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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to just go to bed and leave her on the sofa?

159 replies

Sexyhouseslippers · 20/02/2015 23:17

Hello today I had a heated argument with DD over her attitude and behaviour. She use to be really sweet but has started rolling her eyes, being rude to family, friends and teachers etc. I had a talk with her as she had been really horrible on Instagram hugely backfired she told me to get out her business and leave the room so I did as I was trying to get her phone. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells had a bit of a cry she is a huge daddy girl and in DH eyes can do nothing wrong so he always takes her side we have talked but we just argue. I wish I could stop being a shit mother she still downstairs as it half term shall I let her stay down.

OP posts:

slightlyworriednc · 20/02/2015 23:19

How old is she?

Passmethecrisps · 20/02/2015 23:19

What age is she?

In her teens I would leave her alone and give yourself peace and quiet for a while.

You need to have a chat about boundaries and responsible behaviour but not tonight.

Original poster

Sexyhouseslippers · 20/02/2015 23:19

She is 9.

OP posts:

ChipDip · 20/02/2015 23:21

Why is she 9yo and on Instagram?

Passmethecrisps · 20/02/2015 23:21

Aw. She is quite little. I don't know - maybe she should be alone for an hour or so then go and get her?

jaynebxl · 20/02/2015 23:21

9?! You need to have a serious discussion with your dh for a start then she needs to get to bed!

trashcanjunkie · 20/02/2015 23:22

Er...what are you? Her mother or her big sister? Listen, it's shit if your do is not backing you up, and, yes, sadly, they do start with the eye rolling and twattish behaviour at a certain age, but ffs, it's not her fault if her dad is a cock, and you need to pull yourself together here, and remember who the grown up is. Deep breath, start again afresh, and go and get her to bed properly, and without starting another row. If she chooses to be a huffy little madam, that's her bag. You remain calm and keep control of the situation. Don't micro manage her behaviour.

CliveCussler · 20/02/2015 23:22

She's far too young to have Instagram. Or a phone for that matter. Take both away. When the tantrum is over give a big hug, tell her you love her but you're going to bed now and you'll talk more in the morning.

Sounds like you have maybe lost control a little.

trashcanjunkie · 20/02/2015 23:23

Dp not do...

trashcanjunkie · 20/02/2015 23:24

And if she tells you to get out of her business and leave the room, certainly do not!

steppeinginto2015 · 20/02/2015 23:25

get her off instagram
restrict her phone times, she is only 9, she doesn't need social media
get her to bed about 2 hours ago. Tired kids play up.

big hugs OP, when they play up they really know how to push your buttons

Finola1step · 20/02/2015 23:25

I thought you were going to say she's 13 or 14. Not 9!

Tell her to get to bed. You'll talk with her in the morning after some sleep. Half term it maybe but, nearly half 11. The child needs to be in bed.

BrieAndChilli · 20/02/2015 23:27

9 is very young to be actin and doing the things she is doing. I know girls can be stroppy - my 6 year old already strips like a teenager but no way would she still be up at 11pm unless at a party or something, nevermind if she had been disrespectful.
She would have had all electronics removed - phone iPad etc way before now.

slightlyworriednc · 20/02/2015 23:31

Good lord, 9?
I think you have a very skewed view of what normal is.
Take away the phone and the instagram for goodness sake!
Don't leave her room when she tells you to...at this age, her 'business' is your business.
Step up and parent your child. Things will only get worse if you don't.

Summerisle1 · 20/02/2015 23:31

she told me to get out her business

At 9, her business is your business!

Get her up to bed without the phone and remove her from Instagram and any other social media she's on. She's the child, you are the parent and you make the decisions.

BackforGood · 20/02/2015 23:31

I agree with everyone else.
She doesn't need a phone at 9, let alone to be allowed to be on Instagram.
She needs to be in bed.
You need to be parenting her, not negotiating with her.
I assumed you were talking about a 15 yr old at least.

SuburbanRhonda · 20/02/2015 23:32

I hope you meant strops like a teenager, brie

EdSheeran · 20/02/2015 23:33

She's young, she needs boundaries. She needs to go to bed too! Things are so much more fraught at this time of night.

Justmuddlingalong · 20/02/2015 23:33

Who pays for her phone OP?

Original poster

Sexyhouseslippers · 20/02/2015 23:36

I went downstairs to go talk to her she is refusing she told me if she goes upstairs she will only go with her phone or iPad she got DH involved, I just don't want the LO to wake up.

OP posts:

Only1scoop · 20/02/2015 23:36

Awful

slightlyworriednc · 20/02/2015 23:37

What are the consequences for this behaviour?

Original poster

Sexyhouseslippers · 20/02/2015 23:37

She uses a bit of her pocket money which comes from grandparents to pay for phone bills but DH pays.

OP posts:

SuburbanRhonda · 20/02/2015 23:37

And what did your DH do?

Please don't tell us he didn't back you up

EdSheeran · 20/02/2015 23:37

You're the parent, put your foot down and do not give her the phone or the iPad!

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