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Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
Catsrus · 14/02/2015 17:04

In my late 20's I lived ina flat on the top floor of a large house, v. Elderly landlord on the ground floor, another woman on floor between us. One morning I just knew he was dead. Nothing scary, just a sense of something - and he'd died in his chair, cat on his lap. I rang police etc and while the young pc and I were having a cup of tea in my flat - waiting for the coroner - the other tenant came in the front door and she also knew he was dead, so checked on him and went up to her flat to ring 999. I heard her come upstairs so filled her in. We had both felt a very strong sense of the presence of death - but as I say, not scary at all, a very positive not negative experience. It was the first time I saw a dead body and the whole experience made me really believe that something continues after death, some energy..

gamerchick · 14/02/2015 17:07

Well I'm not scared of death. The thought maybe but the brain takes care of any fear when the time comes with its chemicals to keep us calm and take away any fear.

Afterwards I would like the option to stick around kinda.

I don't know what to suggest though OP. It happens to all of us and all you can do is live well and grab life by the balls while we have it.

ihategeorgeosborne · 14/02/2015 17:13

There's some really interesting experiences on here. I also worry about dying, although I worry more about how it will happen and if it will hurt and if I will know I am dying at the time. Just before my mum died, my dad said she had told him she knew it was her time. She did have a strong faith though. I just can't stand the thought of losing my loved ones or dying myself in a fire or car accident or drowning.

duplodon · 14/02/2015 17:24

If you've ever done any breath meditation, you learn that there's a bit of a gap between breaths. Very tiny, but there. When people are getting close to death of natural causes, this gap starts to elongate. Eventually, the next breath doesn't come. When people are relaxed about dying and not terrified of letting go, it can be a really beautiful experience.

Davsmum · 14/02/2015 18:37

That's a comforting thought Duplodon I hope I can achieve that when the time comes.

SunsofAlanKey · 14/02/2015 18:53

I am not scared of death, I worry about how I may die, but not being dead. I was brought up in a Christian household, my dad saw death a lot and it was talked about a lot. As an adult I have a shakey faith, not sure what I believe, but if there is nothing - well then you will have no knowledge of it. That will be it. If there is something else - well I hope my very tenuous belief in a loving and forgiving God is right.

I think worrying constantly being unfair on yourself. Live your life to the best you can, be happy here and now.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 14/02/2015 19:56

the brain takes care of any fear when the time comes with its chemicals to keep us calm and take away any fear.

Is this true gamer ? I would love that to be the case. When I think about death when I can't sleep at 3am I worry about not being able to breathe. It is just that aspect really that bothers me although obviously I don't want to leave my family.

TheChickenSituation · 14/02/2015 20:06

...but the brain takes care of any fear when the time comes with its chemicals to keep us calm and take away any fear.

Gosh, that's a comforting thought, but ... surely only applies if you die from old age/natural causes/in hospital, dosed up with painkillers?

PennieLane · 14/02/2015 20:09

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gamerchick · 14/02/2015 20:16

From what I remember, just before death comes the brain floods itself with something to take away fear.

lessthanBeau · 14/02/2015 20:16

death itself is not painful the peace of the dying tells us that, if there is an afterlife then that will be wonderful, and if its just like going to sleep then what's wrong with that?

londonrach · 14/02/2015 20:22

I used to be frightened of death too but as part of my uni course i had to see some dead bodies. We as a class were worried for weeks, dreading the day. However seeing these bodies made death very less frightening. What happens after death depends on your beliefs and that personal. However when my grandparents died within 5 days of each other i found i was followed around by chaffinches. The strangest being two who fly around the window during the service. Its helped and made they loss better to cope with. They do still visit but now only occasionally. Sorry for everyones loses mentioned on here. X

londonrach · 14/02/2015 20:26

Forgot to say the bodies i saw its feels very peaceful....but also as if the person, soul, essence of that person had gone somewhere. Im not religious but seeing what i saw give me peace too.

CanISayOfHerFace · 14/02/2015 20:28

Had anyone ready "Nothing To Be Frightened Of" by Julian Barnes? I wondered if it might help. I read his "Sense of an Ending" about his wife dying and I was in bits so haven't been brave enough!

MrsDeVere · 14/02/2015 20:34

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MrsDeVere · 14/02/2015 20:36

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TheHobbit · 14/02/2015 20:38

My ex DP died 3 times twice going to hospital and then in hospital. In all three "deaths" he had the same experience. He became a child again and a lady was holding his hand and took him to a tunnel like place. As he was about to go in he was told "Not now" and pushed back with some force. He was revived by a defibrillator.

ihategeorgeosborne · 14/02/2015 20:43

That's really interesting London. I had a similar thing with my mum. Shortly after she died, my dad had a blackbird in his house. It was really weird as we couldn't work out how it got in, no chimney, nothing. I have also seen lots of black birds nearby ever since that have not flown away when I have approached them. I have even been right up to them and said "hello mum". I know this sounds odd, but it gives me comfort. Mrs DeVere Flowers

CanISayOfHerFace · 14/02/2015 21:14

Sense of an Ending should have read Levels of Life Blush

southeastastra · 14/02/2015 21:24

if you are a ghost op, go to the light, that is where ghosts seem to go wrong, hth Grin

seriously though ghosts are just a recording of an event that has happened in the past and if people were cursed to spend eternity on earth there would be a hell of alot more evidence to support this. i suppose....

they do say the universe is getting bigger though so maybe we do go somewhere..

ChillySundays · 14/02/2015 22:56

I think faith does help to deal with death and the 'after life' for want of a better phrase. It doesn't have to be faith in god it can be faith in something spiritual.

I still don't like the idea of dying and not being with my DC and possibly GDC by then but since we don't what happens maybe I will be able to see them just they won't see me.

QTPie · 14/02/2015 23:10

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

QTPie · 14/02/2015 23:11

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Izzy24 · 14/02/2015 23:13

The only reality I know is this moment I am in now. I have happy memories of times past, and hopes of the future.

But this, here and now, is my only reality. I won't waste it by dwelling on something I will never experience.

Because I will never be in that moment after my death.

Only1scoop · 14/02/2015 23:14

Terrifies me Op I've been having panics lately exactly as you describe.