times!

OP posts:

googoodolly · 21/02/2015 07:52

Don't go out, OP. You don't want to risk a disciplinary if you get caught by work. Ideally you would have said you had no childcare but it's done now.

Stay home and have a lazy day - you're angry and tired so don't go and make yourself feel worse. Deal with your H when he wakes up.

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:56

The sickness thing not really a problem - I'm not even allowed to go to work with the slightest sniffle or smallest sign of infection.

OP posts:

thatsucks · 21/02/2015 07:56

She won't be seen if she goes out in the car (if she has a car) to a friends house. I couldn't stay in all day with my dh in these circumstances. I'd go fecking mad!

ahbollocks · 21/02/2015 08:02

Really feel for you OP. Its is such a selfish nobhead thing to do. Take yourself up to bed soon as he gets in

HoggleHoggle · 21/02/2015 08:02

Glad he's ok but he needs to be read the riot act. Everyone fucks up now and again but if he isn't hugely apologetic by the time he's sober then he really is selfish and disrespectful to the extreme.

Hope you have a nice day. Make sure H is on afternoon duty with the dc so you can catch up on sleep.

TwatFaceBitch · 21/02/2015 08:08

I feel so angry for you. One thing I wouldn't let your dh do is a sleep it off. I make him get up and have a coffee and insist he helps you out today, seen as he should of been fully responsible for your dc today. Obviously he can't do that. So I would be giving him washing to do hoovering sorting something out ect. Thing is when people take there responsibles seriously this doesn't happen. I've had to carry on tthrough flu /bad cold and very occasionally a hang over. Whilst your dh doesn't understand that, other wise he wouldn't of done what he did. Kick out of bed and make him face the day.

Seriouslyffs · 21/02/2015 08:12

You're being much too soft on him.
Why on earth is he asleep now when you're the one who were awake and worried all night. Don't go swimming, not least because of work seeing you, but kick him out of bed and downstairs. Tell him you can swap at 11 and get back to sleep.

Blondiemama · 21/02/2015 08:14

Has he surfaced yet? Poor you having to deal with this.

maddy68 · 21/02/2015 08:19

He went out fir the night and got pissed. I would just have gone to work and left him to deal with it all. I also don't tgink coming in at 5 is unreasonable when it's his leaving do.

I certainly wouldn't gave phoned in sick. Tbf I probably wouldn't have worried in the first place just gone to bed and not expected him until the early hours. Last weekend it was after 5 when I got in and I'm old enough to know better my husband didn't bad an eyelid would go nuts if he did!
I was still up at 7.30 to walk the dogs was probably still pissedbut functional

googoodolly · 21/02/2015 08:20

She couldn't go to work - her H wasn't home!

PowderMum · 21/02/2015 08:20

So basically your 'D'H is saying that the kids are not his responsibility, I don't think I could be with someone who behaved like this.

BathtimeFunkster · 21/02/2015 08:21

No wonder things are bad between you. You aren't even a person to him.

Your professional standing in a responsible job is compromised because he us a selfish, irresponsible wanker.

And you are letting him sleep off his hangover

Why did you even let the useless twat across the threshold?

BlackDaisies · 21/02/2015 08:25

This situation is different. He rolled in way after the OP should have left for work. They had a prior arrangement he would look after their children. He's still so drunk that he's passed out. I certainly wouldn't now go in and leave a drunk person in charge my children.

thatsucks · 21/02/2015 08:27

maddy I'm not clutching my pearls at someone getting arseholed at a leaving do and staying out til clocks...but you're missing the point. OP's dh was home after she was supposed to go to work and she couldn't contact him - she has young children so she couldn't just 'go to work and leave him to it'.

Brutalista · 21/02/2015 08:29

What a wanker. Wouldn't it be marvellous to call his bluff, tell him you're off to work and check into a hotel for a sleep. Not practical I'm sure, sadly, but no less than he deserves

AliceinWinterWonderland · 21/02/2015 08:30

maddy he wasn't even home early enough for her to go to work. He rolled in after she needed to leave. And still pissed, so she could hardly leave him in charge of the dcs.

Leaving do or not - family responsibility and children come before drinking and partying on the priorities list of anyone with an ounce of responsibiity.

He's a selfish twat. And no, I wouldn't be allowing him time to sleep it off either.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 21/02/2015 08:31

Maddy dogs are slightly different to children, they are unlikely to come to serious harm if their caregiver is passed out hungover for one thing. It's completely pathetic to do what this man has done, and pathetic to excuse it as well. Your comments are wrong headed and unhelpful.

Nothing wrong with a big night out if you have nobody relying on you the next day. Every fucking thing wrong with it if you have young children to look after and a partner who needs to go to work. I'm disgusted that people can defend this to be honest.

pollypocket123 · 21/02/2015 08:35

Give him this to read!

maddy68 · 21/02/2015 08:37

I read at 5 ish the op had phoned in sick when she had to leave at 6 so I think that was perhaps jumping the gun a tad
I agree he was totally out of order as she had to go to work, but he clearly got pissed and lost his sense.
I hadn't realised he wasn't hime in time and that means hes an arse and I clearly can't read however I sense a back story here. The op was tearing her hair out at 1-2 o'clock!
That sounds rather unreasonable to me. I think there is more to this story ...

PunkrockerGirl · 21/02/2015 08:40

I really wouldn't go to a public place like a swimming pool if you've phoned in sick.

Sorry you've had such a rotten night, op. I hope you're going to read dh the riot act when he's awake and sober.

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