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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect DH to be home soon

266 replies

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 01:13

I have to leave for work at 6am. He will be looking after our dc (7,5,3) all day until 9pm. He has gone out after work as it is his last day there. I warned him I was working. He is terrible for not waking up after a drink. I am worried I will not be able to go to work if he is much later

OP posts:

Sirzy · 21/02/2015 07:24

Hope he turns up soon.

my2centsis · 21/02/2015 07:25

mumbehavingbadly could not be more right! I'm an awe

angelohsodelight · 21/02/2015 07:26

What a tosser. Try calling the phones again, but call each one three tunes. I heard that if a phone is on silent and someone calls repeatedly the phone will ring as it is an emergency. Never tried it though.

QOD · 21/02/2015 07:27

What a fuckwit

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 07:28

Really hope the OP is still asleep

I don't think the poor OP has slept at all Peace. She's been postingthroughout the night.

bigbluestars · 21/02/2015 07:28

I agree peace "sadly men don't"- how sexist.
hestia maybe your man acts like this in which case I am sorry- but I can assure you this is not the way all men behave.

OP try not to worry. He will be sleeping on a mates sofa somewhere.

Which doesn't excuse his appaling bahaviour,

GirlWithTheYellowHat · 21/02/2015 07:28

You heard anything from him?

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:29

He is home now still really pissed - stayed at friends house until 3am and then tried to make way home from the other side of london via night buses and kept falling asleep and missing stop. Why he didn't get a taxi is beyond me. He says he is sorry but he is not suitably sorry - just going on about how cold he is and now he is snoring. Going to take kids swimming lessons and continue the day (hope I don't get seen by anyone who reports me to work!). Thanks for all your support. I feel relieved. Anger is a Michigan better feeling than worry!!

OP posts:

ExitStageLeft · 21/02/2015 07:31

I'd be fucking livid. Hope you're ok OP? What an utterly selfish thing to do.

thatsucks · 21/02/2015 07:31

Well Peace, I know you are not allowed to point out differences between men and women on MN like you can do quite happily and without reproach in real life, but I know several men who do this. And of course many, many that never do or would. I don't know any women who would do this without phoning home.

OP he is definitely asleep on someone's sofa, I guarantee it. But so so selfish putting you through this and fucking up your work day and the kids swimming etc. Really really feel for you . All I can say is yes he needs the world's biggest bollocking and to really understand what he has done here. If he doesn't, well...

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:32

much better

OP posts:

thatsucks · 21/02/2015 07:33

Ah X post. What a knob. Have a nice weekend if you possibly can x

thatsucks · 21/02/2015 07:33

Michigan better, much better - we knew what you meant

JessieMcJessie · 21/02/2015 07:34

Glad he's back OP. Do give him both barrels when he sobers up and let us know in due course what shit explanation he gives for not borrowing a phone to contact you.

Trazzletoes · 21/02/2015 07:35

Another one here who can't understand why anyone, male or female, would act like that in general but, last day of work or not, it is totally unacceptable to make your partner unable to go to work because you can't get home in sufficient time. I would be beyond livid with DH if I had to miss work due to him drinking.

CluelessDil · 21/02/2015 07:35

Glad he's home op and it's not often I'd say hold on to a grudge but for the sake of your sanity please don't let him dismiss this. It's beyond shit what he's put you through last night.

AliceinWinterWonderland · 21/02/2015 07:35

notnow glad he is home okay so you don't have to worry anymore. I think you will need to address this lack of respect for your work though - this is absolutely not on. It's not "inconvenient" as in now you have to deal with the dcs and swimming lessons while he sleeps it off.... you had to miss work and risk having problems with work because of his irresponsible behaviour. That shows a decided lack of respect.

hestialou · 21/02/2015 07:36

Sorry what I meant was most men don't tend to think she'll be worried, that she'll be asleep etc so dont borrow a phone to call. Dh doesn't drink so don't have these worries but he's forgotten phone sometimes and hasn't called to tell me whereas I will send and email or call from work telling him forgot phone in case trying to call. If that makes sense

AliceinWinterWonderland · 21/02/2015 07:37

oh, when I say lack of respect for work - I mean HIM showing a lack of respect for you and the fact that you were supposed to go to work and have now missed it (not to mention putting you in a very uncomfortable position at work)

I don't know if you rang in sick or if you told them that he wasn't home yet, but if you are in a position where you might want to advance, this kind of thing can reflect badly and decrease the chances of a promotion as you will be seen as unreliable. Not fair for you to have those consequences for HIS actions.

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:37

Also as I picked up his Jean from the floor a load of coins fell out so he could have (gasp) used a pay phone. He is such an utter knob.

OP posts:

AliceinWinterWonderland · 21/02/2015 07:38

I don't think it was that "he didn't think she'd be worried," I suspect it's more likely just "He didn't think."

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 07:39

Glad he's ok

ilovesooty · 21/02/2015 07:39

I'm glad he is home and his behaviour has been deplorable. I really wouldn't go out with the children though. Instead of telling work you had no childcare you've called in sick when you aren't and if you're seen out now you may well be reported and disciplined.

AliceinWinterWonderland · 21/02/2015 07:40

notnow if he was out with mates, he could easily have rang you from one of their mobiles. Not having his phone with him is no excuse when he has cash for payphones and is out with mates who all likely have mobiles.

Original poster

notnow2 · 21/02/2015 07:40

I wish I had told work the truth instead of saying I was sick as I could have gone in later but now I can't make a miraculous recovery.

OP posts:

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