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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be scared of death?

487 replies

dragdownthemoon · 14/02/2015 02:11

I am terrified of what happens after death. I have nightmares about it, I have panic attacks when I think about it. I don't want to be a ghost cursed to wander the earth alone or trapped in a hell dimension, or just all alone in the dark. No one knows what happens when we die and I am terrified of what will happen. I tried to talk to DH about it, he actually laughed at me and says he has no concept of why on earth I could be bothered by this.

Does anyone else get freaked out by the thought of what happens when we die? I am tormented by it and there is no escape, death is coming to us all

OP posts:
salthill · 20/02/2015 13:13

To repent you have to mean it, what I meant was you can't just say "hang on Lord I've just murdered 20 women but I repent" but not mean it. That was the point I was making. Sorry perhaps I hadn't made that clear.

salthill · 20/02/2015 13:22

Freudian..... I agree with that too, but I often think that those that do nitpick at those who believe aren't quite as resolute in their beliefs as they think. I think maybe they're wrestling with their own thoughts and use others as a sounding board?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:23

His only Son died on the cross for us

Why should I believe the words in a book, especially when that book also portrays that god as ordering the death of babies. Do you believe the miracles of Mohammed?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:27

Why do people have to have this nit-picking, dog with a bone attitude to posters who have faith.

People are free not to read or post. I'm not following theists around the supermarket shouting 'what about the Amalekites!!!' They are choosing to not only read but to type out a response which makes me think they are engaging me in the debate. Of course there are places that this is appropriate and here is one of them. In church, the supermarket, your living room while you're trying to watch Eastenders then no.

vdbfamily · 20/02/2015 13:31

I do not switch off any moral compass I just honestly think who am I to tell God what is right and wrong. If you imagine God is a potter and he decides he does not like a batch of pots he has made so he destroys them, who are we to say he cannot do so. We try to fit God into our minute brains and understand him in the same way as we understand each other. Why do we try to do that He is God. He
I do sincerely believe that we all deserve to die. It is the one thing that will surely happen to each one of us. That is why, to return to OP's original question, when you are a Christian, you should not fear death as it is the start of something better. "oh death where is your victory, oh death where is your sting?"
I think when you understand this,it removes all thoughts of moral superiority. I love the fact that Jesus told the guy dying next to him who recognised he was God ,that he would be in heaven. I love that that man had to do nothing to earn that salvation.It is not about us,it is forgiveness freely given. We ALL do things that are wrong and unkind and there are people who commit the most horrendous crimes,often because they are very sick,sad,unloved and broken people.I do not see myself as better than them.I am thankful I have not lived their childhoods, and I for one think it is amazing that they can find forgiveness and peace. I also think that if they truly repent,they then have to live with the realisation and remorse of what they have done.

salthill · 20/02/2015 13:33

Why should I believe the words in a book, especially when that book also portrays that god as ordering the death of babies.........
But you are prepared to believe the parts you want to believe.
Do you believe Henryv111 had 6 wives? , after all that is only words in a book too.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:37

Obviously once they had "accepted" Jesus they wouldn't be murderers, or they hadn't really accepted him.

So it is possible that a murderer will ask for forgiveness just before he dies and escape any sort of punishment. Whereas a 18 year old atheist who works for the Red Cross in Sudan is raped and murdered and goes to hell.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:41

Do you believe Henryv111 had 6 wives?

As far as I know no one has claimed that I need to believe in Henry VIII in order to receive eternal life. Big claims require big evidence.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:44

who am I to tell God what is right and wrong

Scary beeswax! So, if god tells you to do something you would usually think of as not nice,you would just have to do it, because after all, who are you to judge him?

salthill · 20/02/2015 13:44

We don't have all the answers head and nor should we expect to have them. These kind of discussions have gone on for centuries and no ones any much wiser. I do know one thing though, if we look hard for reasons not to believe in God, we'll find them. Open your heart, look around you, you'll see evidence of God everywhere.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:47

We try to fit God into our minute brains and understand him in the same way as we understand each other. Why do we try to do that

So we can't understand god, and mistakenly but genuinely find the bible disgusting because of the limitations his design has put on us. Isn't that as senseless as me standing in my garden and shouting at the ants for not saying hello to me. After all their limited brains make it difficult for them to comprehend me, stupid atheist ants.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:54

We don't have all the answers head and nor should we expect to have them

In that respect I am applying that very logic to my life more than you are. I am saying 'There is no good reason to believe in any of the gods on offer, I have no choice but to hold off making a decision until I have some good testable evidence, and any god who respects me will respect my logical thought process'.

(and besides, imagine you have the wrong god, who is it more likely to get stroppy with? Me for not being able to choose between any of the gods or you for going for one of it's rivals :) )

salthill · 20/02/2015 13:56

No you don't have to believe in Henry111 to get to heaven Head, obviously it was an example of what we believe in books, because you said "why should I believe the words in books".

headinhands · 20/02/2015 13:59

he decides he does not like a batch of pots he has made so he destroys them

So god tells you tomorrow he messed up badly when he made Eskimos,he can't stand them and their 50 stupid words for snow and all that nose rubbing and he wants you to rally together an army to kill them all, babies included, you'll just get on with it will you. After all he's the boss and he made them. (I'm trying not to feel too perturbed by your thinking)

headinhands · 20/02/2015 14:03

why should I believe the words in books

Why don't you believe the Koran or the other texts from different religions?

vdbfamily · 20/02/2015 14:20

I guess this becomes a bit of a 'when is it right to go to war' debate now. If the Amelekites had been trying to destroy the Israelites for hundreds of years and were also sacrificing their babies to false gods, it might have felt acceptable to fight them, in the same way we felt it acceptable for hundreds of thousands of people to die, including many many 'innocents' to rid the world of Adolf Hitler and maintain our national identity. I would not have wanted to fight and most didn't but felt the end justified the means.
If the Inuits had spent hundreds of years trying to annihilate us as a race and vowed they would not stop til all Brits were wiped from the face of the earth,what do you think our response might be? I'm not sure of the answer,but it is rather naive to say we would not respond,ot to think that if we killed the adults and adopted all the children and babies,that they would not grow up wanting to avenge their parents! I am not sure there is a solution but you try and make it all sound rather more simplistic than it is!!

salthill · 20/02/2015 14:37

Head...... Just to go a bit off track......can we talk about the Universe and how you think it came about?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 17:00

I guess this becomes a bit of a 'when is it right to go to war' debate now.

Well no because we are talking about the creator of the universe who isn't limited in options like we are. Why chose the most barbaric method to thwart an army. Would you not find it abhorrent that an army insisted in killing EVERYONE in a nation? Why couldn't god just stop the hearts of the perpetrators like he was able to with other people in the bible, why did people have to stab other people, and as you pointed out, the people doing the stabbing were no more perfect and blameless as the ones they were killing. Of course they weren't always ordered to kill the children, sometimes they were allowed to keep the virgins as brides. Can you imagine witnessing a soldier killing your family and then having to marry them?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 17:02

sacrificing their babies to false gods

god asked Abraham to sacrifice his son at one point so how could he make out he was super anti human sacrifice. Wasn't jesus a sort of human sacrifice?

headinhands · 20/02/2015 17:05

including many many 'innocents' to rid the world of Adolf Hitler

If the british army had the means to stop the hearts of Hitler and his henchmen then they would have. Would you have been happy if the british army announced that they were going to make sure they killed the whole german nation including all their babies, even their pets.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 17:10

it is rather naive to say we would not respond, or to think that if we killed the adults and adopted all the children and babies,that they would not grow up wanting to avenge their parents! I am not sure there is a solution but you try and make it all sound rather more simplistic than it is!!

But it was god that ordered it, a god who we know from the bible is able to just stop people's hearts why would he need to get other people to stab other people, he also knows what will happen before it does. Of course I don't think it happened like that at all and as you suggest it was just one nation fighting another and there was no supernatural deity on anyone's side. Also sometimes they were allowed to marry the virgins, virgins who would have witnessed the Israelites massacring their entire city, and that wouldn't totally screw you up how? The thing that worries me about the reasoning is that it is so easy for you to dehumanise these people because of what a book says, to justify children and babies being killed in case they should get stroppy when they grew up.

headinhands · 20/02/2015 17:13

can we talk about the Universe and how you think it came about?

I don't have a clue,

(I'm fairly certain it isn't anything to do with the religions I know about though as there is nothing to support the claims their texts or their followers make.)

headinhands · 20/02/2015 17:17

he decides he does not like a batch of pots he has made so he destroys them

Better hope he doesn't ever decide he's bored of looking at you lol.

salthill · 20/02/2015 18:28

Head When you say you haven't a clue about the Universe does that mean you don't give it much thought. Because when you think about the Universe and its creation most atheists hit a brick wall. Religions don't even come into it. If you think deeply enough to decide there isn't a God, you can't brush the Creation of the Universe under the carpet. It's got to be considered.
It's where scientists draw a blank, something Created the Universe, and because of the sheer perfection in the positioning of the planets it can't have been accidental. It just can't be discounted.

bigbluestars · 20/02/2015 18:41

salt- your argument is flawed.

Just because we don't fully understand the processes of something it doesn't meaan by default that we have to assume the reasoning is supernatural.

We have come a long way in understanding the complexities of biology, physics,evolution, quantum physics and we have started to unravel the complexities of the beginnings of the universe.
The more we discover the more we find to learn- such is the nature of science.

I don't see why the beginnings of the universe has any more special significance than string theory or molecular biology. It's all of interest, but our knowledge or lack of means nothing.

It certainly is not a reason to default to the idea that a mythical creature must be responsible. It just means we don't know yet. The belief in a deity doesn'y answer any of these questions. -It in fact creates more- who created that deity and why.

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